Page 32 of Stray for You

I slam my mouth against his. He moans pitifully, sweetly, pathetically, then adds to the filth in the tub.

We sit there panting for a moment, but only a moment. We get out of the tub quickly thanks to what we just did to it, but even as we towel off, this feels like a dream, like a hazy, half-forgotten memory. There’s no way this past week has been real.

We dry off and get dressed, then Julian announces that it’s time.

“I’ll walk you downstairs,” he says. “My taxi is waiting.”

“Sure.”

I feel like I should say more, but nothing else comes to mind. When we reach the lobby, we stare at each other, feet shuffling, but I don’t kiss him goodbye. I don’t even hug him. Whatever happened between us this week belongs to hotel rooms andunderground tours. It has no business in the light.

We stand on the curb for a beat longer than we should, and Julian says, “Stay in touch.”

That isn’t as ridiculous a notion as it once was. I nod. “Sure. You too.”

It’s not goodbye, but it sure feels like it.

Chapter Sixteen

Julian

FOR ONCE, I’M NOT the conquering hero. I slouch in my seat as the stewardess rattles off the usual airline safety instructions. No one listens, and I’m the only one even looking at her, though her words wash over me.

Mere hours ago, I was in that tub with Cameron. I was touching him, and he was responding. It’s such a delightful memory I can’t help but wonder if it was a dream. Not only did I have him last night, but he gave me one final taste in the morning. I could have touched him all day. I could have canceled this flight, quit my job and remained holed up in that hotel room with him until they kicked down the door and dragged us out. I doubt Cameron would have been as excited by that plan as me, however, so I packed up my stuff and left.

I barely remember the trip to the airport. I bumped through security in a daze, then flopped into my seat and stared at the runway until the plane took off and clouds swallowed up my final fleeting glimpses of Seattle.

We’re passing over a mountain range now. The snowy peaks poke up through the clouds hanging low over Washington State, like nosy neighbors watching us over a fence. We’re probably well beyond the city limits, but I scan the churning field of clouds below us, searching for some final glimpse of the place where Cameron lives.

The stewardess finishes her safety briefing. The plane levelsout. Everyone breaks out computers, phones, books, gaming consoles, whatever they’ve brought with them to help pass an uncomfortable six hours. I could have asked the company to send me home first class, but I didn’t want to push it, so I’m stashed away in business class like everyone else. It doesn’t matter. I doubt a bit of extra leg room would make any difference.

When I asked Henry to get me in contact with Cameron, my expectations were low. I’d simply wanted to see him again; I couldn’t help myself. I thought I’d poke at him, get a reaction, have a bit of fun. I never expected those two incredible nights, and one morning, we spent together. It felt like something changed between us, some barrier crumbled, but I fear that’s a one-sided appraisal. If I text when I get home, will Cameron answer? If I want to see him again, would he say yes? The guy is like a bank vault, and I possess neither the code nor the safe-cracking skills to get inside. My usual charm doesn’t work on him. My usual perceptiveness proves worthless against those inscrutable black eyes.

For most of our lives, he was someone I enjoyed messing with. I don’t know exactly when I became more desperate for his attention, but it didn’t change my methods. I kept poking because it always got a response, and getting something was preferable to getting nothing.

What if I pushed too hard? What if I did something back then that he’s still holding onto? I rack my brain to figure out what it could be, but nothing stands out. Maybe he got sick of all of me, the whole package. Maybe he’s only willing to tolerate me if I’m temporary.

An elbow nudges into my ribs, drawing my attention away from the clouds boiling outside the window.

“Hey, man, what was your score this time?”

Through some quirk of fate, my seat is next to Dom from theconference. He considers it good luck to end up next to me when he’s stuck with a middle seat, but I would prefer to fly home beside a stranger who has no intention of talking to me. For once, I just want to be left alone.

I paste on a smile anyway. “Not sure.”

“Oh, come on,” he says. “You? I don’t buy it.”

“Really,” I say. “I was on my best behavior this time. I do also have to work sometimes.”

Dom rolls his eyes. It seems my reputation precedes me. Like a lot of fellow reps, he suspects I racked up quite the body count in the past week, adding to my “score” of escapades. I can’t possibly tell him that the only person I slept with, the only person I even wanted to sleep with, was Cameron.

“You definitely hooked up with Jessica,” he says. “Everyone knows that. And maybe that dude Zane? You guys went out to some bar, didn’t you?”

“There was a group of us that time,” I say. Besides, the person I kissed that night at the bar was Cameron, not Zane. Any other lips were far from my mind once I tasted Cam’s.

Dom shakes his head. “Come on, man. It’s a long flight. You’re really not going to tell me?”

“I wouldn’t be a gentleman if I did,” I say, trying to find a playful tone. I don’t feel like I succeed, but Dom chuckles anyway.

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