When she first saw Jake’s call come in, she hit ignore to finish her call with Becca. Becca was relaying, in detail, her day with the neighbor’s new puppy. She would have to call him back, because she wouldn’t cut Becca short.
A text had come next.
J: Hey Kat, it’s Savannah. Can you talk?
Her heart began to race. Something was wrong.
K: Yes, give me a minute. What happened?
Three dots flashed and showed that Savannah was typing.
Her screen had filled with screenshots of articles reporting on how Jake had become unreliable, cost the studio money, and one UK website even speculated that he had a cocaine problem. Kat hid her shock as she finished her call with Becca and Linda. Reading the articles, anger flooded her mind.How could speculation and rumors spread this quickly without a fact checker in sight, she’d wondered.
She’d dialed Jake’s number, her fingers trembling.
“Hey,” Savannah had answered after the first ring.
“How is he?” Kat had asked.
“As you can imagine, not great. He’s talking with Roger and Cindy now. As soon as they’re done, I need to get him off set. Are you staying at his apartment? Can you be there?” she’d asked with her typical air of efficiency.
“Yes, but I’m at work. I’ll head back now and wait for him,” she’d said, gathering her things and rushing out.
Now, while she waited at the door, she scrolled through all the news she could find on the story. She had to admit, it wasterrible. She’d seen this unfold before in her own company. A hit to your reputation, especially regarding your ability to deliver, was derailing, if not devastating. She felt a twist of emotions in her gut as the car pulled up. She felt relief, but also an anticipatory feeling akin to the moment between a lightning flash and the first clap of thunder. She was holding her breath, waiting for thunder to crash around her.
She took a few steps toward the car, and Savannah opened the door and jumped out. She peered into the SUV and saw Jake sliding toward the exit. His eyes were red and glassy, and he still had makeup on from the shoot earlier. He was in an altered state, and she could smell the booze on him as he stumbled out. Peering in his eyes, she could see he was high as well. Before he could speak, she wrapped her arms around him, just for a minute. She nodded at Savannah and watched as she retreated back into the vehicle.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice trembling. Gone was the overconfident, wise beyond-his-years Jake, replaced by a twenty-five-year-old thrust into public life, who sounded hesitant, nervous, and utterly defeated.
She guided him into the building. “It’s okay. It’s all going to be okay,” she reassured him as they climbed the stairs.
“No, Kat. It’s not. I fucked up. You don’t even know the half of it,” he rambled.
She’d forgotten this side of him—the manic, dramatic Jake who could slide into a black hole and struggle for air. She could see him drowning in his own self-loathing. They were two floors up when Jake spun around and sat down on the stairs.
Kat tried to get him to stand up and keep moving, but he was determined to stay right there. She plopped down next to him on the step.
“Kat,” he started, “promise me, no matter what happens, you won’t hate me? At least not forever.” His voice slurred. Helowered his head and started to shake it slowly. “I know it. You’re going to hate me,” he rambled and pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes.
“Why would I hate you, Jake? It doesn’t matter to me. The fame, the notoriety, any of it.Youmatter to me. And I know you’ll get through this—wewill get through this.” She hoped her words would help him understand that she really believed he would come out on top. Even if it became a bump in his career, it wouldn’t ruin him. Maybe less famous, but would that be a bad thing? Kat didn’t think so.I’d prefer it if he was out of the spotlight,she thought.
Jake didn’t reply. He just looked at her in a way that instantly brought back the feeling of dread she was trying to control. It was a look of resignation, shame, and sorrow. She wished she could open up his brain and see what he was thinking, because the look on his face absolutely scared her.
After what seemed like over a half hour, she coaxed him upstairs and into the apartment. She took him straight to the bedroom, took off his shoes, and once Jake lay down, he either fell asleep or passed out. Kat wasn’t sure which. She was just happy that he looked a bit more peaceful.
She went out into the living room and sat down on the couch. She tipped her head toward the ceiling and drew in a deep breath. She needed to find a way to help him. Her mind raced … she had to find a way to fix this … the couch vibrated and she jumped at the feeling—she’d forgotten she’d slipped Jake’s phone into her pocket when Savannah had passed it over to her. It was his mom calling for the third time that hour. She hesitated, but after taking another long breath, she hit accept.
“Hi Jill, it’s Kat.”
“Hi, Kat. Is Jake alright? I’ve seen the press. He has to be devastated. Is he there? Can I talk to him?” she asked, and Kat could hear the concern in her voice.
Kat was curious that Jill didn’t seem at all surprised when she’d answered Jake’s phone. “He’s pretty upset. He’s not in any shape to come to the phone. He’s sleeping, maybe passed out. I’ve never seen him this rough,” she confessed.
“I can only imagine. I was shocked when I saw the rumor of a meltdown. I talked to him yesterday, and he was so happy,” she started. “He told me about you, his new projects, and he was in a good headspace.”
She had a surge of pride realizing Jake had taken steps to reconnect with his mom after their conversation. “He was. I mean, he is. He hit a rough patch a few weeks ago, but really nothing more than burnout. He pushed himself so hard, he was literally breaking apart,” said Kat, happy to confide in someone.
She shook her head, remembering the Jake she’d first encountered in Copenhagen. He’d been broken, unsure, and disconnected from everything and everyone. A sensitive soul, lost in the expectations of others and the unrelenting chase of fame. She’d witnessed Jake claw himself out of the darkness, and now, she was watching him fall back right back into that murky black hole.