Page 28 of When to Call a Blitz

“Take your words back. I want to help. What are you feeling?”

The truth is, I’ve lost my purpose in life over and over again. More times than I can count. Most of the time, Juniper is enough to remind me why I’m here. But sometimes it requires therapy visits, and sometimes it’s even more than that.

“I just,” she throws her hands up. “I just feel like nothing I do is enough. Like nothing I do matters. All of my friends are doing what they love. Well,” she pauses, her head cocked to the side. “Almost all of them. But the ones that aren’t at least like what they do. I feel like I’ve been chasing their level of success my entire life, and every single time I get close, the distancechanges. Something happens that sets me back so much, and I never know what to do. I never know what to do. And I ask my mom, and all she can tell me is that everything happens for a reason. And I ask my grandma, and she says the same. And I don’t have m—” her voice breaks, and I wish with everything in me that I could make my feet move toward her to wrap her in a hug.

But I know she doesn’t want that.

“I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do here.”

“Here?”

“This life, Emmett. I’m going to be thirty in a few short years, and I have nothing going for me. Nothing. I feel like I’m the only one being dragged behind, watching all these success stories, and if I’m honest,” her head tilts to the sky, “I feel like half the time they only tolerate me. That one day I’m going to be left behind because, well, Iambehind.”

When tears start welling in her gorgeous green eyes, I can’t take it anymore.

Stepping out onto the cool concrete, I make my way over to her, pulling her in. I’m instantly overwhelmed by the fruity scent of pineapple, and I resist the urge to bury my nose into her hair.

“If there’s one thing I can say to help,” I start, pulling out slightly to look down into her eyes. “It’s that I’ve been around your friends for a long time, and you’re nothing but adored. Everyone loves you, Heidi. And everyone wants what’s best for you.” So much so that Leo warned me that if I hurt her in any way, he would kill me.

“Thank you,” she swallows, her head turning as I pull her back into my chest. Her arms hand loosely at her side, as if not wanting to engage in a full hug, and I understand it.

“You’re amazing at what you do, and I feel like you need to start working on your confidence a little more, okay?"

She nods into me.

Suddenly pulling away, Heidi wipes her eyes. “Sorry about that. It’s just, I don’t know. It’s all been weighing on me a lot lately. I just think that maybe reconnecting with things I used to love may help me a little, you know?” she shrugs.

I nod. I do know.

“Anyways,” she turns and snags her headphones from the car before placing them on her head. “I’m sure you have a lot going on this morning. I’ll be back soon, before you leave. Oh shit, wait,” she pauses, picking up the small felt baggie on her seat. “I brought this for you, actually.”

I take it in my hand, studying it before spilling the contents into my hand.

A thick metal chain slides right out, spilling over my fingers. A larger rectangular gray stone hanging from it.

“What is this?” I ask.

“I told you I’d give you something that night, remember? I’m just keeping my word. It’s smokey quartz.”

She takes off without another word, and I can’t help but watch as she disappears down the road.

I carefully pocket the bag it came in and unclasp it, draping it around my neck.

“Dad?” Juniper asks from the family room, wiping the sleep from her eyes.

“Yeah?”

“Did you get more fruit? I have to feed the,” she stops, the wheels turning in her little head. “birds.”

“You mean the racoons?” I ask with a smile.

Her eyes widen before she looks at her feet. “I don’t know of any racoons, but I do know of birds.”

“Juniper, I know about the racoons.”

Her eyes flicker to mine. “Did Heidi tell you?”

Yes.“Off course not,” I lie. “I found them the other day.” Juniper loves Heidi, and although I understand why Heidi toldme, I also know that Juniper would hate knowing that. It’s just easier to lie to her about it. Keep her both happy and safe.

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