Page 40 of The Love We Make

“Whatever plans my kids already have for this weekend, consider them canceled.” Mimi’s smile has reached her eyes. “Thank you so much. Nothing makes me happier than seeing my kids happy, no matter how silly they’re behaving.”

* * *

“What am I doing?” I complain to Juan. “Have I lost my mind completely?”

“You might have.” He gives me a once-over. “This is very un-Nora-like behavior. First you try to kiss Mimi and now you’ve invited her entire family over for a pool party. At your own house.” He peers into my eyes. “Has the real Nora Levine been abducted by aliens, and are you an imposter?”

“I think she might have been. I don’t know who I am, anymore.” Although I was very much myself when I was talking to Mimi last night, explaining in my very stunted ways, that I don’t do relationships.

“You know I’m always up for a party, and it kind of feels like my family is going to hang out with my boyfriend’s family,” Juan holds out his hand. “But let’s break this down, darling. Let me analyze this for you.” I put my hand in his. “You told Mimi you’re attracted to her, but that you’re not interested in her, after which you proceeded to invite her family to a party at your house. Talk about some serious mixed messaging.”

“Argh. I know.”

“Could it be”—Juan gently rubs his thumb over my wrist—“that you’re simply scared? That you are interested in pursuing something with Mimi, but you feel it’s not true to yourself. To whom you’ve become.”

“Jay.” I try to pull my hand away, but he doesn’t let me. “She thinks she likes me, but… she can’t really like me. She’s still dazzled by my name and what it stands for.”

“It’s so insulting to me when you call yourself unlikeable when I’ve been your best friend for two decades. If you’re as unlikeable as you always claim to be, what does that make me? Some stupid star-crazy fool?”

“You’re an exception. So is Imani.”

“So what you’re saying is that Imani and I are the only two people in the world who can like the real Nora Levine? I know you don’t believe in therapy, girl, but you should really reconsider.”

“That’s not what I was trying to say.”

“Uh-hum.” Juan drums his fingertips on the palm of my hand. “Sure, darling.”

“What I’m really trying to say is that my reasons for wanting to be single haven’t changed.”

“Sounds to me as though they have and, for the record, that’s completely okay. As I’ve said a thousand times before, it’s okay to change your mind. It’s okay to be attracted to another human. In fact, it’s very human, and in case you’ve forgotten you’re human too, Nora.”

“I don’t need a therapist as long as I have you.” I’ve had enough of this now.

“True. By the way, I decided not to inform Austin that you tried to kiss his mother.”

“You didn’t tell him?”

Juan shakes his head. “I’m not going to tell him anything about that until something… more happens. Until there’s actually something to tell.”

“Thanks, Jay. I appreciate that.”

“I did it for Austin most of all. Imagine him finding out his own mother is fooling around with Nora Levine.” He puffs up his cheeks. “His mind would be too blown.”

Did he just say ‘until something more happens’? When I first met Juan, I had a few tries at a relationship, but it never amounted to anything.High Lifehad properly screwed me up by then. Twenty years down the line—twenty years of being a recluse and trying to find my real self again—nothing much has changed. But still, when he puts it like that, a part of me wants to find out what the ‘more’ in what he just said could be. If it could be delightful instead of mortifying. Thrilling instead of terrifying. Wonderful instead of doomed from the very start.

CHAPTER18

MIMI

Jennifer in particular is glued to Nora’s side. She doesn’t have a significant other to pay attention to or children to keep an eye on—although both Heather and Lauren are doing a good job of ignoring their husbands in favor of Nora as well.

Bobby and Gus have taken up residence by the grill, where Nora’s chef is preparing tasteful bite after tasteful bite—and a non-stop buffet of sliders for the kids.

Imani is in the pool with Wyatt and Lucas, teaching them some sort of complicated somersault dive.

“I’ll never forget you did this for us, Mom.” Heather has sidled up to me. She even puts her arm around me. I’d expect this kind of gratitude after babysitting her boys for a full weekend and giving her some much-needed time off. But to them, Nora is so special, this is the treat of a lifetime.

Apparently, Juan didn’t tell Austin about Nora trying to kiss me last weekend, so he’s none the wiser, which is for the best.

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