Page 68 of The Love We Make

It’s surprisingly easy to give myself to her because I want it so much. Or maybe she’s just a magician with her tongue. Or maybe a bit of both. Mimi’s tongue on me there always unleashes something spectacular inside of me, nudges at the parts of me that have been stuck for decades. If I’m not careful, if I don’t shield myself enough, she may loosen me up completely one day. God knows what will happen then.

But that’s for later. This is now. My body is still tired from my workout, my muscles mellow, my blood vessels dilated. Mimi might be a magician, but it’s not just that. I’m so in love with her, I’m seriously considering spending Thanksgiving with her and her family. I’m considering bending all the rules I’ve lived by for so long. Look at me, knees wide, at her mercy. How did she even do this? Because it’s no longer a question of not believing in quickies, either. Not if the dizzy feeling in my head and fluttering sensation in my gut are anything to go by. I can’t get enough of her tender tongue on my clit, how it stands for everything she is. How she makes me do things I would never otherwise consider with that soft but insistent touch she has. How she makes me see things differently. How she makes me come like this before eight o’clock in the morning. It’s all so inconceivable, yet it’s happening all the same.

* * *

“I vote yes.” Juan holds up his hand. “But I guess you saw that one coming a mile away.”

“I’m not sure.” Imani sends me a quizzical look. “I’m not a fan of big family gatherings. And Nora, I didn’t think that would be your thing either.”

“Nora’s in luuurve,” Juan says. “She just wants to spend time with her lady.”

“It’s not my thing,” I confirm. “But Jay’s right.” I let my head fall onto my shoulders. “Argh. I am in love.” I huff out some air. “I don’t have a fucking clue what’s happening to me anymore.”

“I’m so proud of you, girl.” Juan suddenly sounds very solemn. “For letting this happen. I know that’s not really your thing, either.”

“It’s Mimi.” Even just talking about Mimi makes me feel all funny inside. “There’s something about her I can’t resist.”

Imani peers at me, head tipped.

“Yes?” I ask, because I know that look.

“It’s not exactly rocket science,” Imani says. “I’m not judging.” She brings her hand to her chest. “We all have some serious mommy issues, and Mimi happens to be this absolutely amazing mother. Subconsciously, you’re drawn to that aspect of her.”

“Objection!” Juan shouts. “That’s my mother-in-law you’re talking about.”

“So?” Imani nods at Juan. “Don’t tell me that Austin’s big, happy family isn’t part of it for you as well.”

“I honestly don’t care,” Juan says. “I’m just baffled that I’m still so crazy about him. That his family’s so welcoming and wonderful is a big plus, sure, but that’s not why I’m in love with Austin.” He pauses. “I’m just saying that there’s no need to analyze why Nora feels this way,” Juan continues. “Why can’t we just be happy for her?”

“Oh, but I am.” Imani looks at me. “Nora, you know I am. I’m over the moon for both of you. But a little extra insight never hurt anyone.”

I nod, but don’t say anything. Maybe Imani’s right, but Juan’s right as well. What does it even matter? I haven’t felt like this in such a long time, it might even be too risky to analyze it—although analyzing, in the greatest possible detail, why things happen a certain way is one of my favorite pastimes. But I can’t apply the same process to my relationship with Mimi. I don’t want to pick it apart and assign subconscious feelings to it. I just want to enjoy being with her—and who I am when I’m with her. I quite like that version of me.

“Maybe we should just go. Just do it, without spending an evening debating it,” I offer, surprising myself once again.

“Damn, girl,” Imani says. “You’ve got it bad.”

“Yeah.” I glance at the chair in the corner of the yard where, earlier this week, Mimi made me come so hard so swiftly, I believed I had become someone else altogether.

CHAPTER30

MIMI

The basket of bread I’m holding trembles in my hand. I make sure not to put it too close to where Nora’s sitting—it’s like she’s allergic to it.

Thanksgiving is next week and we have to tell the girls today. I’m surprised Nora agreed to be here for this, but come to think of it, she hasn’t ceased to surprise me since we met. The past few weeks have been like a dream. Thanksgiving or not, I want all my children to know about us. The risk of some major freaking out is high, but that’s why I thought it would be a good idea for Nora to be present. They’re all on the edge of freaking out already around her. And they might be more inclined to believe me if Nora can confirm our relationship to their faces.

“Okay.” I stand behind my chair, hands gripping the back. Why am I so nervous? Telling Austin wasn’t this stressful. Maybe because Nora and I have moved to the next stage. Informing Austin had more to do with him being Juan’s boyfriend whereas this is really telling my family. I wonder if Nora’s family even knows that I exist. She must talk to them sometimes. “I have some news.” I glance at my kids and their partners. “Wehave some news.” I put a hand on Nora’s shoulder. She shifts in her seat. “Nora and I, we, um, we’ve been seeing each other.”

“Rub it in, Mom,” Heather says.

“Shut up, Heather,” Jennifer shouts over her. “Let Mom talk.”

“Youreallywant to let her talk,” Austin butts in. I wish he would wipe that smirk off his face, but of course he’s going to feel smug about being the first to know.

“What do you mean?” Lauren turns to her brother. “What do you know that we don’t?” She heaves a sigh worthy of the most obnoxious teenager, then looks at me. Her gaze rests on my hand squeezing Nora’s shoulder. “Oh. No.” She shakes her head.

“What?” Heather looks at her sister, then at me.

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