Page 59 of When to Call a Blitz

I take a deep breath. “Can I be honest about something?” I ask.

They all nod.

“What do you guys think I’m good at? Like, I feel like I’m okay at a lot of things but I’ve never been great. I feel like so many of you guys have these huge, wonderful lives and businesses and I’m just over here still trying to figure out what I want to do. My thirties are closing in and I still feel like I check my bank account a little too much, and I don’t know,” I shrug. “I just feel like I’ve been left behind a bit, but it’s no fault of anyone but myself.”

Briar wastes no time responding. “First, I need you to know that nobody really knows what they want to do in their twenties. Well,” she purses her lips, “Most people. Some know. But you hear of people who spend hundreds of thousands on schooling just to turn thirty-three and realize that they fucking hate their life and they’d rather do just about anything else. They want to create.” She looks around at all of us. “It just so happens that we’re all creative people who have either found each other,” she takes Isla’s hand, “Or stuck by each other.

“Being creative isn’t a weakness. But it does sometimes come with more challenges. Challenges that I think we’ve all experienced a fair share of,” she looks around, and everyone nods. “Izara is the odd one out, but she’s been one of the smartest people I’ve known my whole life and honestly she’s an absolute gift to the legal system. But even she has periods where she thinks she’s unhappy with what she does,” Briar finishes.

“The worst thing anyone has ever done is convince the human race that creativity isn’t worth anything,” Isla adds. “Because I know that you feel like you’re behind, and sure, I’ve gotten really, really lucky. In so many ways. Shit, my brother funded my career,” she shrugs. Leo not only paid for her apartment next door until Owen bought it from him, but he also gave her money so that she could get her career started. Isla told me he had told her that it wasn’t fair for him to get to live hisdreams and make so much money while she struggled to live hers.

Leo is known for being one of the biggest dipshits on the planet, but you can’t say he’s a bad guy. Just the fact that Briar loves him is enough to prove that. The woman wouldn’t ever accept anything less than she deserves.

And considering she’s an actual angel, she deserves a whole lot.

“I guess my point is that it’s really easy for anyone in their twenties to feel behind. Especially in the world we live in right now. But it’s especially hard for creatives because we’re told our whole lives that our work is worth less than others.” Briar takes a sip of her drink, settling back down after her speech.

“I think your photography is amazing, Heidi. And I’ve told you I’d have you in the gallery any day. I’d vouch for you and get you in there. I think you could do really well with it.”

Studying my hands in my lap, I think about it.

But I’ve thought about it before. Long and hard. The answer is always the same.Maybe someday when I’m good enough.

I don’t think that day is ever going to come if I don’t make the jump to prove to myself that Iamgood enough.

“I have to buy a new camera, but I’d really love that,” I say, nearly wincing at the words.

This is a good thing.

A giant smile lights up Isla’s face.

“This has been a lovely conversation,” Mila says with a smirk. “But we’re going to have to get back to the house soon. So, let’s go over a game plan. We’re calling a blitz.”

29

EMMETT

It’s closing in on Halloween and I’m still not entirely sure what I want to be. We’re planning on bringing the kids trick-or-treating in the neighborhood, and then hitting up Lulu’s afterward while Juniper and Elara have a little sleepover.

The main problem being I’m not going to ask Heidi to ditch her friends on a holiday, especially not Halloween. She’s been at every single outing they’ve had in the past.

It just so happens that the answer comes in the form of a phone call from my mom a week before.

“When are we going to see you next, honey?” my mom asks. She and my dad had moved out to California for dad’s job four years ago. Although they’ve missed out on significant moments of Juniper’s life, it’s not realistic for me to expect them to stay close when my dad had such a great opportunity out there.

I’ve always figured things out on my own, and they were great help when I needed extra hands around the house at first.

“You can come see me whenever you want,” I tell her. “It’s football season though, you know I’m not going to be able to get out there to see you guys that much until February.” Well,hopefullyuntil February, if everything goes well. “I think we play the Lightning in a couple of weeks but it’s not like I can staylonger than the team.” We’ll be back on the team plane a couple of hours after the game.

“What if I come visit you?” she asks hopefully.

“Mom, I’ve told you that you can come whenever you want.”

“So if I have plane tickets for Wednesday, you’ll be able to pick me up?”

“Are you looking at plane tickets right now?”

“Yep. And they’re purchased. I’ll be in Maryland around eleven pm.”

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