Page 38 of The Love We Make

“Yes,” she blurts out. “Because I like you. A lot. But I would never do anything like that when I’m not tipsy. Like right now, fully sober, I’d never pull a stunt like that. Because of how I am and because of what I want in life. But I understand that it’s confusing for you, Mimi. I really do. For that, I am really sorry, even though you’ll probably tell me that no apologies are necessary.”

“So, what is it that you want in life exactly?”

With every time I make her repeat things, I hope she’ll reveal a bit more valuable information to me.

“I don’t want a relationship.” Nora shakes her head vehemently. “But… I am attracted to you.”

Right. That’s the rest of my conversation strategy successfully torpedoed. Nora Levine is attracted to me. My body can’t help but react. Heat washes over me. Because, damn, if I’m not very much attracted to her in return. But, as it stands, there’s not much I can do about it. I also don’t know how to respond to that.

“Oh, Nora,” I say on a sigh. “Just so we’re clear, I’m attracted to you as well. It’s only fair that you know that.”

“I don’t do one-night stands either,” Nora blurts out. “God, sorry. I’m not saying that’s what—Argh. Fuck.”

This situation is completely different than trying to get a child to confess a minor sin to their parent. It couldn’t be more different. I have skin in this game, too. And Nora is an adult woman with some serious issues.

“It’s okay. It’s all good.” I should have broached the subject in a less direct manner, perhaps. But I truly believed I could be direct with Nora—that she would appreciate it.

“I’m not good with emotions either, so now you know why I’m the worst relationship material you’ll ever meet.”

Poor Nora. Is this really how she feels about herself? I have to stop myself from going to her, from wrapping my arms around her and making sure she knows she doesn’t owe me anything—that being friends with her is more than enough, if that’s the boundary she’s setting.

“That’s why I became an actor. Everything I have to say is written out for me, and so is everything my character has to feel. It’s the perfect job for me.”

“You’re damn good at it.” Time for me to bottle my own feelings. I might be looking, but I’m not looking to persuade anyone into something they don’t want—no matter what Nora’s reasons are for not wanting a relationship, I have to respect them.

“Yeah.” Her voice breaks. She looks at the floor, where her dogs are gathered at her feet—and my heart breaks a little for her. But it’s not for me to jump to any conclusions, despite it being very tempting. I can only let Nora be who she wants to be. It’s not up to me to try and change her—or her views about herself.

“As I said before, we can be friends.” I try to keep my voice level. It’s not so much sadness for myself I feel—although part of me was hoping to have this conversation go in the opposite direction—but for Nora.

“That would be nice.” She reaches down and scoops up Izzy. She holds her dog close to her chest. “Although Juan said we can’t just add his boyfriend’s mother to the entourage.”

“Entourage, huh?” I send her my warmest smile.

“I get it if you want to leave now that things have become awkward.”

“What kind of friend would that make me?” I try to look into her eyes, but Nora keeps glancing away. “Unless you want me to leave.”

Nora shakes her head. “I would like it very much if you stayed a while.”

CHAPTER17

NORA

I royally fucked everything up again, Nora-Levine style. I shouldn’t have allowed Mimi to get under my skin, but how do you stop something like that? I haven’t met anyone who makes me feel the way she does in such a long time, it seems I’ve forgotten how to protect myself. Now, here we sit, in the sort of dreadful silence that makes me doubt everything about myself and my life. But I asked her to stay. I might have only drunk water, but I’m not sure I have full use of all my faculties. Mimi’s so sweet and such a good sport—no wonder I’m so drawn to her.

“Of course, I’ll stay,” Mimi says. “And I won’t consider myself a member of your entourage just yet.”

I chuckle and bury my face in Izzy’s fur for a moment, before putting her down next to her sister again.

“Speaking of,” Mimi continues. “Juan regaled me and the girls with the story of how he met you.”

“At the LGBT Center?” I smile at the memory. “You should have seen Jay back then. Despite his history, he was full of bravado already. He changed my life, you know, that guy. He’s the closest to having a husband I’ll ever come.” What a strange thing to say to the mother of the man Juan is actually dating. “I mean, um, we’ve never, obviously. He’s not interested in me that way, and vice versa.”

“I get it,” Mimi says. “What about Imani?”

With all the verbal mishaps I’ve had with Mimi, she’s never made me feel bad for any of them. She just moves on as if it’s a normal conversation, as if I’m as fluent in the art of chitchat as anyone else.

“Juan met Imani at the Center, not long after we met. I think he saw a lot of himself, of his own story, in hers. Shared parental rejection makes for a strong bond. He introduced us and it’s been the three of us ever since.” I stretch out my legs, relaxing a little. It’s always easier to talk about other people than about myself. “It’s not all been hunky-dory. All three of us have come a long way, but here we are. On the other side of a lot of bullshit, and ready for whatever else life will throw at us. I know, for an absolute fact, they will always be there for me. That all three of us will always be there for each other, no matter what. Their friendship is the best part of my life. It’s the most precious thing to me.” I’m about to well up. Juan and Imani are that special to me.

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