Page 86 of The Love We Make

“Not much.” Nora brings her hand to her mouth. “Is that bad?” She shrugs. “When I train with Marcy, there’s not an inch of space left in my brain to even consider asking a personal question. There are no easy days with Marcy. She doesn’t believe in them.” Nora throws the duvet off her body. “This is the result.”

“I’m not complaining.” It’s hard to tear my gaze away.

“I’d like that in writing next time I get up early for Marcy.”

“Do work on that alarm clock solution. A smart woman like yourself should have that figured out in no time.” I can’t help but pull her to me, nor can I help feeling like a bit of a hypocrite for admiring Nora’s impossible body—for what she puts herself through to maintain it at her age. But I can accept this ambivalence easily, because it’s not my body, and I don’t have to work out with Marcy at the crack of dawn.

“We should get up,” Nora says, but instead of hopping out of bed, she kisses me full on the lips. “That was a really amazing thing you did last night. Coming here like that. No one’s ever done something like that for me before. No one’s ever given me the benefit of the doubt like that.”

“Your friends do.” If you can take the measure of a person by who their best friends are, Nora is one of the most wonderful people on the planet. “They love you so much, Nora. It’s a beautiful thing.”

“They told me some things I definitely didn’t want to hear.”

“That’s also what friends are for.” If my son’s going to be with an older man, then let it be a charming, heart-in-exactly-the-right-place older man like Juan.

“What did Jay and Imani say to you?” Nora props herself up onto an elbow. “That made you come over here and have your wicked way with me?” Her grin is gleeful.

“They asked me to look beyond your overly dramatic antics.”

“Oh, really?” The fact that Nora takes the joke easily, makes me believe we’ve turned an important corner already—and that I won’t have to do much looking beyond anymore.

* * *

“I don’t want to pretend that I know better,” I say, then realize that’s a horrible thing to say. “Sorry. That came out wrong.”

“I get it.” Nora sips from her coffee. “I’m the world champion in that particular discipline.”

“I’m a mother and once you are a mother, there’s no switching off the Mom perspective. It’s not possible. So I will always look at everything from the Mom angle as well.”

“Sure.”

“I don’t know your parents.” I’d sure love to meet them, but I will not make the mistake of ever pushing that family meeting. “But, Nora, there’s no way that they’re not proud of you. And sure, you can argue all you like that I can’t know that, not for certain. And you would be right, but I would still argue my case. It’s not because you can’t express an emotion that it’s not there. On the contrary.”

“I know.” Nora pushes her plate away. She ate barely half of what Ricky made for her—probably because Marcy didn’t give her the workout from hell. But this, too, I need to let go. It dawns on me I might have just as many things to let go of as Nora if I want this thing between us to work. “I’m feeling a lot of emotions right now that I can’t express.” By the tone of her voice, I can tell she’s joking. It’s probably her way of dealing with stuff she doesn’t want to deal with—if it’s no longer possible to avoid it, then make a joke of it.

“Like what?” I’m happy to play along. I’m not Nora’s therapist. I’m her… lover, for now, I guess.

“Just wondering if we should warn Ricky not to come outside for the next fifteen minutes.” She catches my ankle between her feet.

“You’re doing a fine job of expressing your emotions, by the way.”

“Who knew I had it in me?” Nora flashes me another grin.

“I did,” I say. “Remember when you tried to kiss me in my kitchen?” I lean to her and put my hands on her knees. “That was the first of your suppressed emotions trying to find a way out.”

Nora chuckles. “Maybe.” She slants her head toward me, coming in for a kiss.

I hold her off, pull my face away from her a little. “Please know that you are very loved. There’s nothing Juan and Imani wouldn’t do for you. They literally begged me to give you another chance.”

She gives a tiny nod.

“I love you,” I say. “I’m here. I came back and I was pretty easy to convince. No arm twisting was required, because I’ve seen you, Nora. I’ve seen glimpses of who you really are, and I can’t wait to see all of you. Your big, big heart that hides under all that needless insecurity. I want all of it. I have zero interest in Emily Brooks. I only want Nora Levine.” I rest my forehead against hers. “You are more than enough for me and there are no conditions attached to my feelings for you, to my love for you.” I dig my fingertips into her thigh. “Your family loves you, Nora.” Even though I have no authority to say this, no knowledge to back this up, I need to say it. I need her to hear it. “I bet even Marcy loves you a little bit.”

“I think I might actually love Marcy a little bit,” Nora says, and I’m not sure if she’s deflecting again or is being serious. “Don’t get me wrong. For two hours every morning, I absolutely hate Marcy’s guts for what she pushes me to do, but the way she makes me move and use my body, helps me process so much.” Nora nuzzles her nose against mine. “Like you did last night. I know you didn’t just do that because you find my Marcy-made body irresistible.”

“Then you know the most important thing.” I let Nora kiss me now. I kiss her back greedily, until we’re disturbed by Ricky clearing his throat behind us.

“I’m sorry, Nora.” Ricky sounds a lot more gleeful than sorry. “But your car’s here.”

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