Page 48 of Nothing Heals Me Like You Do

That cold hard fist that had wrapped itself around her heart when she’d heard of her father’s death was still there, albeit a little less tight. She’d had a week to process that first, horrible blow. Now, what remained was this aching void inside her that she, sometimes, found hard to explain, because she hadn’t even been that close to Bobby. If it felt like this—utterly devastating and grim—when her father died, Sienna couldn’t possibly imagine what it would be like to lose her mother. The thought was too horrific to consider for even a single second because Sienna predicted she’d never want to get out of bed again if the world was without Maxine Brewster.

Now, the world was without Bobby Bright. Her dad being who he was, Sienna’s phone had been blowing up non-stop with messages and condolence calls. Bobby’s death was still in the news every day. Every angle of the accident was being examined and re-examined. So many people that Sienna had never heard of had something to say about her father.

The family had discussed at length what his funeral should look like: a small, intimate gathering or a large celebrity circus. No matter how much they might have wanted the former for themselves, they owed Bobby the latter. Because Bobby Bright was a Hollywood icon. One of the last real movie stars. A ridiculously charismatic man of undisputed talent who had died well before his time. People living on the other side of the world who had never met him, who knew him only from the movies he’d starred in, mourned his death as if he’d been a friend. Most of all, everyone who’d actually been close to Bobby, knew in their soul that he would have wanted the biggest, most lavish funeral possible. They could no longer do anything else for him, but they could honor his spirit—his very essence. No matter how much they might have been annoyed by it when he was still alive.

His never-ending hankering for attention. His constant pursuit of fame and adoration. His need to be the focus whenever he entered a room with his extravagant, extroverted charm. To see his name on a billboard so it could draw millions of people to movie theaters around the globe. That’s what Bobby had lived for. On many occasions, it had been far more important than spending time with his kids—than being a father. But none of that still mattered, because Bobby was dead. Sienna’s father was dead.

She’d never be able to tell him how much he had inspired her to become an actor. How much he had taught her, just by doing what he did and being who he was. How much the advice he had given her had meant to his youngest daughter. She could only hope that he knew, because she’d certainly never told him. That was not the kind of relationship they had.

The day before, Sienna and Taissa had been summoned to their father’s lawyer’s office. He had given them each a sheet of paper with the amount of money they’d inherit written on it. It was an amount that had to be scribbled on a folded piece of paper so that it didn’t have to be said out loud—like in those gangster movies from the eighties her father was still so adored for. He’d probably stipulated in his will that they be notified this way—that was also the kind of guy he was. Sienna concluded that giving her and Taissa the full amount of what he owned was his way—the only way he still had left when it came to it—of showing them the extent of his love for them.

“Shall we do this, sis?” Taissa put the piece of paper in her bag and rose. “Shall we say goodbye to dad?”

Bobby’s big send-off, that was open to anyone who wished to attend, was about to begin.

“Let’s do it,” Sienna said on a sigh. She wished it was over already—and that she didn’t have to share her grief with all these people.

But at least Justine would be there to hold her hand. Sienna was so extremely grateful to have Justine in her life today.

Taissa leaned against her husband’s shoulder. Even Maxine, who hadn’t been married to her dad for such a long time, seemed overcome by emotions, and perhaps also the grandiose circumstances, and held on to Eddy for support. Sienna was the only one who didn’t have a significant other to lean on. Because Justine was not there.

They were supposed to meet at Sienna’s mom’s house before going to the church—Bobby considered himself a lapsed Catholic and wanted a religious funeral—but Justine hadn’t shown up by the time they’d had to leave. She hadn’t responded to Sienna’s texts. Sienna had tried calling her before switching off her phone—she needed it off for the service, because it was still blowing up with messages about her dad—but it had gone to voicemail.

Justine had a front row seat next to Sienna in the church but that seat had remained empty. Just before the service had started, Sienna had looked into the vast crowd behind her, hoping to spot Justine somewhere in the back. She had seen Rochelle and Rita and Nora and Mimi and Alexis and almost everyone else from theGimme Shelterset, but no Justine Blackburn. Where the hell was she?

Sienna was worried—especially after Bobby’s accident—and perhaps also a little angry because the very least Justine could have done was send a message.

