Page 29 of Wild Obsession

Jacob huffs at me.

“What?” I say. “This is the break we’ve been waiting for, Jacob. It’s the best shot we’ve ever gotten at doing this for real. It isn’t going to mean shit if we’re just some bigger band’s opening number, though.”

“That’s not how this works.”

“Isn’t it?”

Jacob shakes his head. “No. We built this on our own. We’re more than an opening number. Management put us on this tour because we could bring our own fans. We’re helping them as much as they’re helping us.”

I scoff, a harsh, bitter sound, but I’ve never gotten totake the easy road in life. Not in high school, not after, not now. Why would I believe a band like The Ten Hours would hand us the fame and fans we need to get off the ground? No shot. If we don’t wrench it out of their hands by force, it isn’t happening.

“We need to outplay them,” I say. “We need to make sure that at every single stop, we leave as the better band. That’s the only way people are going to remember us.”

Jacob faces me instead of the store and all its cheap junk. Shoppers filter past us, strolling along the red brick of the harbor as the night deepens. The lights of the city spill across the water like streaks of face paint. It brings back memories of strolling along the waterside with my parents before they wanted nothing to do with me anymore, when I didn’t have to fight for every single crumb I have. Life has finally given me a break; my dream of going big with my bad lies so close my fingertips brush the edges of the fantasy. But one bad performance and The Ten Hours will be all people remember about this tour. I’m not willing to let that happen.

Jacob’s earnest brown eyes, the eyes that are going to crush so many teenage hearts when we’re famous, focus intently on me.

“This isn’t a competition,” he says. “We aren’t here to outshine them, and they aren’t here to outshine us. When one of us has a good show, it’s good for both of us. We’re in this together, at least for the duration of the tour.”

“That’s very sunshine and roses of you, but—”

“It’s not sunshine and roses,” Jacob cuts in, uncharacteristically hard.

He might boom onstage, but off it, he’s the sweetest guy you’ll ever meet. Not right now, however. Even those soft eyes of his sharpen.

“I’m not some idealistic fool trying to hold hands and braid the other guys’ hair,” he says. “I’m serious. We’re artists. We aren’t products. There is enough space for both of us. If those crowds only cared about The Ten Hours, we wouldn’t be selling out. Erin wouldn’t have had to turn down additional tour dates. They’re showing up for us, too. Haven’t you seen the merch? The T-shirt with both bands on it is the best seller out of the whole bunch.”

I scowl, but don’t retort. For once, I don’t have some snappy, bitter comeback.

“I didn’t know that about the shirt,” I grumble.

“Yeah, I know. You can only see other bands as competition, but that’s simply not the case here. We’re doing a combined show. They’re our allies, not our enemies.”

My scowl deepens. The last thing I want is to have to consider The Ten Hours something other than rivals. That would make what I’ve been doing to Tim all kinds of messed up. I’ve gone out there every night aiming to out-drum him, then I’ve slipped backstage to mess with his head in the hopes of throwing him off his game. It sounded likethe perfect way to get revenge on the guy, at least until now.

What if revenge won’t get me what I need though? Can I really call that night on the tour bus an act of revenge? I was frustrated and angry. I wanted to feel better. I asked to meet up with him because I knew touching him would satisfy something inside me, that it would calm this bitter, burning edge of rage that’s roared within me for so many years.

I’m still debating when Jacob declares our adventure over and summons a rideshare. We weave through the foot traffic to meet up with the driver away from the bustle of the harbor. I barely notice the crowd any longer though. Jacob’s words left me more off-balance than he can possibly realize. They pulled back the curtain on my self-deception, forcing me to face a reality in which I don’t want to punish Tim for what he did; I simply want him.

There’s no way that can work. I’ve never wanted anyone, not for more than a night. I don’t do soft. I’ve never had the option to do soft. Life has demanded a brute force approach, and I’ve been happy to oblige. It’s kept me safe, protected me from all the ways people like my parents wanted to hurt me. The absolute last person who should be tearing down that defensive wall is the guy who helped lay some of the foundational bricks.

Jacob lets me sit in the rideshare and sulk in silence the entire way back to our hotel. I really hope everyone is outdoing tourist things tonight. I want nothing more than to go back to my room and brood alone. I’m sharing with Levi again, and he’s a pretty good roommate, all things considered. Still, even that laid back stoner of a bassist is more human interaction than I’m looking for with my head all messed up.

We reach the hotel and head for the lobby, but something stops me in my tracks before the lights can swallow me up. A figure stands off to the side, pacing in tight circles and talking on his phone. When he comes close enough for the light to hit him, my chest tightens at the sight of soft brown hair and a smattering of freckles.

“Something wrong?” Jacob asks.

“No,” I say quickly. “No. It’s fine. Go ahead of me.”

Jacob regards me for a moment, but I don’t really care what he’s assuming. Everyone knows Tim and I know each other. If they’ve put together the rest, that’s their problem, not mine.

Jacob goes on ahead after a beat of hesitation, and I slip off into the dark. Tim is beside the main doors, pacing on a sidewalk. A highly manicured garden with trees and scrubby bushes stands between him and the parking lot. I duck beneath those bushes, hoping he’s too distracted to have noticed my arrival.

I wait, hardly breathing as I crouch below the bushes, but he doesn’t call out. If I strain my ears, I can barely pick up what he’s saying. As his voice rises, I listen closer.

Chapter Fifteen

Tim

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