Page 57 of And They Had a Great Fall

She tossed her phone down and let out a loud sigh.

“What, Momma?” asked Becca, looking up from her iPad.

“I have a friend here also visiting London,” she said. “Do you remember Jake from next door? He used to bring you orange Tootsie Pops?”

“Kinda,” Becca said with the ambivalence of youth, and she went back to her device.

Kat smiled at the simple response. Before she could overthink it, she swiped opened her phone, pulled up her messaging app, and scrolled to Jake’s contact information. She winced re-reading the final text chain between them. Jake had texted her daily to say he was sorry and tried to get her to talk to him.

She breathed out slowly as she read her response to his repeated apologies:

K: Jake. Please stop. Even if you weren’t trying to hurt me, you did. If you loved me, you never would’ve used me. When we were an us, were you just playing a part? I know you’ll have a great career. You’re the best actor I know.

He didn’t respond and at the time, Kat was relieved. Leveraging their relationship in the press was the largest betrayal he could have enacted, and Kat was in a panicked anger. Her anger was warranted, but her panic subsided as she realized that social cycles are indeed short.

Although embarrassing, the Twitter boycott of PathMobile devices was short-lived. In fact, sales eventually went up due to the extra exposure. More embarrassing were the endless memes circulated via company email and slack at her expense.

The most hateful was the vitriol she received on social media, but those accounts were easily shut down and that echo chamber could be ignored.

It turned out to be a frenzy that started fast but burned out just as quickly. She often wondered, if she had not been soafraid, if they could have managed it long-term.Probably, was her answer.

Months later, her anger had faded, and panic turned into perspective. She’d done a lot of thinking and breathing in the time away from PathMobile and from Jake. During that time, she’d begun to learn about who she was and how she wanted to navigate the world—not as a widow, not as a mom, or even a professional, but as Kat: a mixture of all and none of those labels.

Before she could convince herself not to, she hit send on a text:

K: Hi. It’s me. Kat. In case you deleted me from your phone. I just saw on the news that you’re in London. The universe works in funny ways, Becca and I are here right now. Just for fun.

J: …

J: Hi. It is good to hear from you.

J:…

J: Can I see you while you’re in London? Both of you?

J: And for the record, I would never delete you.

Kat hesitated before responding. She needed to see him. Her life had changed course since those eight days in Copenhagen, but the transformation felt incomplete without gaining closure with Jake.

She waited for the sadness to creep in, but she only felt at peace. It felt good to no longer hate him as she understood her role in his betrayal. Her unbending nature had kept him from bringing her into the storm he was facing. She wished they could’ve figured it out together, all the while knowing she would’ve tried to unsuccessfully control an uncontrollable situation. She would’vebeen fine with any outcome that pulled Jake out of the public eye, which would’ve stunted his art, and suffocated him in the end.

At the time, she wasn’t strong enough to commit herself to him if it meant making any sacrifices for herself.He must have felt so alone, she thought.He’s a good person who made a tough decision.Taking a deep breath, she responded:

K: Yes. We are staying across from Regent’s Park. We could meet near the Marylebone Green playground.

J: Perfect, 4?

K: That works. I’ll drop a pin. Text me if you get delayed.

J: I will be there on time. See you then.

Kat set down her phone and nudged Becca with her foot. “Hey, we’re going to hang out with my friend this afternoon, at the park. Before then, do you want to go to The Wall Café to drink tea and eat lots of pastries?”

Kat’s hands shook as she waited for Jake to arrive. Out of habit, she found an open patch of grass, devoid of people. She spied a playground down a path, but the field was isolated. Becca was climbing a nearby tree, her growing athleticism on full display.

At 3:58 p.m., she saw him jogging toward them, waving. Along with the prerequisite cap and sunglasses, he was wearing casual joggers and a nondescript sweatshirt. He had an orange backpack and, in his hand, a soccer ball still in the packaging.

Kat called for Becca to climb down, and they both walked toward him. She surprised herself with her inability to stop smiling as he approached. He looked good, healthy. She wondered for a second if she should hug him, or maybe shake his hand?Surely not shake his hand!

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