Page 77 of Allison

“Hold up,” Hawk interrupts before Wallace can give a retort. “What the hell happened?”

Reluctantly, Worm recounts an edited version of the events before, during, and since Wallace’s wedding. Hawk listens intently, though he turns away from time to time to check on the meat he’s grilling. Occasionally halting Worm’s story to ask a question. When Worm is finished, Hawk studies him thoughtfully.

“Well, you’re sure in a tough situation, son,” Hawk gives Worm’s shoulder a squeeze. “I can understand where you are coming from. It’s frightening to think you’ll let your family down, that you won’t be there when they need you, because you are doing something for yourself. But consider this, how will you feel if you later find out Allison needed you and you weren’t there? How would that make you feel? Would you care?”

“Of course, I’d care!” Worm exclaims. “When I didn’t hear from her for three days? I thought I’d lose my mind. This last month when she’s avoided me at every turn? Utter torture, but my mom and sisters need me to be focused on them, too.” He runs his hand through his hair, considering pulling it all out in his frustration.

“You’re a good man, Worm,” Hawk tells him. “You’re an excellent operator. You have the skills to take care of Allison and your family. You aren’t betraying your mom and sisters by loving Allison. It might not always be easy, but you can have it all. I do and if an old man like me could find love and create a family with a woman who loves me like no one ever has before? Then I know you can have that too.”

Worm stares at his boss, his mentor. A man he has admired and looked up to for several years. Hawk is a wise man. Worm realizes the man is right. Worm has already been thinking he could explore a relationship with Allison and still care for his family. Hawk has just reinforced his decision. One way or another he will get Allison to talk to him to give him a chance. He doesn’t want to go another day without her being in his life and he in hers.

48

ALLISON

Meanwhile…

Allison watches as Worm walks to the front door, unable to keep her eyes off his well-developed body.God!He looks incredible. His muscles move so fluidly under his t-shirt and cargo pants. Heat washes through her, remembering just how wonderfully he could use that big, hard body of his.

Moisture dampens her panties. She squirms in her seat. More and more when she isn’t throwing up her guts, she’s horny, worse than she’s ever been in the past. It must be the pregnancy hormones. The sounds of several people talking at once drifts to her from the front of the house.

“How are you doing?” Charlotte asks entering the kitchen. Allison is just finishing up the salad she’s been putting together. She looks up to see Charlotte and several other women, who she’d met when they had all come to San Diego last year, bringing items to put on the counter. It seems the women have brought over side dishes to go with the steaks.

“I’m okay,” Allison answers, dumping the cucumbers she'd just sliced, on top of the large bowl of romaine lettuce, tomatoes, shredded carrots, and purple onions she’d put together. Rising from her seat at the bar, she grabs some eggs from the fridge placing them in a large pot on the stove to boil for those who might want boiled egg on their salad.

More of Curtis’s friends begin to filter through the kitchen. Everyone is chatting with each other making it difficult for Allison to keep up with all the conversations. She looks around and hates that she keeps watching for Russell to come back into the room. She returns to her seat when she sees him at the door.

Charlotte sits beside her. “How’s the nausea?” Charlotte asks, just as Allison feels the familiar weight of Russell’s stare. She glances up, noticing him moving toward the fridge. She forces herself to look away.

“It’s not good, but I’m surviving,” Allison replies in a whisper. “The ginger seems to be helping. Thank you for suggesting that and for giving me some prescription medication when that isn’t enough.”

“No need to thank me,” Charlotte assures her, keeping her voice low so only Allison can hear her. “You should have seen me when I was pregnant with the boys. I couldn’t keep anything down the first few months. And dizzy? Goodness it was terrible, I couldn’t stand up without nearly falling down again, but it gets better, I promise.” Charlotte smiles at Allison, patting her hand. “I wasn’t nearly as sick with my first two.”

A shot of fear shoots through Allison. Surely, she isn’t carrying twins, too? Lord! She isn’t sure how she’s going to care for one infant, much less two of them.

Russell passes by them. Allison can feel his eyes on her, but she keeps her head down. When the back door closes, the tension leaves her body.If only she could tell him about the baby.She would, if she knew he wanted more with her.

She’d felt such a deep connection to him when they’d been together, but it had obviously all been one-sided. She’d built up what they’d shared in her head to mean so much more than it had meant to him. Her eyes begin to sting. She blinks rapidly, willing the tears away. She’d never been one to cry very often, but now, it takes next to nothing for the waterworks to start.

“Hey, what’s that look and those tears about?” Charlotte asks softly. Allison looks up to see Abigail, Charlotte, and Lisa watching her with concern. She shakes her head knowing she can’t talk about it for several reasons. One, there are too many people in the room who could disclose her situation to Russell. Two, they might judge her for not telling him. Three, if she tries to speak about it right now, she’ll break down and be a blubbering mess, which will be so embarrassing with everyone here.

And lastly, she can’t take the risk Russell could walk in and over hear something. When she does eventually tell him, she doesn’t want him finding out by accident. She wants to tell him in her own way, on her terms. “There’s no judgement here, Allison. We are all here for you,” Charlotte murmurs. “You can trust these women, too. They would never betray your confidence.”

Allison is about to respond when the front door bangs. Emma rushes into the kitchen. “Oh, my goodness, I’m so sorry I’m late everyone!” Emma exclaims, dropping her backpack to the floor just inside the door. “Today was insane! I didn’t think I’d ever get out of there.” She rushes over to throw her arms around Allison, dropping her voice low, for Allison’s ears only. “How are you this evening? I should have texted you that Curtis and I were having company, but I never got a chance.” Emma had had a shift at the hospital today. Allison has heard many stories about how challenging Emma’s job can be.

“I’m fine, Emma.” Allison gives her cousin a return side hug and a smile. “Curtis is outside at the grill with the rest of the guys.” Allison drops her gaze when an image of Russell flashes in her mind. Emma gives her a squeeze.

“I’m sorry. I should have warned you,” Emma whispers. “Please don’t be angry with me. I just think you and Russell need to sit down and talk to each other. Curtis and I thought if everyone came over it might make it easier for the two of you to have a chance to interact without the pressure to have an intimate conversation. Then maybe when everyone heads home, y’all can sit down and work out what happened.”

Anger roars through her. Allison grits her teeth to keep from crying and screaming at her cousin like a crazy person. Emma and Curtis mean well, but they had no right to attempt to force her and Russell together. As far as Allison is concerned, there’s nothing left to say. He said it all a month ago when he’d shattered her heart.

Allison had known she had developed feelings for Russell. He was the person she’d reached out to when she’d been released by her kidnappers, but she hadn’t realized until that moment, just how deeply she cared for him. He’d shredded her with his harsh words. Words that echo in her head constantly and fill her nightmares.

Allison knows she is going to have to talk to him about the baby at some point, but she isn’t ready right now. She isn’t sure if she’ll ever be ready.Does he even deserve to know?Yes, he does, but Allison refuses to force him into being a father when he doesn’t want to be one, especially sharing a child with her.

“There is nothing to work out,” Allison grounds out the words through gritted teeth. “We had a fling. It’s over, so, please stop trying to force him into doing something he doesn’t want to do.” Allison jumps up, needing some space. She’d love to be able to go outside, but all the guys are out there, so she’ll just have to go to her room.

She takes one step when the room begins to spin. Shit! She’d forgotten to take her time. The world darkens from the edges, like a black fog rolling in. Allison is vaguely aware of Emma and the others shouting, but the sounds are so far away. Then only nothingness.

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