Page 34 of Our Secret Summer

What was Dylan supposed to say to that? She had become a woman who was into anal play there and then. And the real kicker? Not a word of what Raffo had said had been a lie. She’d asked—demanded, really—Dylan to touch herself while she got out the lube and played with her there and, fuck, Dylan could never, ever forget. The sensation was etched sharply into her memory because of its utter ecstasy combined with Raffo’s audacity and the general addictiveness of her personality.

But Dylan had to ban these memories swiftly from her brain. She gripped the steering wheel tighter, remembering how Raffo had whispered encouragement in her ear, how she’d known exactly when to push and when to be gentle. It wasn’t just the physical sensation that had been extraordinary—it was the trust between them, the way Raffo had made her feel completely safe while simultaneously driving her wild. Dylan had never experienced anything like it, that perfect balance of tenderness and raw desire. How was she supposed to forget any of this? But she had no choice. Los Angeles wasn’t far. She’d be reaching the city limits soon. She took a few deep breaths and made the call she’d been dreading for weeks.

She called her son.

It was the middle of the afternoon when Dylan arrived in LA and met Connor at his gallery.

“Oh, Mom.” He wrapped her in his arms, and Dylan felt herself go a little limp against his chest.

“I missed you so much,” Connor said. “I’m all for spiritual journeys but it was too long, even though you came back early.”

“We have to talk, darling,” Dylan said. “I have to tell you something.”

“Did something happen on your trip?” Connor held her at arm’s length. “You look good, Mom. Healthy and strong and, I don’t know—I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I have a feeling you’re about to tell me all about that.”

Connor didn’t have a clue—how could he possibly imagine what had really happened in Big Bear?

“Shall we go into your office?” Dylan needed all the privacy she could get for this conversation.

“Sure.” Connor walked them into his office and the first thing Dylan saw was, unmistakably, a Raffo Shah painting. It was one of her earlier works—all bold colors and sharp angles, so different from the softer style she’d developed in Big Bear. Dylan’s throat tightened as she remembered watching Raffo paint, how her whole body would become part of the process, how she’d bite her lower lip in concentration. The memory felt dangerous here in Connor’s office. But Dylan had to keep it together.

Connor poured them both a glass of water and they sat in the lounge chairs by the window. “Tell me everything. I’m absolutely dying to hear about your adventures.”

Here we go, Dylan thought. This confession felt almost easy compared to the secret she’d never be able to share. In the pause before she spoke, Dylan imagined telling Connor about Raffo and her. Would it really be so atrocious? Wasn’t Connor always saying that love is love? But Dylan pulled herself together again.

“Darling, um…” She tried to look at Connor’s face but her gaze skittered away. “There’s no easy way to say this and I should have told you weeks ago, but I… I didn’t go to Europe. I made a bad investment a few months ago and I lost a lot of money. I spent the summer in Big Bear instead.”

“What?” Connor knitted his eyebrows together. “What do you mean? You’re not making any sense, Mom. Are you okay?” He slanted his head. “Raffo’s in Big Bear, anyway. You can’t have been there. I would have heard by now. She tells me everything.” The penny seemed to drop—slowly. A shadow crossed his face. The confusion in his eyes slowly transformed into something darker as the pieces started fitting together. His jaw tightened, and Dylan could practically see the wheels turning in his head as he connected the dots about his mother and his best friend sharing the same space all summer, keeping secrets from him.

“Raffo was there. I asked her not to tell you. Please, Con, don’t be mad at her. Raffo didn’t want to lie, but I begged her to. It’s not her fault.”

“But, um—why wouldn’t you tell me?” He rubbed his chin. “How much money did you lose?” He inhaled sharply. “What on earth is going on here?”

“A year or so ago, I met this guy. He was big into crypto and it piqued my interest. I got involved, did my research—at least I thought I did. I bought a couple of thousand dollars’ worth and it kept on going up and up, so I kept buying more and more. Then, after I’d gone all in, the crypto exchange I used was hacked, losing billions in customer funds. Then the SEC cracked down with strict new regulations, and the coin I’d invested in crashed to nearly zero overnight.”

“That doesn’t sound like you at all, Mom,” Connor said, his voice icily calm.

“I’d just quit my job and was making plans to start a new agency after my trip to Europe. I got carried away because I figured the more seed money I had, the bigger the chances of my new ad agency succeeding. I should have pulled out much earlier. I should have had my ear to the ground more. I was blind to the reality of it and oh-so stupid. God, I’ve never felt so stupid and utterly dumb in all my life. Which is why I didn’t tell you. I couldn’t. I needed some time to process my humongous failure, but I also could no longer afford to go to Europe. I canceled everything, got refunds, and I hid out in the lake house instead.”

Connor didn’t say anything for a while, then he shook his head. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”

“I was ashamed. I hope you can understand that.”

“But you lied to me and then… you made Raffo lie to me.MyRaffo. My best friend.” He scoffed. “I can’t believe she went along with it.”

“She didn’t want to, but… that’s all on me. I explained to her why I needed more time and then days turned into weeks and then, a few days ago, you called with the news about the licensing deal and then Raffo really couldn’t take it anymore. She made me come back because she couldn’t lie to you any longer.” Dylan buried her head in her hands—it all sounded so much worse now that she was telling her son. “I’m sorry I made Raffo hide this from you.”

“Jesus, Mom. Raffo’s not… she’s not a liar. She’s—fuck, I sent her to Big Bear because she was in pieces and then she finds you there, because you lied to me about being in Europe and if that wasn’t bad enough, you then make her lie to me too.” He expelled a sharp breath, running his hands through his hair in frustration. “How is she?”

“Raffo’s, um—” Dylan bit back the tears. She couldn’t start crying about Raffo in front of Connor. “She’s much better. She’s painting again. I think she’ll be all right.”

“Thank fuck.” Connor threw his head back dramatically.

“I’m so sorry, darling. I know it’s a lot right now, but I hope you can accept my apologies at some point. I never meant to hurt you. I surely never meant to drag Raffo into this. None of this should have happened, but it did.”

“How much money did you lose?” Connor leaned forward with his elbows on his knees.

Dylan cleared her throat, as though that would make admitting the ludicrous amount she invested easier to confess. “Half a million.” No matter how much time had passed, and how much Raffo had propped up her self-esteem, the shame about her mistake still burned savagely inside her when she recited the amount—it probably always would.

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