Page 2 of And They Had a Great Fall

He glanced down at the table and his eyes landed on a magazine with his picture on the cover. He scoffed when he read the text just below his smiling face. “An up-and-comer leading the future generation of entertainment.” He picked up the magazine and threw it across the room. It made a satisfying clang as it hit the trash can.If they could only see me now, he thought.This is the most important film of my career, and I’m completely fucking it up.

When Kat Green opened her eyes, she was disoriented at the darkness of her bedroom.Why is my alarm going off?she wondered.It’s too dark for morning.She tried to refocus her brain to orient herself. Her eyes landed on her phone, which was now illuminating the room like a flash of lightning. It wasn’t her alarm. She grabbed the phone off the nightstand and her heart raced.Middle of the night phone calls are never good. As she swiped to answer, she saw Jake’s name lighting up her screen. That realization did little to calm her nerves. Kat answered, sleep heavy in her voice. She barely said “hello” before Jake’s voice burst on the call.

“Hey. Shit, you were sleeping, I didn’t think about the time. I’m an ass. Of course you are asleep. I didn’t wake Becca did I? What time is it anyway?”

“Whoa … can you slow down, Jake?” She asked him, rubbing her eyes as if she could forcefully eliminate the slumber fogging her thoughts.

He began again, at the same speed, without taking a breath. “I needed to call you. I know it’s been a while and I’m sorry. I feel like you’re ignoring me. But … I think I just needed to hear a familiar … no, not just that, I needed to hearyourvoice. I know I’m not making much sense … Damn, I don’t make sense tomyself. I’m not okay. I mean, Iamokay, like not in trouble. I’m just struggling here in this goddamn city, on this goddamn movie, with this goddamn director. Well it’s not the director, he’s great. I’m not … I suck … I’m not sure why I called … well, yes, Idoknow. I guess I’m hoping and asking … can you come here? I need something …someone, I think … I needyou.”

Kat leaned back against the pillows. She had trouble processing how sad and small he sounded. Although she recognized his voice, this didn’t sound like Jake. The Jake she knew was confident—sometimes maddingly so—charming, and full of life. She’d once called him the human equivalent of Friday.

“Jake,” she started, speaking in a whisper so as to not wake her daughter, Becca, who slept next to her. She adjusted the covers as she sat up and rubbed Becca’s back when she stirred. She marveled at how such a small human could take up so much space in a king-size bed.

She tried to refocus her tired brain. “You’re asking me to come see you? Where? Are you back in New York?”He must be in New York if he’s asking me to come see him. Her brain couldn’t keep up with him. She had no idea what city he was living in at the moment.

“Right. That would help. I’m shooting in Denmark. In Copenhagen. I’ve been here for a few weeks. I passed thePathMobile office last week and thought of you. You haven’t left my mind since.”

For a moment it was silent. When he finally spoke again, his voice was low and quiet. “Kat, I miss you. I wish you were here. I want you to be here. With me.”

“You want me to fly thousands of miles to Denmark?” she asked, suddenly getting clear on what he was asking her. She almost laughed but the fragility in his voice stopped her. It was clear he was dead serious. “What’s happened? Are you okay?”

“Honestly, I don’t know if Iamokay,” he said. “All I know is I need you. I feel … I need you.”

Hearing the phrase “I need you” surprised her and she sucked in a sharp breath. By his own admission, he never “needed” anyone. And neither did she. She’d always felt comfort in the want and desire she felt with Jake, but him throwing need on her was brand new. She felt unsettled in the pit of her stomach, but she tempered her unrest by reminding herself that she was talking to Jake. By now, she should be used to his flair for the dramatic—it frequently manifested itself in a barely controlled panic. In the past, it humored and charmed her; in the middle of the night, it unnerved—even irritated—her.

“I don’t see how … Jake, it’s a lot to ask. Insane … even for you. And last time—” she started, apprehensive about his ask. The last time they’d tried to meet up, she’d rearranged her entire schedule to return early from a business trip while Jake was on a rare visit back to New York. She’d landed only to find out he’d already left the city. She’d never felt so stupid.

“I know. I said I was sorry,” he interrupted. “I hate that we still aren’t talking. This is different, Kat. I wouldn’t have called if I wasn’t serious.”

