Page 18 of And They Had a Great Fall

“I wish you would come back to bed,” he murmured, planting kisses on her neck with increasing urgency. His voice was low, hoarse, and full of sleep. It was all Kat could do to not follow him back to the bedroom, but she really had to finish this work—at least, that’s what her brain told her. She opened her eyes, leaned forward, and moved away from him.

“I can’t,” she said. “This has to get out in the next hour. I want to get it to Emily before she wakes up.” But he was not so easily brushed off.

“Who’s Emily?” he whispered and continued to kiss her neck. “She’s not invited.” His soft tongue licked her ear.

Kat laughed quietly, reached back, and tousled his messy curls. As much as she was enjoying him, she had work to do. “Jake, I’m serious,” she said.

He let out a playful growl and nipped her ear.

She couldn’t believe she was telling him no. But she needed some space from him, just for a minute. The intensity of last night had been disarming and frankly she didn’t know how to process how Jake put every one of her senses on edge.

“Mkay,” he mumbled as he grabbed her coffee off the machine to set it down next to her. She expected him to sit across fromher or go take a shower, but instead, he pulled up a chair and sat down next to her, his legs touching hers. He wasn’t going to give her space. He put his hand under his chin, took a sip of coffee, and peered at her laptop. She watched him read the spreadsheet in front of her. He let out a low whistle.

“That’s a lot of money. Is that your budget for the launch?” he asked, looking intently at the screen. She had a moment of pride at the spending she controlled. It was eight figures with a projection of generating ten figures of sales for the company. Assuming her launch plans stayed on track.

“Yes,” she said, amused at his sudden interest. “I know, it’s boring stuff.”

“Not to you,” he said, leaning back and putting his arm on the back of her chair. “Talk me through what you’re working on. What was the issue yesterday?”

Kat took a beat. He’d never asked her about her work, although he had observed plenty through the pandemic. She pulled up the timeline and total projections for the launch and explained the current issue. She slipped into familiar territory as she detailed why the adhesive could cause a delay or worse, impact the number of units sold. She’d already delivered sales projections to the board and missing those substantially would be unacceptable.

She was going to do everything in her power to keep the launch on track. Her ability to deliver was a key reason she was in the running for COO, and if that came into question, she’d lose to another candidate. She stopped talking when she realized he was staring at her. “What? Am I putting you back to sleep?”

He shook his head. “What does a COO do?” he asked, and Kat could see he was trying to understand her world a little.

“Second to the CEO. The COO does just about everything to make sure the company is profitable. You have to understand and lead just about every department in the company, in anymarket.” Kat once heard it described as the Swiss Army knife of a corporation. She thought that was a good description. “My biggest issue is that I lack global experience. Will, my boss, spends at least a third of his time in our global markets. That’s why I’m here.”

“Sounds hard. And stressful,” he mused. “You love it? You must. You’ve learned how to do everything.”

Kat didn’t reply right away. She had never put love and her job in the same sentence. “I’ve never asked myself if I love my job. I’m good at it. Great at it. But love? I don’t think I’ve ever connected that emotion to my career.”

Jake’s eyebrows lifted. “Really? I can’t imagine working this hard on something I didn’t absolutely love,” he said, gesturing to her open laptop.

“I’m a single mom, Jake. I don’t have the luxury of just doing things I love,” she said, with an edge to her voice.

“Bullshit, Kat.” He challenged her. “Nowhere does it say you can’t do something you love because you have responsibilities.”

Kat looked up at him, stricken. “What do you know about it? What responsibilities do you have?” How could he begin to know what it felt like to carry any real responsibilities? She resented his challenge and was not going to back down.

Jake bristled. “That’s not fair and you know it. I may not have a child, but I have a lot of people who rely on me. And if I don’t deliver, or if I say one wrong thing in the media, poof, my career could be over. It’s different, but the responsibility is real.” He paused and put his hands up in surrender. “But you’re right, I don’t really knowyourresponsibilities, and I shouldn’t have called bullshit on any decisionyoumake inyourlife. But, you still haven’t answered me. If you don’t love it. What drives you?”

“Financial stability. For Becca.” Her voice broke, but she wasn’t going to let the tears flow. No. Not in front of him. She wouldn’t admit to him her true fears. The nights spent awaketrying to convince herself she wasn’t a failure. If Becca couldn’t have a father, she would at least have the best of everything else. The pressure was suffocating and overwhelming. It was true she couldn’t assign love to her career, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t important to her. Her career was a means to an end, not a passion.

“Money’s not everything.” Jake shrugged.

“Says the person getting paid five million a film,” she fired back. She hated his naivete and was reminded of their different lives. Of course he didn’t think about money. He had more money before he hit his twenties than many people made in a lifetime.

He didn’t reply. She took a deep breath until her voice was even. “It matters, Jake. It matters to me. Schools and apartments in Manhattan are not cheap. And hopefully I will need to think about college. I don’t have a fallback for Becca and me. Every choice I make in life affects her. So, yes money iseverything, and no, I can’t just do things I love.” She sighed and locked eyes with him. She wanted this conversation to end. “Youmay not think it’s inspiring, but it’s the reality of the life I live.”

Jake put his arm around her chair, pushed her laptop to the center of the table and rested his other arm on the table in front of her. His presence enveloped her without laying a hand on her. He leaned forward, his face close to hers. “Hey … I don’t want to fight with you. I didn’t mean to imply you were wrong for being motivated in that way. I just want to make sure you’re happy,” he kissed her cheek softly. She felt him rub the back of her neck, but she couldn’t look at him. She didn’t know if she was happy. She didn’t believe her happiness was still part of life’s equation.

She moved to the chair across from him. She couldn’t have this conversation. This was unproductive, and she was done talking. She pulled her laptop in front of her and put all her focus on getting her adjusted spreadsheet off to Emily. Once she hit send, she closed her laptop and finally took a sip of the latte Jake had made for her.Just one cup of coffee today, she thought to herself.She was jittery enough inside and blamed her emotions on too much caffeine.

Jake remained silent and she felt him watching her. Determined to change the subject, she swiped open her phone and went to Instagram. “Check it out. Your stans were hard at work.” She slid her phone over to Jake so he could see the volume of posts and stories from their few hours at Tivoli. The comments were sweet and positive. Kat’s rules worked. She only showed up in the background—a glimpse of her hair in one photo, her hand in another. Nothing recognizable. One fan pegged her as his assistant.A successful outing, she thought.

“How do I look?” Jake asked without looking down. He gave her a smile, but she could see a hint of weariness flicker in his eyes.

“Hot. And sweet. At the same time. Not sure how you do that, but you do,” she said, taking a sip. “Really. No bad photos.” It was true. He photographed well, he had just the right head tilt and smile to look good in selfies. She wished she had that skill. She was always looking the wrong way, closing her eyes, or rubbing her nose. If it was an awkward pose, she had it down. He portrayed the perfect mix of cool and approachable.

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