Page 15 of Shielding Aubree

"I don't know." Aubree lifted a hand and rubbed at the center of her chest over her sternum. "I think much of what we do... what I do is meant to make other people feel better." She took another deep breath and let it out. "I know when I joined the force, my parents were supportive.

"It wasn't a surprise to them. I'd made no secret of my plans. Since I was a little girl, I'd told my family that I was going to be a police officer. Well, that, or world-famous singer, but that only lasted for a couple of months until I realized I'd need to know how to sing. Still, I think my parents and my brothers assumed that it was just wishful thinking, but I announced that I was going to the Police Academy and that's when I think they knew I wasn't just thinking about it. I was doing it."

Henley nodded. "How did they take it?"

"I think my dad took it the hardest. My brothers who were already in the Los Alamos Police joked about me going straight to the big leagues. My mother cried a little, but she'd done that when my older brothers had joined up. But I knew they were concerned because I was a woman. The Chief of the Los Alamos Police Department told me he was glad that I'd chosen to go with the State Police because it was less of a liability for him."

Emotions welled up at that moment.

Emotions that she hadn't expected to be there and would have knocked her on her ass if she wasn't already sitting on it.

A single tear spilled onto her cheek and then another and soon she was gasping for breath and holding onto Henley.

Henley didn't ask her any questions, she just held onto her and rubbed gently over her back. Her movements slowed as Aubree's sobs slowed and then they ceased.

"How are you feeling?"

Inhaling a breath, Aubree let it out slowly and did it again. When she was done, she looked at Aubree and nodded.

"Better."

Henley's smile was warm and genuine.

Aubree had seen her share of fake but that wasn't the case with Henley.

"It kind of hit me. That feeling."

Henley gently touched her arm.

"The LAPD Chief. He saw both of my brother join the force and stood over both of their coffins. I wonder if he was thinking of them as liabilities, too." She drew another breath in through her nose, keeping as calm as she could. "Is he really that callus?"

"How are we to know what's in his heart?" Henley looked her in the eye and didn't flinch. "The most important thing to do is to keep yourself from being callus, Aubree. You can't control what's in the hearts of others."

"Or," Aubree added, "if they have hearts at all."

"True." Henley nodded. "Very true. Those are the worst kinds of people, but there's no way to change others. All we can do is work on ourselves."

"We can't change them, but we can help bring justice to people who hurt others. At the same time we bring justice to the people they hurt."

"Is that why you want to go back to working for the State Police?'

Aubree rocked back a little and then sat up straighter, working out some of the stiffness in her back. "Honestly?"

"Of course."

"I want to go back for a number of reasons, but the thought that's in my head the most is that I'm not a quitter. I became a police officer because I wanted to serve the people. I want to protect people, but I also believe that means bringing people to justice when they hurt others. It's not just something I want to do. I really feel like it's always been inside me."

Henley nodded. "I understand. I really do. It's more than just an interest, it's a driving force."

Aubree smiled and nodded. "Yes. Absolutely. That's what I've always felt. I've just never put it into words before."

"Why do you suppose you haven't until now?"

A smile touched Aubree's lips, and she barely held back a laugh when she answered Henley. "With only men in my family sharing my job, my calling, I didn't want to say something that sounded so... touchy-feely. I was always afraid that they'd hear what I had to say and end up laughing at it."

"You think your father and your brothers would have laughed at you?"

Aubree hissed in a breath through her teeth. "Not to make fun of me or cause me any pain. They're not like that."

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