Page 51 of Still the One

“And you know why we can’t be together.”

“Then maybe you should learn not to be jealous when I do go out with someone else,” Jamie says. Her words cut me like the sharpest knife.

“I’m always going to be jealous,” I blurt out. “If I’m not over you by now, I’m never going to get over you.”

“I’m all out of arguments, Mac. And I’m getting tired of this not-so-merry-go-around.” Jamie sinks her front teeth into her lip and for the first time ever, it doesn’t make me want to kiss her. Not only because I physically can’t, but also because she’s right—and it hurts like hell.

“I loaf you too,” I say, because I’m all out of arguments as well and it’s all I can think of. But it’s not funny under these circumstances.

“Then take the leap. Stop making yourself—and me—so miserable with all this dwelling in the past.” Jamie attempts a tight smile before continuing. She looks vulnerable and a little wounded. “I’m not asking you to marry me, Mac. All I’m asking is that you give me a chance. That you try to get past all that’s holding you back. For us. Please.”

I can’t say no to Jamie any longer. I’ve worn myself down with my boundless desire for her and that ugly pang of jealousy I just experienced. If I have to choose between the two—and Leila’s right about this, at least—I’d be a fool to choose the latter. I want to choose love and joy, for once in my life after our break-up.

Don’t look too far ahead, I tell myself. Look at Jamie’s face on the screen. And say yes already.

“I’ll try,” I say.

Jamie’s big eyes go wider still, as though she has seen the most badass ghost. “You will?” She leans closer to the camera. “Mac? You will?” Her voice breaks.

“I can’t make you any promises, but I will try. I want to.”

“Oh my god.” Jamie heaves a huge sigh. “Why aren’t you here right now?”

All I can give her in return is a smirk.

“Should I hop on a plane?” Jamie asks. “That affliction we talked about last time has suddenly gotten so much worse. I might not live if I don’t kiss you within the next twenty-four hours.”

“We’ve waited twenty years.” I sink back into the pillows. A huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders—a weight I kept in place for far too long. “What’s another week?”

“That’ll give me a chance to polish The Thing,” Jamie says. The fragile look in her eyes from earlier has transformed into a naughty spark.

“For an entire week?” I ask in between giggles.

“What else am I going to do with myself?” Her face becomes serious again. “You have an entire week to change your mind.”

“I’m sick of changing my mind.” Admittedly, my track record in this department hasn’t been stellar since I’ve seen Jamie again. “I want to be with you, Jamie.” Even though I’m terrified, I think. Even though I’m filled to the brim with doubts. But my desire for Jamie is far bigger.

“Maybe it’s good that you have a week to think it over,” Jamie says.

“For you as well,” I say.

“No.” Jamie shakes her head. “I know exactly what I want. No one compares to you, Mac. I want you.”

“I want you too,” I say and, for the first time, it feels right.

Chapter 28

Jamie

Who knew seven days could feel like seven lifetimes? Mac and I spoke on the phone every day, but she wasn’t in Seattle for a holiday and I’m quickly learning how full-on her job is. Mac’s not just a pretty face on TV telling viewers what happened in the world of sports. She knows her stuff. She’s a master at it. And she works damn hard. Maybe that’s why she bought that glitzy apartment that, in my opinion, doesn’t suit her one bit. Her priorities in life have certainly shifted. The Mac I knew didn’t care about a fancy place to live. She cared about me, our future, and her job. In that order.

As I pace through my living room, waiting for time to pass, my mind wanders to when she came to my hotel room. When she stated she didn’t care about me or my feelings any longer. It sounded so plausible when she said it, but it didn’t take long for her to start contradicting herself. She’s been doing that ever since. So, of course I’m scared she’ll change her mind. But I also know I’m nowhere near as frightened as she is. So many outcomes are possible. And love doesn’t exist without risk.

Finally, my phone beeps with a message telling me Mac’s plane has landed. Depending on traffic, she’ll be home in an hour—and she has the next four days off. My heart skips another beat.

I grab my bag, and the groceries I bought, and start walking. I’ll arrive at her building well before she does, but I couldn’t stay at home any longer. I can’t wait to feel her skin against my hands. Her lips against mine. Most of all, I can’t wait to wake up next to her tomorrow and know that when I look at her, when I see her lying next to me, that’s where she wants to be—and wants to stay.

She wants to try. We’re both going to try, but the leap is bigger for Mac. It holds more risk even though I’d rather never bake another loaf in my life than hurt Mac again. Although I can’t predict the future, I know, in my heart of hearts that I will never cheat on her again. Certain life lessons are so painful, a repeat offense is simply not an option.

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