But Sienna couldn’t spend too much energy worrying and being angry at Justine because she was saying goodbye to the man responsible for half her DNA, the man she had loved simply because of his role in her life, but had also thought the worst of more often than she should have.

Her and Bobby’s relationship had been complex and it certainly hadn’t been a straightforward father-daughter relationship, but he had always been her dad and he had always loved her, even though he couldn’t always show it—but who could?

His death had ripped something open inside Sienna, like an extra reservoir of love she had for her father that she hadn’t had access to when he’d still been alive. As if he’d had to die for Sienna to find it. A newfound appreciation for how he was and what he meant to millions of people.

Bobby Bright had not been an ordinary man with an ordinary life. Sienna had never known him before he’d shot to fame. He’d always been a famous movie star to her and she’d never been very impressed by it—she’d been annoyed by it most of the time—but as she sat there, as Peter Kaminski, one of Bobby’s best friends, was giving something between a eulogy and a roast—something Bobby would have undoubtedly loved—Sienna considered that she’d seen her dad through a too-narrow lens. That she’d focused on his faults more often than his qualities. That she would miss the hell out of him and the deeply flawed but wonderful person he’d been.

Tears trickled down her cheeks and she wished so fervently that she could lean into the warm embrace of someone she loved—a special person to get through this tough time with. She wanted nothing more than to find comfort in the arms of someone who understood, someone who’d been there for her all week. And Justine had been there. The death of a parent was not something that scared off Justine Blackburn—on the contrary. So where was she now? Why had she decided to leave Sienna to deal with all this without her, today of all days? At this excruciatingly emotional event. At the time when Sienna needed her most of all.

Sienna glanced at the empty seat next to her, which had literally become a waste of space. If she’d known Justine wasn’t going to show up, she’d have asked a friend to sit with her. She would have made sure she’d had a shoulder to cry on.

She caught her mother’s eye and, in response, her mother scooted over and put her arm around Sienna. She took a deep breath as she found so much more than comfort in her mom’s embrace. The tears that dripped from her eyes multiplied. Because what Bobby’s death had also done was trigger an irrational fear of Sienna’s mother dying—just like that, the way Bobby had done. And who would hold her then?

As the service continued, and that front row seat remained conspicuously empty, Sienna’s sadness over her father’s death morphed into mad fury over Justine’s glaring absence.

Chapter26

Justine knew she had screwed up, but she also knew in her bones that she didn’t have a choice. Try as she might, in all of her fifty-four years, she still hadn’t found a way to be in two places at once. And today of all days, she’d had no choice but to put Ashleigh first, no matter how unfair it was to Sienna.

By the time she’d had the chance—and the presence of mind—to call Sienna, the funeral service had begun and Sienna had been unreachable. When the doctor had assured her that Ashleigh was stable, Bobby’s funeral had almost finished. After Justine had—finally—been able to briefly talk to Ashleigh, to assure her that she wasn’t alone in this, that Justine was there for her no matter what, the reception at Maxine’s house was well on the way.

Justine sat in her car outside. Her old Subaru stuck out like a sore thumb between all the gleaming black town cars with drivers at the wheel. She’d been getting dressed for the funeral service when she’d received the call about Ashleigh, and at least she was wearing a black suit, but it was wrinkled and her white blouse had a coffee stain on it. As soon as she went inside that house, she would stand out like a sore thumb as well—and not just because of her disheveled looks.

Justine had texted Sienna when she’d left the hospital, but she hadn’t received a reply. She wondered if she should try calling Sienna and ask her to come outside so they could talk in private so Justine could explain what happened. But Sienna had just buried her father and Justine felt like it was too much to ask—especially after she had failed to show up. Being there for Sienna was truly the only thing she’d had to do and she had utterly failed at this simple task—just like she had done so many times for others in the past.

Justine huffed out a breath, gathered her courage, and made her way inside—she’d faced much worse in her life, after all.

The house was packed with people, some of them surely celebrities, but Justine didn’t recognize any of them. She spotted Sienna talking to someone by the big table in the dining area but before she could reach her, Maxine intercepted Justine.

“I’m not sure you should be here.” Maxine’s stare was cold and hard on Justine. “You’re a little late.”

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