“The timing.…” she said, beginning to process what he was asking. “Becca starts kindergarten in two weeks, and PathMobile is finalizing the virtual assistant launch. This is a big launch andI’m in charge. Everyone is watching … including our COO, who’s looking to recommend his replacement to the board when he retires, and—”

“Wait. Kat. Is that another promotion? Are they considering you?” Jake asked, jumping in, sounding more like the Jake she knew. “That’s incredible. Damn.” He paused. “I get it. It’s too much to ask. I’m an idiot. I just feel so lost here and.…”

“Jake, I can’t figure this out at 4:15 in the morning. Give me tomorrow—I mean today, to think about it.” She didn’t like to operate on the spur of the moment and this request made her mind race. She couldn’t believe she was actually considering it.Why am I considering this, she chastised herself.This is not possible and definitely not a good idea. She most certainly would not be running to Denmark to reignite a casual affair that started during the pandemic lockdown and ended silently due to time, distance, and, frankly, Jake’s inability to prioritize anything above his own schedule.

Once they hung up with a promise to connect later in the day, she knew she wasn’t going back to sleep. She scooped up Becca and carried her back to her own bed. At five years and ten months old, she was getting almost too heavy for Kat to carry.She’s getting too old to keep sneaking into my bed,Kat mused. She took great care not to wake her as she covered her with her favorite unicorn blanket.

She padded through the dark to the living room and flopped down on the couch. The silence in her apartment was deafening. She had gotten used to being alone at night since the day her husband, Ben, had taken his final breath. It had just been her and Becca from that day forward. Becca filled her life in ways that gave her a specific kind of parental joy, but at night, the silence persisted.

She had lived in silence at night for four years until she’d met Jake, the only son of her next-door neighbors. He’d been homefor a rare, extended period of time when the entire world locked down due to a global pandemic. Once they’d met, their relationship moved unexpectedly fast. He was so different than her. He was impulsive and impatient and lived his life out in the open; she found solace in control and privacy. Beyond the contrast in their approach to the world, there were nearly eight years of age separating them. His twenty-five-year-old expectations lived in stark contrast with her thirty-three-year-old perspective. When Jake had gone back on location a year ago, she’d lived again in the silence.

Kat hugged her knees to her chest, took a deep breath, and realized her face was wet with tears. His callhadrattled her. On top of her frayed nerves, she was tired of hearing a roaring silence and feeling alone. She hadn’t let herself think about how much she missed the energy Jake had brought into her life. Until tonight.

He was asking her to go to him. What did that mean to him? What did it mean toher? Jake means complication and messiness, she thought to herself. To say Jake was complex didn’t begin to describe him. It wasn’t just thathewas complicated; hislifewas complicated.

Why did he call me? Why now? What are we?When he’d left, they had agreed not to put a definition on what they were to each other. To define it would be to put it in a box, full of expectations neither of them could sustain. Kat’s only priorities were her daughter and career. She did not have room for the complication of a relationship—especially with someone with a life and schedule as unpredictable as Jake’s. She refused to confuse Becca, who was already growing up without her father. Kat wouldn’t have her daughter define her life by father figures who left her. In turn, Jake admittedly was not prepared to add consistency to a fully formed life such as Kat’s. So, they kept just far enough away so as to never acknowledge anything other than the moment theywere in. Him calling tonight and “needing her” was decidedly different.

She looked out the window at the city lights and let an exasperated sigh. She was annoyed at her inability to stop obsessing about his phone call. Why was she even still thinking about this?It didn’t make rational sense, and there was no way to figure out how to swing a trip right now, of all times. It was unfair of him to ask, she concluded as her irritation became tinged with anger. When her phone alarm blared again, she pushed the call out of her mind. She would text him later in the day to let him down as easy as possible.

chapter two

Kat opened her closet, pulled out running clothes, and prepared to start another normal Tuesday. Since Ben’s death, she’d gotten very good at singularly balancing the logistics of their household with the unrelenting demands of her job.

Kat had skillfully optimized her morning routine down to the minute:

6:15: Wake up Becca, help her get dressed, and feed her a healthy breakfast (usually Greek yogurt and berries).

6:45: Uber to Becca’s Montessori preschool two miles away (the best on the Upper West Side).

---