Page 64 of The Love We Make

“I choose to be reachable to my kids all the time.”

All the time? Aren’t they adults? “Sure.” Mimi’s family is so picture-perfect and wonderful, who am I to comment on how she runs it?

“Don’t worry.” Mimi presses her body against mine. “I’ll have you back where you were before in no time.”

Mimi kisses me again but the magic of how she arrived here and nuzzled my neck and made me forget about myself, made me want the same thing as her, has evaporated. I’m too much in my head to enjoy it to the same extent as I did before, to go with the flow she was suggesting, follow the pace she was setting.

“I’m sorry,” I say, because I really am. Because this is where my neurotic side is about to take over. “It pulled me out and… I need some time.”

“That’s totally okay.”

“I shouldn’t have assumed you could just spend the weekend.” I don’t even want to spend the weekend with Mimi. I need some time on my own to recharge before Monday.

“I have a car. I can go places and come back.” Mimi straightens her clothes. She does have a way of putting things that makes what I say sound pretty ridiculous.

I button up my jeans and try to close my bra, but my fingers feel too clumsy, and I can’t be bothered anymore. Suddenly, I feel deflated more than anything else.

“Do you need some help?” she asks.

“No, Mimi.” I walk to a chair and sink into it. “I’m sorry. I’m really tired and…”Don’t say it. “Maybe this was a mistake.”

“What’s a mistake?” Mimi asks. “I don’t know what you mean.”

What must I look like to her? Moments ago, she was all over me. Her fingers were about to dip into my panties. And now I’ve gone all hot-and-cold on her again. How can I pull myself together quickly?

“There will be a lot of times when you don’t know what I mean.” I can’t get a grip on myself.

“Nora.” Her tone’s suddenly clipped. “What’s going on? We were having a good time, weren’t we? Or did I read that so wrong?”

“No. We were, but… I shouldn’t have invited you tonight. I’m so tired. Exhausted, really. I don’t have the kind of energy you have. I need to rest.”

She pulls her chair close to mine, our knees almost touching. “How about that movie, then?” She puts her hands on my knees. “Because I’m not going anywhere.”

“Yeah. Okay.” Am I fucking this up already? Just like that? I look into Mimi’s patient face. I’m not like you, I want to say, but I don’t, because it serves no purpose—and I’m sure she knows by now. I don’t know how to do this. To let someone in and just be me. I’ve never known. If it’s supposed to come naturally—which is what Jay and Imani would have me believe—then why is it so damn hard?

I take her into my home theater and we watch Faye Fleming and Ida Burton fall in love on the big screen. Their chemistry is out of this world and this movie,A New Day, is my favorite for a reason. It always makes me feel at least ten percent better, no matter how hard my day has been.

CHAPTER28

MIMI

After waking up together on Saturday, Nora and I agreed to spend the rest of the weekend apart until Sunday evening. As usual, I have my children over for a long, luxurious brunch on Sunday. I can only hope that Austin hasn’t told his sisters, because I’m beginning to see why Nora doesn’t do relationships. It’s like she doesn’t have a clue what they are and how they work. I can tell she has feelings for me, though, and for now, it’s enough. For now, I can work with whatever she has to give me.

“Hey, Mama.” Austin hugs me tightly. “Look who I brought.”

“Hey, Mama,” Juan echoes, and he’s so charming, I let him get away with it. “What an absolute pleasure to see you again.” He pecks me on the cheek—unlike most of Austin’s friends who prefer air kisses over real ones.

“Don’t worry,” Austin whispers in my ear. “I haven’t told the girls.”

“Good for you, babe.” Juan blows Austin a kiss, then turns to me. “Between us, he’s been insufferable since he’s known. Like Nora’s in love with him instead of you.”

Nora’s in love with me? She certainly hasn’t told me that, or maybe she just didn’t say it with words. There was a moment on Friday night, when I genuinely thought she would ask me to leave. If she’d actually asked, I would have, of course, although I’d like to believe she wanted me to stay. One thing’s for sure. This isn’t going to be a whirlwind romance. That’s not an option with Nora Levine.

The rest of the family arrives, and whenever Nora comes up, as she does in my family—especially after last week’s pool party—Austin shoots me a look. If he keeps that up, the girls will find out in no time. They’re not stupid. Luckily, they’re not that observant either. Heather and Lauren’s main focus is on their kids and Jennifer has always been more focused on herself than anyone else. They also have no reason to suspect that their mother would be romantically involved with Nora Levine.

When I get a moment alone with Juan, I can’t help but ask him. “Have you spoken to Nora this weekend?”

“I speak to Nora every day.” He quickly wipes the grin off his face. “I know your movie night didn’t really go as planned. Nora told me she freaked out.”

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