Page 56 of Nothing Heals Me Like You Do

Fucking Justine. And this fucking movie. Both Sienna and Justine now had plenty of reasons to have a love-hate relationship withGimme Shelter.

Sienna scrolled through the few text messages she had received from Justine—before she’d blocked her number. What would happen if she unblocked it? Would she get the messages that Justine had tried to send her? There was only one way to find out.

Sienna unblocked Justine’s number but nothing happened. Her phone didn’t blow up with unread messages. Of course, it didn’t.

Sienna stared at her phone as memories of Justine scrolled through her mind, as if conjured by seeing her name. Of Justine’s arms around her. Of the incomparable soothing effect her warm body had on Sienna’s rattled nervous system. Something flared inside her. It could be exactly what she needed to regain the ability to simply doze off. To get some sleep. To restore some peace to her exhausted mind and wrecked body.

She dropped her phone on the bed. Sienna knew she wasn’t thinking straight. Her brain was operating on the bare minimum of sleep, on endless tossing and turning and mulling everything over in her head. But didn’t Justine owe her one decent night of sleep? At the very least, Sienna thought. Didn’t she owe Sienna the consoling warmth of her body? Just for one night?

Oh yes, she fucking did.

Sienna arranged a car to pick her up in ten minutes. Because she was going to get what she was owed. What she had been denied by Justine being, so infuriatingly, Justine.

Chapter31

When you slept in the street for long enough, you forever lost the ability to sink into a deep slumber that allowed you to snooze through anything. Subsequently running the shelter hadn’t helped because the emergencies were frequent, and often happened after dark.

So Justine woke with a start, but was barely rattled by the banging on her door. She didn’t share her home address, but kids were savvy these days, and it wasn’t very hard to find out where Justine lived. She jumped out of bed and pulled her worn old robe around her, thinking it might be Ashleigh as she hurried down the stairs. She’d been admitted to a psychiatric unit but maybe she’d escaped. Anything was possible.

“All right. All right,” Justine shouted at the door. “Hold your horses.” She unlocked the door and threw it open, only to come face-to-face with Sienna.

Sienna didn’t wait for an invitation to come in. She barged past Justine into the cramped hallway of her small house. She looked a little unhinged. Her eyes red-rimmed with blue-black half-moons underneath them. Her blouse was done up all wrong, with gaping holes between the buttons and she was wearing slippers that weren’t meant for the outdoors.

“This isn’t forgiveness,” Sienna said. “It’s nothing of the sort.”

“Okay.” Justine examined her face to ascertain Sienna wasn’t sleepwalking—that she was actually fully awake. “Hey.” She tried to lock her gaze on Sienna’s, but Sienna wouldn’t—or couldn’t—look her in the eye. “Are you all right? Physically, I mean?” Justine gathered Sienna must be in quite some mental distress to turn up at her house in the middle of the night looking totally unkempt.

“Am I all right?” Sienna’s eyes grew wide for a moment. “Of course, I’m not all right. I can’t sleep. For the life of me, Justine, I cannot go to sleep.” She narrowed her eyes to slits. “And you owe me a night of sleep. I just—” Her shoulders slumped. “I need someone to hold me so I can go the fuck to sleep.” Tears started streaming down her cheeks as though a rain cloud had burst over her head.

Justine bridged the distance between them. “Is it okay if I touch you?”

Sienna nodded.

“Come here.” Justine folded her arms around Sienna as gently as she could. “I’m here. It’s okay,” she said. “I’ll hold you.”

Instantly, as soon as they touched, Sienna’s body went limp against Justine’s. In a matter of minutes, Justine’s robe was soaked with tears.

“It’s okay. Let it all out.” She held Sienna a little tighter, more of their bodies touching.

They stood entangled like that, Sienna sobbing and heaving, for what felt like hours, until Sienna calmed down. But she didn’t let go of Justine’s body. If anything, she squeezed her arms around Justine’s waist with a tighter grip.

“Can I sleep here tonight?” Sienna whispered. “I’m just so tired.”

“Of course, you can.” Justine cupped the back of Sienna’s head in her palm.

“In bed with you. I need you to hold me. I need to sleep.”

“Yes.” Justine didn’t have to think about this for even a split second. Sienna needed her, and this time, she was going to be there all the way, no matter what it took. “Shall we go upstairs? Or do you want to talk more? Have some water first?”

Sienna’s chin moved from left to right against Justine’s chest.

“Come on.” Justine untangled their limbs. She took Sienna’s hand and led her up the stairs.

In her bedroom, she sat Sienna on the edge of the bed and crouched before her so she could slide off Sienna’s inadequate footwear. Then she took a respectful step back, because it didn’t feel appropriate to help Sienna undress. This wasn’t forgiveness, after all.

Sienna tugged her wrongly buttoned blouse over her head and tossed it to the floor. She wriggled out of her jeans and then, without saying anything else, unhooked her bra. In just a pair of briefs, she slipped under the covers of Justine’s bed.

Justine let the robe slide off her shoulders and hurried into bed with Sienna.

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