Page 24 of And They Had a Great Fall

“Kat, have you ever done molly? You want to have sex with everyone when you do molly,” he said. “I’ve learned it’s not a good idea. Me and molly are broken up.” He laughed at his own joke. “My PR team was pissed. They had their hands full with the press junket and then I threw that in their lap.” He let out a low whistle. “Kept them on their toes, that’s for sure.”

Kat rolled her eyes at him and didn’t say anything. She didn’t like this Jake. She couldn’t decipher between hurt or anger when tears pricked her eyes. She blinked them back and hoped he didn’t see.

“Hey,” he said, frowning. “You upset? Sorry, I wasn’t thinking.…” He reached over to take her hand. “I’m stupid, of course—”

“No, no,” she said, pulling her hand out of his grasp. Her voice was strained. “I asked. I shouldn’t have. I just feel bad for the girls, that’s all. And lately, all the press can call you is a party boy. I just don’t know this side of you.” She refused to let him know his weekend of debauchery had hurt her.

His face looked stricken, and she saw a flash of anger in his eyes. “This isn’t asideof me. It was just a weekend where I needed, I don’t know … an escape? Please don’t think I took advantage of them. It was all very consensual. Believe me, they had no problem going to Reddit within two days to tell their story of what it’s like to have sex with me,” he said. “Frankly, it read like they enjoyed it significantly more than me.”

“But still. The power dynamics, Jake … they were in your favor,” she challenged, locking eyes with him.

“Were they? I was high out of my mind and barely remember anything. In the end, they got a lot more out it than I did,” he said, his voice tight.

She didn’t reply. Twenty-five, she reminded herself. He was twenty-five. Unlike most twenty-five-year-olds, he hadn’t had have college years to party and experiment. These were his years, long overdue, but he had to do it under the microscope of rising fame. Seeing his mental state over these past few days, it was clear he was trying to escape. He’d escaped into the arms of women looking for social currency through an interaction with Jake.

She had concerns about how far he would go to escape. In his industry, drugs were plentiful, not to mention acceptable. His brilliance and creativity came at a price. For as confident as he was, he had told her many times that he didn’t believe he fit into the world very well. Maybe that’s why she found him magnetic—she saw a flame that burned a little brighter than in the average person.His unpredictability excites and scares me at the same time, she finally admitted to herself.

She stood up from the table and began cleaning up her lunch. She was pensive as she concentrated on wrapping the uneaten sandwiches back in their wrappers. She was taking great care to wrap them perfectly. Anything so she didn’t have to look at him.

“Kat, I’m sorry. Are you okay?” he asked tentatively.

“Yes, don’t be silly,” she said, trying to sound light. “I have noright to have an opinion on what you do with your free time.” She shrugged her shoulders and hoped she projected casual.

Jake’s expression was troubled. “Kat, you have every—” he started.

“Jake, I don’t want to discuss this,” she interrupted, referring to more than just the discussion about Lolla. She didn’t want to admit to him the feelings of jealousy that swirled around her brain no matter how hard she tried to keep it casual. She didn’t want to admit how much she hated seeing him with anyone but her. Admitting those feelings would be setting herself up for an emotional fall she didn’t believe she’d withstand. No. She wouldn’t let him hurt her. She had seven and a half more days, and she would fortify the wall around her heart.

To make it clear she was done talking and make him stop looking at her, she opened her laptop, so it covered her face. She began to read her email. Continuing the conversation with Jake wasn’t productive, and she had work to do in order to prepare for her first day in the Copenhagen office.

Jake couldn’t believe he was stupid enough to share the details of his weekend in Chicago. He could only imagine how it felt to see him splashed all over Instagram hanging on, kissing multiple women. Until now, he hadn’t considered how she would feel about that weekend.It happened when we weren’t even talking, he rationalized to himself. He vaguely remembered her calling him after that weekend, but he’d been so hungover he’d deleted the voicemail as soon as he heard her voice. He’d been angry she was ignoring him, and hearing her voice, full of concern, made him resent her more. How dare she refuse to speak to him and then assume he wasn’t okay, just because he’d let loose for one weekend? Of course, he now realized hehadn’tbeen okay. He’d been alone, drunk, and high. When he’d woken up in thehotel room the next morning, he knew he’d made a very public mistake.

