Page 29 of Duplicity

They weren’t equals or in competition, but one day, she hoped to find her shooter.

Then she might be able to think the same about herself.

TWELVE

Simon blinked awake, aware he was not alone.

Sunlight lit the floor in front of him, and his legs stretched out in front of the armchairs where he and Cat had talked long into the night. In the end, they’d been laughing and cracking jokes like old friends. Even with how the evening had started, it still ended well.

He looked over at the other chair, expecting to see Cat, but he blinked in surprise. It was his twin. “Pete.”

Peter just sat there, watching him. If it was anyone else, he’d have been creeped out. But his twin had always been there with him in a way. Even when he was alone.

What had Peter thought of the time he’d been gone for a whole week? The shared emotions they sometimes experienced often left them overwhelmed. Had he told anyone that Simon might be in trouble? If so, then it hadn’t amounted to anything. But Peter had to have felt something while Simon had been scared. Hurt.

When Simon had shown up back at home, Freya hadn’t been happy with the fact he’d been missing. She hadn’t gone to the police, though. Their father had barely noticed enough to care, and neither of them had pressed it with him. Until he told herhe got sick, then she’d dropped the anger. Peter had given him a hug and said nothing.

Until now?

They didn’t need to change how they were. It was the only thing in Simon’s life he’d ever actually counted on, the fact he could rely on Peter. Though, he had to learn how to trust what he had with Vanguard. Slowly.

Simon shifted in the seat and looked out the window. The mountains looked better at night, like they had a bigger scale—more majestic somehow—but it was still a great view. Green landscape, trees, and jagged peaks. As if Catalina’s backyard stretched for hundreds of miles.

This was a great place to sit.

She’d talked him down last night, brought him out of the fog he’d been in and settled him in a way no one else ever had. He could love her for that alone, but there was a whole lot more to her, and every layer she peeled back intrigued him further.

That didn’t mean Simon was going to ask her to carry it all just so he could have what he wanted. It was too high of a price to ask her to pay for him to have the kind of relationship he’d always looked for. Never found. Thought he’d had but was sorely mistaken.

Now that he’d found a woman who could absolutely be “the one” for him, he couldn’t ask her to share the load of baggage he hauled around.

Peter would tell him he should give it to God. Simon had avoided that entire subject for years.

“She believes.” Peter would know what he meant. He always did, not like telepathy or anything. More like they were on the same wavelength. Same pattern of thinking. “You know I’ve been avoiding God.”

Peter grunted. “Running as hard as you can in the opposite direction, trying to pretend you don’t know the truth.”

“Deep down. I know I can’t deny it. That isn’t it.” Simon shifted on the chair. Someone had removed his shoes at some point, but he didn’t know if it was Cat or Pete. “What time is it?”

“Just after five thirty.”

And already so bright outside? “Did she let you in?”

Peter shook his head. As always, Simon saw shadows of their mother in his features. Or maybe Peter’s presence simply made him remember. Good and bad. Ugly. Scars.

Her smile. The way she looked at him, as if he was special. All of it got mixed up in his head, like God’s goodness and His wrath. The way their father twisted the Scriptures for his own ends, and there had been no objecting or questioning it without repercussions.

Some part of who God was felt a lot like that same authoritarian figure who had ruled them. And Simon had to contend with it. He had to wrestle God and find out what he needed to learn at the end.

“Probably feels like a train coming at you.”

Simon asked, “You think I should admit defeat and surrender?”

“You don’t quit or surrender. That’s not how it works. Youyield. To a better way than the path you’ve been on.”

“You aren’t going to let this go, are you?”

Peter made a huffing sound and only stared at him.

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