Page 23 of The Love We Make

“Single?” Heather asks.

“Self-partnered,” Jennifer and Lauren say in unison.

“She hasn’t been with anyone since you met her? When was this?” Heather asks.

“Twenty years ago. During the last season ofHigh Life.” Juan expels some air. “Anything else you want to know is not for me to say. Sorry, darlings.”

* * *

Lauren and Gus have left early with Lily and Jennifer and Heather are chattering away. Austin is looking for an old lamp in the garage, leaving me alone with Juan.

“Please, Mimi, sit. I’ll take care of the dishes. Lord knows I’ve done enough of them in my time.” He moves graciously behind the kitchen island. “Do you have a particular system of dishwasher stacking I need to adhere to?”

I shake my head. “Do as you please, Juan. Thank you.” This man does not look as though he cares one iota about the position of crockery in a dishwasher, but looks can be deceiving.

“As I please? Are you sure about that?” He flashes me one of his smiles. It’s hard to say who was luckier when Juan met Nora. Maybe they both got lucky that day. But I mustn’t get too attached to him. He might be out of all of our lives sooner rather than later, and it’s completely out of my control.

What I can do is luxuriate in the sensation of liking my son’s new boyfriend—it hasn’t always been an easy feat. But Juan makes it incredibly easy.

“That was quite the story you told earlier. About meeting Nora.” Surely, some of it was dramatized, fictionalized even, for effect.

“Every word of it true,” Juan says, as though he can read my mind. “The other day, we were talking about chosen family versus blood family. I might no longer exist for my blood family, but I sure got lucky with my chosen family. Nora has been so amazing. In the beginning, it was almost like she wanted to mother me. Like she saw that need in me that I didn’t even know I had, or didn’t want to believe I had, after my own mother kicked me out of her house.” He stops what he’s doing and plants his hands on the kitchen counter. “You have no idea what it means to me for you to welcome me into your home like this, Mimi.” Did his voice just break a little? “Your family… it’s like this perfect fantasy family.”

Maybe Austin hasn’t given his boyfriend all the particulars of his parents’ marriage.

“No family’s perfect.”

“True. Perfect’s not the right word for it. But there’s an abundance of love and acceptance and warmth here. That’s all you need, really.” He inhales sharply. “Nora, Imani, and I are all such misfits when it comes to our own families. We never really fitted anywhere, except with each other.” I wonder how Imani became part of their gang of three, but that’s a question for another day. “But hey, it just goes to show that you don’t need a dream childhood to have a fabulous life when you’re older.” He clears his throat. “I mean, adult. Notold, obviously.” He shoots me a wink.

“Obviously.” At least Juan’s a good deal younger than me and Austin’s father. Would I prefer my son to bring home a man in his twenties once in a while? Sure. But again, it’s not up to me. And who am I to have any say about my children’s—or anyone else’s, for that matter—love life? We all have our own reasons for making the choices we make. “I’m sorry about your family.” That reminds me Nora said she’s not close to her parents either.

“Not everyone can handle this level of fab.” Juan sounds as though he means every word of it. As though, over the years, he has steeled himself against any mention of his family.

“I assure you that I can.” I have to smile when I look at him. “And you’re always welcome here.”

“I’ll wait a little while before I start calling you mom.” Juan’s chuckle is infectious and when Austin walks back into the kitchen, his boyfriend and I are both giggling like schoolgirls.

CHAPTER11

NORA

When my phone rings, I scold myself for the inexplicable oversight of not having diverted Michelle St James’ calls yet. Does she really think she has a direct line to me for the rest of her life? I’m in two minds about picking up. On set, I like to keep my focus as much as possible, and I haven’t really spoken to Mimi. I remind myself that I like her, and that Juan now, apparently, is as crazy about her as he is about his new boyfriend. Fuck it. I pick up.

“Hi, Nora. I’m so glad I caught you,” Mimi says. “It’s rare to be able to call someone like you directly. I usually have to go through a plethora of agents and managers and assistants.”

“Yeah.” It’s been a few weeks since we had dinner. How did I miss diverting her number? It’s unlike me. Maybe it’s a subconscious thing.

“I’m having Stella and Kate over for dinner on Saturday and I was wondering if you’d like to join us.”

As usual, as soon as I get an invitation for a social event, everything inside me screams no, no, no. I don’t want to go. But my more rational side knows I need to have some interaction with the people I work with outside of work. I can’t shut myself off completely. Sometimes, I even have fun. I would even catalogue my dinner at Mimi’s under the fun events.

“Feel free to bring your posse,” Mimi says when I don’t immediately reply.

“Juan’s no longer free on Saturdays.”

“He and Austin are going away this weekend. Stella’s family has this cabin in Topanga.”

“I know,” I say matter-of-factly. “Can you imagine Juan and Austin hiking through the canyon together?”

---