He didn’t want to dwell on his mistakes. He needed to get his mind in the present and keep himself from making another mistake. One that could affect his career. He had work to do. Jake stretched out on the couch and openedZero Code. He was committed to re-read the book as he prepared to inhabit the character of Tom. Kat had been right—determining Tom’s physicality had brought him off the pages of the script in a way that Jake could immerse himself in. Now he wanted to know more about his motivations. Those he could only understand through Tom’s internal dialogue, available in the text of the original novel, and he was excited to lose himself in Tom’s mind.

The apartment was quiet except for the soft clicking of Kat’s typing. Getting a rare moment to read, during a lackadaisical Sunday, he felt a calm wash over him. Calm wrestled with flutters of anxiety every time he remembered Garren’s look of disappointment. He successfully declared calm the victor by focusing on the pages before him. Soon he would receive the revised filming schedule, but for now, he would continue to do the work needed to bring forward the best performance he could when he was called back to set.

Kat snapped closed her laptop, breaking the silence. He looked up to find her staring at him. Her eyes were soft, and her face relaxed. He wanted to ask her if she was okay after their earlier conversation, but he decided to let it go. She’d made it clear she was done talking and for now, he was just happy to have her back.

“Whatcha reading?” she asked, putting her chin on her hand. Her hair cascaded loose over her shoulders. Her frayed NYU sweatshirt fell over her left shoulder. He felt the familiar pull in her presence and just wanted her to be physically close to him.

Jake held up theZero Codebook so she could see the cover.He motioned to her and patted the space on the couch in front of him, inviting her to join him. They’d often read together during the pandemic, both finding comfort in each other and the escape of a story that was not their own. She walked over, sat down, and leaned back on his chest, finding the perfect way to lie together on the small couch. He stretched his legs and intertwined them with hers, his sock feet playfully tickling her toes. His arms curved around her and held the book in front of them so they could read it at the same time. When he got to the end of the page, he kissed the top of her head and turned the page. She grabbed his hand.

“I wasn’t finished,” she whispered. “I don’t read as fast as you.”

He chuckled and turned the page backward. Instead of waiting for her to finish, Jake read the words aloud. He felt Kat settle into him as he read the beautiful literary prose on each page. It was a deep story, and reading Tom’s thoughts aloud was giving him a full human understanding of the man he would portray on screen. He pulled a pencil off the side table and made a note in the margins of the book before continuing.

“Hmm … Tom’s internal thoughts are funny. I love his sarcasm,” Kat observed. Jake agreed. He had forgotten this part of the novel. He was going to give his lines a second look to see if that was a tonality he could bring into his performance. Kat nudged him. “Keep reading. You should do audiobooks by the way. I could listen to your voice for hours,” she said. He kissed her cheek and continued reading.

He read to her for the better part of an hour, stopping only to take a note or make a comment, until she let out a long yawn. He looked at her and her eyes were heavy.

“You should take another nap. A real one this time. You look exhausted,” he whispered in her ear and closed the novel. He stroked her hair with his free hand and thought about their earlier conversation on death. He was troubled by her stark view on life. He’d been watching the pressure she put on herself and hefelt an intense desire to show her a life outside of the shadow of death. It was manifesting in a want to shelter and cocoon her inside his world.

“No, I like this,” she said, and let out another yawn. “Well, maybe just an hour.” She sat up, stretched, leaned forward, and gave him a quick kiss. “Will you wake me later?” She asked as she stood up and made her way toward the bedroom.

Jake nodded and went back to reading. After two more chapters, he looked at the time and realized it was time to call Cindy, his publicist and the leader of his PR and social teams.Cindy will know how to keep Kat anonymous, he thought. He’d relied on her the past year, and she’d yet to let him down. She was a bulldog, who managed situations such as Lolla with an aggressiveness that was swift and effective.

Cindy had been more upset about the women than the drugs. Apparently, drugs made him seem edgy and less young which, oddly, broadened his appeal. Also, there was the matter of the play-by-play reports that made their way to the gossip sites. A version had been live for a short number of hours before she’d been able to squash it. Though nothing truly dies once it hits the internet, she managed to bury it pretty far away. He didn’t know how Cindy had done it, but barely anything resurfaced, except a few photos, keeping the social cycle short.

He needed Cindy now more than ever. He understood Kat’s reasons for staying anonymous while she was here, and they had seven days to make it through. But what they had yet to discuss was the future of their relationship beyond Copenhagen. They had agreed to keep it casual, without expectations, but Jake had moved past casual.

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