Page 10 of And They Had a Great Fall

“Is that what the director said?” she asked, and he could hear a hint of skepticism. She closed her laptop and set it aside, her sole focus on him. He looked at her wide eyes and wished he hadn’t said anything.

“Not exactly those words,” he admitted, “but thatiswhat they’re doing. The other principal actors come in a few days, and we should be further along in the schedule, so they’re making up time with shots that don’t require my presence. I need to use this time to get my shit together.That, he did say.”

Jake didn’t really know what would happen if he came back and still didn’t deliver. They were too far along to replace him … weren’t they? His heart raced at the thought of being fired. He was imagining the Twitter chatter and how people would delight in his failure. Industry reporters and the keyboard trolls would tear him apart without a second thought. It would derail his career in a way he couldn’t allow himself to consider.

Jake avoided her eyes, set down his coffee, and scratched the back of his head. He watched Kat stand up, put her plate in the sink, turn around, and disappear behind him. She put her hands on his bare shoulders, pressed her fingers into his muscles, and began to lightly rub. At least he didn’t have to face her.

“Taking a few days to regroup? Actually … that sounds like a good idea,” she said, pushing her thumb just under his shoulder blade. “Take it for face value. A needed break. Don’t make thismore than it is.” Her voice was soft and calm. Jake leaned into her touch.

“Hmm,” he said, letting his head roll forward while he took a few deep breaths. That was the spot that always gave him trouble and she knew exactly how to release it. He’d forgotten how she’d learned his body during those pandemic days. His brain lingered on the memories of the long summer nights on her balcony, where her touch had been the balm he’d needed to make it through another week. She pressed her thumb into the knot with a firm, focused touch. It felt good; almost painful.

“God, I’m just … I don’t know. I feel like it’s me against the entire world right now,” he whispered, almost to himself. It wasn’t just the fear of being fired. He felt disconnected with everyone and everything around him. He groaned as she finally broke through the knot and felt relief in his shoulder.She’s the only one that can do that, he thought. He rolled his arm forward, enjoying the newly released muscle. She moved down to his lower back. He leaned forward, resting his head on his arms to give her better access. He sucked in a sharp breath when her fingers found another tight muscle.

Her voice broke the silence. “Just breathe into it, Jake. All of it.” She went down to a whisper. “Get out of your head. Stop thinking so hard and worrying about what might happen. Just let yourself be.”

He felt her hands lift off his back. They traveled to his head and as her hands ran through his hair, he felt himself harden between his legs. He adjusted his position to try to hide how his body was responding to her touch. He hadn’t realized how starved he was for gentleness. In the past year, he had plenty of physical contact, but none as giving and kind as this.

For the second time in less than twenty-four hours, tears came to his eyes. He kept his head down, exposing the back of his neck, and let a few tears fall. The care she took was almost too much. She stopped what she was doing and whispered in hisear. “You may be against the world right now, but I promise, the world isnotagainst you.”

He nodded his head. He listened to her words, but it didn’t quell the constant unrest that had settled into his being. She gave his shoulders a squeeze and then he felt her lips on the side of his neck, kissing him. It was soft, and her lips lingered. Jake was transported to a time when sensual, stolen kisses had been commonplace between them. Last night, he’d decided that he would take her lead on anything physical, lest she think he called her all the way to Copenhagen for sex. That was definitively not why he’d called, but he wouldn’t deny that it had been on his mind since she’d arrived. He hoped she was trying to reignite the intimacy they’d once had. Jake rolled his head back toward her, wanting her to kiss him again, eliminating the separation time and distance had created.

She jarred him out of the moment when she clapped his shoulders. “I’m getting in the shower,” she announced. “And then we’re moving you into this apartment.” Before he could turn around, she disappeared into the bedroom.

Kat admonished herself as she stepped into the shower.I can’t believe I kissed him … like that, she thought. She reminded herself of the barrier she needed to keep between them. Kissing him was not the plan.But I want to kiss him again. She rolled her eyes at herself. She wasn’t used to being this scattered in her thoughts. She’d only been trying to end the massage and lighten his mood. But instead of a quick peck, she’d lingered longer than she’d meant to, and it had been softer and more sensual than she’d planned. She’d looked at his face when he’d rolled his head back. His lips had been parted, and his eyes half closed. She’d been dangerously close to kissing those perfect and expectant lips. Her body couldn’t deny that she wanted him.

