Page 54 of Still the One

“No, although that wasn’t always my choice. When I finally did start asking about you, Sandra made it very clear that she wasn’t going to do that with me. For the sake of our friendship, you were off limits in conversation,” Mac says.

“Same here. Well, after a while, at least.” The earfuls Sandra gave me after I chose Cherry left almost as big a scar as my break-up from Mac. “It wasn’t easy for her.”

“Why do you think she finally relented?” Mac asks.

“She didn’t relent. Enough time had passed for her to ask both of us to be there on her big day. For once, she was only thinking about herself, and good for her.”

“Yeah.” Mac looks at her fork full of food. “This is delicious, by the way. Has anyone ever said you should do something in food?”

“There was this blonde back in the day,” I play along. “Hot as hell. A body like you wouldn’t believe. She had some sway over me, and I let her talk me into pursuing my dream of becoming a baker.”

“Because of her hot body?” Mac pretends to be outraged.

I nod. “She was a college athlete, so I was pretty much defenseless against all those delicious muscles.”

“Hm.” Mac puts down her fork. “Can you tell me some more about this person? Would I have known her?”

“Oh, yeah.” I gaze into Mac’s eyes. I can still so easily see the woman I fell in love with back then. “You wouldn’t have been able to resist her either.”

Mac chuckles and puts down her fork. She reaches out her hand. “Just to be clear, I don’t think you bailed on me again.”

I take her hand in mine and it reminds me of how we used to be. Always touching. Always in contact. Her skin against mine is instantly soothing.

“I understand why Sandra would put it that way, though.” I hold onto Mac’s hand a little tighter. “But I’m not going to bail on you anytime soon. Not if I can help it.”

Mac just nods. Maybe she doesn’t believe me, or maybe she just needs more time before she can. “There was not much to bail on, was there?” She traces a fingernail over the inside of my hand. “I was doing what I’ve always done since we broke up.” She exhales dramatically. “I never thought it would feel so good to just let it all go.” She pauses. “And maybe, paradoxically, I can only let it all go with you.”

“If only Sandra had gotten married ten years earlier,” I say.

A shadow crosses Mac’s face. “Life goes the way it goes.”

“You’re right. We should be happy Sandra and Tyrone finally tied the knot. It took them long enough to find each other.”

“I was absolutely terrified when I arrived in Maui,” Mac says. “I didn’t want to leave the airport. For a brief moment, I considered taking the first flight back.” She traps one of my fingers between hers. “I was so afraid of what seeing you again would do to me. As though, subconsciously, I already knew it would totally undo me. Although I would never have been able to admit that to anyone, especially myself.”

“It’s been quite the ride since, but here we are.” I go all mellow inside.

“I wish I could promise you a smoother ride from here on out, but that’s not a promise I can make right now.” Mac exhales slowly. “Although I can hardly claim that I want to go slowly.”

“It will take the time it takes for you to be able to trust me fully again, Mac, but we have time.” We have the rest of our lives.

“Please tell your landlady you’re taken now.” Mac paints on a smirk.

“Oh, she knows.” I might have bounded up the stairs and knocked on Miss Carol’s door like I’d just won the lottery after that FaceTime call with Mac. “You’re kind of cute when you’re jealous, by the way.”

“You’re just saying that because of the outcome of this particular bout of jealousy.” Mac swallows slowly. “I’ve wasted a lot of my life on jealous, paranoid nonsense.”

“It’s not nonsense. As you just said, life goes the way it goes and…” I hold on tightly to her hand, hoping it’s better than another apology. “Who knows? Maybe Alan was right. If you and Leila had stayed together, she wouldn’t have saved Isabel Adler.”

Mac narrows her eyes. “Leila is a very attractive woman.” She shakes her head. “We could have been good together under different circumstances.” She pulls her lips into a devilish smirk.

“Are you trying to make me jealous?” I ask.

Mac shrugs. “Is it working?”

“I’m jealous of everyone who got to be with you. Hell, I was jealous of your co-hosts on TV, because they got to spend time with you and I didn’t.”

“I’ve always been so focused on my own pain.” Mac’s voice has lowered. “I was so angry with you for such a long time, I never stopped to consider yours.”

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