Page 35 of Love and Other Paradoxes

New rehearsal space?

She didn’t reply. Not that day, not the next day, not the day after that. He was still forlornly checking his phone as he sat in the vaulted cellars of Clare College bar, waiting to escort Esi back from her African Caribbean Society meeting. She’d jokingly invited him along—might be good for you, standing out for a change—but they’d agreed it was probably best if he met up with her afterwards.

As the meeting broke up and the ACS members started to drift into the bar, he saw her, laughing easily in the midst of a group, her braids pinned up in a way that accentuated her cheekbones. She had swapped her usual sweater and leggings for a patternedblack-and-white dress that looked like stark shadows in sunlight. It was like seeing a different person. He couldn’t take his eyes off her as she excused herself and came to sit on the bench next to him.

“How did it go?” he asked.

She slumped, laying her head briefly on his shoulder. He felt a wave of electricity run through him. “No joy?” he said with forced calm.

“She wasn’t there, and I didn’t hear anyone mention her. Was fun when I asked if the society gives out awards, though. They thought that was hilarious.” She looked over at the group she’d come in with, huddled by the jukebox arguing over song choices. “Hard to remember they’re all my dad’s age in the future.” As the opening riff of “Kiss” by Prince echoed through the bar, she rolled her eyes. “Okay, maybe it’s not that hard.”

He touched the badge on her shoulder bag. “You didn’t think about introducing them to The Swerves?”

She choked on a laugh. “Oh yeah. I should have just got out the—the recording disk, and put it on the megaphone.”

“Gramophone? Come on. We have CDs, you know.”

“Sounds painful.” Her eyes went distant, her lips and shoulders moving minutely to the music, as if she couldn’t help it. “This is, like, my dad’s party anthem.”

The joy in her voice was infectious. “He throws a good party?”

“The best.” Her face lit up. “Everyone comes round to our house—my aunties, my uncles, cousins, neighbours, friends—and we just eat and talk and laugh and dance together, all night. Till morning, sometimes.”

He looked over his shoulder, where the ACS meeting was turning into a free-flowing gathering, drawing in other students from across the bar. “Looks like some of them might be up for that.”

He caught a flash of longing in her eyes, but she shook her head. “Too late. I blew my cover. Someone asked me what I’m studying.” She looked seriously at him. “Did you know, time science is apparently ‘not even a subject’?”

“Says who?”

“Some guy Adewale who seemed personally offended by the idea.” She drew in a long breath. “I should’ve known this society thing wouldn’t work out. I mean, Mum was an only child of Ghanaian immigrants. She felt so much pressure to do well here. Even if she’d been interested in anything outside of her studies, it’s not like she’d have had the time.”

“Don’t give up yet. We’ll keep trying. And we can search more colleges too. She’s got to be at one of them.” He felt strangely reluctant to change the subject, but he had no choice. “In the meantime, we should talk about Diana. There’s been... a development.”

She sat up, her face filling with dread. “What did you do this time?”

“I tried asking her out. Like you said.”

“And?”

“And... she kicked me out and basically told me not to come back.”

Esi’s head sank into her hands. “Tell me what happened. And I mean everything. What you said, what she said, how she looked—I need all of it.”

He told her. She listened, silent and serious, her chin resting in her palm. Her dress fell off one shoulder, drawing his eye to the curve of her neck.

“Joseph Greene.” She clicked her fingers. “Are you done? You just, like—tailed off midsentence.”

He blinked. “Oh. Uh—that was it.”

She no longer looked existentially terrified, which he took as a good sign. “Okay. So. There’s a chance you haven’t fucked this up completely.”

“Really?”

“You said you’d like to know her better. She answered by reminding you she has a boyfriend. That means she was already thinking of you romantically. And it sounds like she wasn’t completely against the idea, until you talked about her and Crispin being happy.”

“Fuck.” He ground his knuckles into his forehead. “I knew that was going too far.”

“No, no, it’s good! It tells us a lot that she reacted that way. It means she’snothappy with him, and sheisinterested in you on some level, even if she can’t admit it yet.”

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