Page 50 of Fallout

“You have to put the scalpel down, Mom.” He could see the scars on her arms from the last time, and the time before that. “Nobody needs to get hurt.”

“I’m already hurt!”

He winced. “I haven’t forgotten.”

“But you don’t care! I nearly died, Caleb.”

A lump rose in Jasper’s throat. Behind her, he spotted a couple of orderlies from the psych ward. The one she wasn’t supposed to have walked out of. She should have never reached the ER. Someone must have told her that he’d been hurt.

Still, her fractured mind believed him to be both Caleb and Jasper.

“You’re here, and so am I. Both of us can work together to figure this out.” He took another step toward her. “We can do it together, Mom.”

The orderly behind her raised a needle. They wanted to give her a drug that would knock her out so she didn’t hurt herself or anyone else.

He nodded, just slightly. “It’s gonna be okay. But you must put the scalpel down.”

Her eyes darted around, not really focusing. He could clearly remember times when she’d been lucid. When his mom had played with them or taken them to the park. A few years ago, during a good period, she’d started social programs and been on committees. Jasper never knew she had a drug problem. Around his fifteenth birthday, one wrong pill, cut with something dangerous, caused her mental functioning to change forever.

It was a miracle they’d been able to keep it out of the public eye, though plenty of people knew she was a recluse. Or some kind of kept woman. Not many people chose to look past their own opinions or conclusions.

The orderly wound an arm around her from behind. Jasper grasped her wrist, forcing her to drop the blade. She screamed. The needle was plunged into her neck. It took a few seconds, usually. At least they accounted for her shoulder injury.

“Thanks.” He wanted to do this. “I’ve got her.”

He lifted his mom into his arms and walked down the hall. Maybe it was so he could be the one who carried her back to her hospital bed, where she could get the care she needed. Or maybe it was so he didn’t have to turn around and see all his friends behind him.

People he considered family. Even though they’d only just found out about Caleb.

It wasn’t like he talked about his personal life all that much.

He and his father had learned to keep it tight and not let a lot of people in on the truth. The media had frenzied around Caleb’s treatment, publicizing the failure of the doctors. Even though no one could’ve controlled the outcome. Not everyone who had leukemia survived. If he could understand why God allowed it to happen that way, he might be a step closer to thinking about faith in Him. Now that he knew the truth of what happened to Destiny?

It seemed like God didn’t do much to help folks that trusted in Him.

Caleb had prayed.

He still died.

At least his brother was in heaven. If Jasper wanted to see him again, he’d have to make sure he went there as well. But there was still too much he couldn’t reconcile. So much that it felt like a war constantly raging in his chest. The only thing that stilled the chaos was Destiny, but she didn’t need the weight of being his anchor.

Jasper laid his mother on the bed, and her head lolled to the side. He brushed hair off her face.

“Listen, I’m sorry?—”

He straightened, glancing through the resident doctor. “I don’t wanna hear it. I want you to take care of her, not make excuses.”

He sounded like an uppity rich guy, but the reality was that his mom could’ve easily hurt herself or someone else.

One day, she would. And he might not find her before it was too late. Or he might give in to the worst part of himself and believe it was better if he did nothing.

If he just let her go.

He walked out before the doctor—who was younger than him—could say anything else. His phone rang, but he silenced it through the material of his pocket, not even looking to see who was calling. It felt like his entire life had crashed, like multiple planes colliding in midair. He’d seen that tragic spectacle at an air show decades ago. One of his dad’s attempts to distract both of them from Caleb being gone and his mother being in the hospital again.

Thankfully, no one had died. The pilots had all ejected in time. Still, watching it happen in front of him had been harrowing.

Not all that different from how it had felt to hear Destiny was a captive of dangerous men.

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