Page 58 of And They Had a Great Fall

When they got close, Jake did neither of those things. He gave them both a wave and started to rip the ball out of the package.

“Hey, Kat,” he said with tentative smile, turning his attention to Becca. “Hi, Becca, I’m Jake, in case you don’t remember,” he said, reaching down and shaking Becca’s hand. She shook it hard, which made him laugh. He tossed the ball to her. “Your mom told me you play soccer, huh?” Jake said, leaning down to face her. “Want to kick around with me a bit? You can shoot, I’ll be goalie.”

Becca erupted with an enthusiastic “Yes!” and ran toward the open space. Jake ran after her, turning around to jog backward. “Kat, want to join? Although, I’m afraid to let you shoot soccer balls at my face.”

She laughed and all of a sudden all the tension was lifted. She shook her head and motioned for him to go ahead without her. She sat down on the grass near a water fountain and watched the two of them play.

Jake set up two water bottles from his backpack to mark goal posts, and Becca was thrilled to try to score goals against Jake. At first, he was letting her kick past him and then he started to block her attempts. She protested and ran down the field kicking the ball. Kat was struck at how free Jake seemed, and she saw joy on his face as he ran after Becca. Kat, putting her face to the sun, soaked up the carefree laughter coming from the field. They chased each other until they were both breathing heavy, and they ran over to her.

“You are so fast,” Jake said to Becca as he tossed a water bottle her way. She caught it with both hands.

She looked at him very seriously and said, “You are too … for an old person.” Jake’s eyes opened wide, he clutched his stomach and fell to the ground.

“You wound me with your words!”

Becca giggled in response and tossed the ball up in the air. “Momma, can I go to the playground?”

Kat nodded. “We’ll be over here, honey.” She gave Becca a kiss before she ran down the path toward the swings. Kat repositioned herself so she could see the play structure from where they were sitting. She thought about how, six months ago, the answer would have been “no,” and certainly not where Kat was not within arm’s reach of her. She’d come a long way in giving her daughter freedom and was rewarded by watching Becca’s confidence soar.

Jake sat up and moved diagonally from her, so as not to block her view. His legs were crossed, knees almost touching hers. “Kat, I didn’t think I would ever hear from you.” He leaned forward and whispered, “Seeing your text … knowing I don’t deserve to hear from you …” he paused. “Thank-you.”

“I wanted to see you,” she said. “You look good, Jake, really great … happy.”

She looked straight in his eyes, clear and sparkly. She felt a surge of genuine affection for him, as everything else melted away. She’d found happiness and, in her quest to understand and heal herself, she’d had a persistent fear that Jake surfaced from their relationship more broken than ever. But she could feel a stillness and contentment radiating off him.

Defaulting to small talk, she asked, “How long are you in London?” He looked away, and she saw him stifle a smile.

“I was in London yesterday. I was in Paris when you texted me,” he said, grinning.

Kat couldn’t keep the stunned look off her face. “Jake, you didn’t need to come back here just for this. We could have talked over the phone,” she chided.

“Quick Eurostar ticket, and I’m here. I’ve missed you,” he said. He turned to her and his face became serious. “Kat, you once traveled three thousand, eight hundred, sixty-four miles for me. I figured I could return the favor.”

Kat laughed out loud and shook her head. She found herself still so enamored by the sweet, impulsive soul sitting on the grass in front of her. Out of habit, she deflected the moment, changing the subject. “Zero Codeis getting great buzz. Things are going well for you?”

He nodded. “I have a whole new team, except Roger, and of course, Savannah. I’ve finally taken control of my career. I needed to grow up and take control of my life.” He paused, looking as if he were about to elaborate, but he didn’t. “Thanks … the movie finally … ” he stopped speaking and shook his head.

He leaned back on his palms. “Kat, I didn’t come all this way to sit here and talk about myself. I’m not going to run away from this … what I did … it wasn’t fair to you … to us … I am sorry I wasn’t strong enough, and I wish—”

She stopped him. “What you did,” she said as tears started to burn her eyes, “after getting past my initial anger, I’ve come to realize it was the best thing that could’ve happened to us.”

“I disagree,” Jake said, and Kat could see his jaw tense as he sucked in a breath. His face was a mix of confusion and sadness.

Kat fought to blink back tears. “No, really. I think, no matter what would’ve happened, I was certainly not ready. We wouldn’t have worked. I know that in my heart. Once I got back, I realized my time in Copenhagen was me taking a vacation from my life. I wasn’t prepared to do the work to be with you. One of us would’ve blown up our relationship. You just beat me to it.”

Jake looked up to the sky, and Kat could see him blinking back tears as well. “You are being too kind and too forgiving. I don’t deserve it.”

Kat reached out and rubbed his knee with her thumb. “Jake, what you did pushed me so far out of my perfect, controlled world. And you know what? I was okay. I survived. Until this, I was so afraid to let something happen out of my control that Istopped living. You reminded me that I don’t need to be so afraid of life. Becca deserves a mom who is alive.”

Jake nodded with a look of attention and understanding, communicating that he was fully processing her words. “Becca … she’s one great kid,” he said.

“She’s incredible, and it’s a privilege to guide her through part of her life. I love showing her the world. So, every chance we can, we hit the road and explore somewhere new. Over the holidays, we went to Austria to see the Christmas Markets, which I’ve wanted to do my whole life.”

“That sounds amazing,” Jake said. “But I have to admit I knew that. I was home this past December for the holidays. I was hoping to run into you, and I nearly broke down when my mom told me you weren’t in New York.” He gave her a weak smile. “I can’t let you keep saying nice things to me, letting me off the hook without telling you I’m sorry. And if I could go back, I would do a lot of things differently.”

“I quit my job,” Kat blurted out. She registered the surprise on Jake’s face.

“Please tell me you weren’t forced because of me?” Jake asked, looking down. “I know things got weird for a while. I never meant to hurt your career.”

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