Page 155 of How to Prevent a Fumble

“Is this the ex?” Heidi asks quietly.

I nod, smiling at her. She doesn’t have to be nervous bringing it up.

“Well, my brother was livid,” Isla states matter-of-factly.

“Really?” Heidi asks, shocked for some reason. “So are you guys, you know,” she ducks her head.

“I think so?” I admit out loud for the first time, and the realization hits me. “I mean, yeah, I think we are. I like him.”

Isla nods. “He’s a good guy under there. Dense as fuck, annoying as all hell, but a good guy.”

“You guys have had sex though, right?” Heidi asks, curious.

“I don’t want to hear this!” Isla yells, squeezing her eyes shut and shaking her head.

I nod at Heidi, giggling.

“I fucking knew it,” she whispers, clapping.

Isla leans back on her elbows, watching me. “I think you’re good for him. I don’t know how the hell he convinced you to do any of what you’ve done for him, but I’m thankful for it.”

I smile at her, looking down at my hands. “Things have been rough,” I tell her. “Your brother gave me an out. I know I told you a little bit, and please, like usual, don’t tell my brother. It’s my thing I need to confess at some point. But I had to put Elara first.”

Isla nods in understanding. “I can’t even imagine going through a fraction of what you’ve dealt with, Bri. You don’t have to worry about me tattling to Owen. You talk about it on your own time.”

My heart flutters with something I can’t quite place. For years I’ve really only had one friend—Zara. When I was with Tony there was a circle of housewives I was friends with, sure. But after the divorce? None of them wanted anything to do with me. I was mostly alone.

I needed this.

“He’s always been a control freak though. I’m surprised he let you in,” Heidi says, examining her fingernails.

“Some of my most favorite things have happened in moments where I’ve been completely out of control of myown life,” I say. “And so have some of the worst things. But it’s what you make of it. I think Leo just didn’t know how to process not being able to make every single thing in his life go the way he wanted.”

“I think that’s exactly it,” Isla nods.

Heidi sighs, her nose wrinkling.

“You okay?” I ask.

“Yeah. Just, well, how did you realize that you were done being pushed around?”

Isla’s eyes whip to her friend, concern on her face.

Heidi puts her hands up. “Everything is fine. I just, I don’t know. I’ve had my fair share of controlling people in my life. Part of the reason I wanted this nanny gig was because my last job ended so terribly. I just feel like a punching bag half the time, and it’s a constant cycle. A cycle that I let happen, of course, but a cycle nonetheless.” She bends over, resting her elbows on her knees and her chin on her fists. “I’m just tired of being screwed over all the time, you know?”

“Yeah, I know,” I say quietly.

“I mean, I know that it’s a lot different than what you went through. Being stuck in an abusive relationship is so much harder than what I’ve experienced. But I’m just wondering how you, I don’t know, broke the cycle?”

I take a deep breath, thinking. “First of all, I want you to know that abuse is abuse, Heidi. Call it like it is. I’m not quite sure what you’ve been through, but even though the scale may be different, it doesn’t mean you’re any less deserving of help.”

She looks down at her hands shyly as Isla watches me steadily.

“Second, I think there really comes a day when you wake up after being fucked over one or two or even three too many times, and you change your life. Right then and there. You wake up and realize that everything you’ve been put through is in the past, starting from that moment. The healing is hard.It’s an uphill battle every day. Hell, it’s been years and I still get sad about it all. But then a couple of months later you wake up and realize that that day was the best thing that ever happened to you.”

“I think a lot of people need to hear that,” Isla says, grabbing both my hand and Heidi’s in hers and squeezing.

“I think so too.”

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