Page 50 of Our Secret Summer

“How areyou?” Murray put a hand on Dylan’s arm and the gesture was so kind and warm, it nearly moved Dylan to tears.

“I hate all of this,” Dylan said. “Connor’s coldness. These feelings for Raffo I can’t control. My weakness in going back to her, undoing weeks of trying to get over her. And now this job interview next week for a position I don’t even want.”

“I’m sorry.” Murray gave her arm a gentle squeeze. “I’m working on Connor and I’ll make sure he comes to see you before I leave. I promise you that.” He followed up with a sweet smile. “That’s the only promise I can make, however.”

“I don’t want to be estranged from my son,” Dylan said. “But, damn it, I’m so crazy about Raffo.” She shrugged. “In the end, the choice is easy. I will always choose my relationship with Connor over everything else. I’m just not really there yet, you know? It still hurts so damn much that I can’t be with Raffo. I keep thinking that Raffo and I aren’t even really a thing. We just had a summer fling in the sort of idyllic location that lends itself to that perfectly. It might very well be the sort of thing that doesn’t work in real life. We might be completely incompatible. I’m way too old for her. And she might not feel the same way about me. But the fact I’ll never know is just killing me because…” Dylan shook her head. “I’m crazy about her. When I saw her at Con’s house yesterday it was so crystal clear. Of course I went back. It’s like my car drove itself back there. I haven’t felt this way about anyone in such a long time, but Connor will always be my priority.”Yeah right.Some useless mantra that had been. She’d repeated it the whole drive yesterday, then turned right back around to kiss Raffo anyway.

She found Murray’s gaze. His face was all understanding and empathy. At least, Dylan could be happy for her son that he was with such a wonderful guy. “What do you think about this mess?” she asked.

“I think that when two people fall in love like that, nothing should stand in their way, because life is too damn short. But you’re not my mom, so.”

“I don’t blame Connor,” Dylan said. “I understand completely. No child should have to accept this from their parent. It’s right there in the parenting manual: don’t fall in love with your kid’s friends. Easy-peasy.”

“And yet,” Murray said.

“I’ll get over her eventually. There’s no choice.”

“I wish you didn’t have to. Love is too precious to turn away from like that. I wish I could make Connor see that, but you know what he’s like.”

“He’s just being a normal son with completely ordinary feelings about this.”

“But that’s the thing. Connor is not ordinary and he doesn’t give a damn about being normal. There’s a reason why he and Raffo found each other, that they make each other better and are having so much success. They’re special. I know that I would say that because I’m his boyfriend, but I’m a little disappointed in his norm-core reaction to this.”

“Really?”

“Fuck yeah. You know my story. And you know my dad’s story. If my mom fell in love with my best friend, I’d be the first to congratulate them. I’d get ordained just so I could officiate their wedding.”

Murray’s dad had died of a heart attack last year. One moment he was there, the next he was gone, leaving his family completely shattered.

And before meeting Connor, Murray had nearly died of Covid. Despite being young and healthy, he’d spent a week on a ventilator, his life hanging by a thread. So of course Murray had a different view on something as beautifully gorgeous and heartbreaking as love. Still, Dylan would never wish hardship on her son, even if pain might grant him Murray’s perspective on love. If anything, Dylan was glad that Connor had lived such a charmed life.

“Your mom’s wedding?” Dylan joked, because she could do with a chuckle. “Things are moving quickly.”

“Hypothetical wedding.” A shadow crossed Murray’s face.

“How’s your mom doing?” Dylan asked.

“Okay under the circumstances. She’ll be all right. But it takes time to get over a sudden loss like that. To pick up your life again.”

“Give her my love, please.”

“I will.” His features softened. “She’s so fond of Con.” His eyes lit up as though he suddenly remembered something. “He gave her a Raffo Shah painting not long after my dad died, because Raffo’s work has such a joyful, cheerful quality to it, you know? She has put it front and center in the living room. My mom was really touched by that.”

“Yeah.” Despite what she couldn’t have, Dylan experienced joy and cheer—and many other emotions—every time she looked at the artwork Raffo had painted of her.

“Hey,” Murray said. “You’re not just Connor’s mom. He’s also your son. He can go out of his way for your happiness as well. It doesn’t have to be a one-way street.”

“Connor makes me very happy. He’s the best son a mother could wish for.” Dylan meant it from the bottom of her heart. “This is not something a parent should ask of their child.”

“I couldn’t disagree more.” Murray pursed his lips.

Dylan appreciated the sentiment behind Murray’s words, but it didn’t change anything about the situation.

CHAPTER 34

Because Raffo didn’t want Mia to know her new address—lest she turn up out of the blue again—she had only shared it with a few close friends. The afternoon light slanted through bare windows, casting long shadows across drop cloths and the few cardboard boxes she’d bothered to unpack. She was putting the final touches on Dylan’s portrait, savoring that rare satisfaction of perfect execution, when the bell rang.

“Hey stranger.” Connor stood in the doorway.

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