Her rational brain took over and she resolved to reinstate the boundaries they’d had—at least on their emotions. She’d seen his tears and knew she was only an inch deep into the darkness inside him. He had called her because he wasn’t okay, and she needed to be careful with his emotions. And hers. He had a way of making her lose focus, and she was already feeling her brain scramble when she was around him.

She pushed her rational brain to the side. They couldn’t be together for any length of time before the invisible boundary was shattered, bringing their bodies together. The “Humpty Dumpty” incident had ended with her on the floor, a script under her back, and Jake pressed against her, his arms holding her tight and their bodies working with a sense of urgency, as if either of them might pull away at any moment. The escape, the high, and the release had been addictive and like addicts, once they’d indulged in that drug, there was no turning back.

It was only sex—raw and unfiltered. Sometimes, an intense power struggle, a synchronized dance of control. Other times, it had been pure fun, both taking pleasure in watching the other person come apart. It was an unspoken agreement that they had no expectations of the other person. She believed they were both running from their own demons and the high had allowed them to break free, even for just a moment, from the invisible chains they’d put on themselves.

Her chains were ones of unrelenting responsibility, driven by the need to be successful in her career so she could take care of Becca. She understood Jake’s chains were the expectations from directors, producers, the press, the fans, and everyone who believed they owned a piece of him.

She sighed to herself. Ithadbeen over a year since they had been together … could it be that she had imagined his response? In the past year, there had been very little connectionbetween them, and recently Jake had been with a constant string of women, all documented in the media. Each one more beautiful than the next. Before he’d called, Kat figured their relationship had fizzled to nothing and she’d been content to let him go, not because she’d wanted to, but for her own self-preservation. She’d come to believe their time together although intense and meaningful to Kat, had been a casual fling to Jake. It was entirely possible that he’d moved on and the intensity of Kat’s desires were now wholly one-sided.

After she’d showered and changed, Kat walked out of the bedroom and found Jake unpacking his suitcase. She wasn’t going to dwell on the moment they’d had just thirty minutes earlier, and clearly, neither was he. She resigned herself to the reality that the kiss meant more to her, anyway. After all, he was the one who’d stayed away for an entire year. She vowed to herself that, moving forward, he would need to make the next move.

“This won’t take long. I never bring much with me,” he gestured around the sparse apartment.

At the risk of sounding lecture-y, Kat responded, “I think you’ll feel more settled, maybe more committed to this film, if you move in. You look like you could pack up and leave at a moment’s notice.”

Jake tossed a pair of socks in a drawer and shot her a resigned look. She decided not to push him any further.

As they worked, Kat was planning the rest of the day in her head. She couldn’t help it—she was wired for constant anticipation.

“Are you really free all day?” she asked.

“Yep. Hey, based on this morning, do you need to go into the office today?” he asked. “I understand if you do.”

“No,” she said. “There’s not much more I can do today. But I do have a few ideas for sightseeing in Copenhagen.”

Jake thought about what they might encounter when they ventured out in public. He was worried about her comfort in public with him. He couldn’t imagine she had any understanding of what his life was really like. A lot had changed in the two years since the pandemic had started and back then, they’d been in a bubble, away from the world. Their stolen moments had been a complete secret, kept even from those close to them. He needed her to understand the public realities of being with him.

“Kat. We should talk about this,” he started. “I get recognized on the street much more often than a year ago. I need you to be prepared.”

Kat was quick to respond. “I thought about this a lot on the flight here, because I do want to hang out with you, and I don’t want to hide the entire time,” she said. “But what I really have to avoid is anything that would identify me as more than an acquaintance. Jake, your stans are really attached to you and obsessed with everything you do. I don’t want to be a part of their chatter if I can help it.”

He nodded in agreement. He knew that some of his loyal fans were very … how could he put it? Stalker-ish. He never worried about getting kidnapped or going missing, because his stans would find him in a split second. Hell, every time he wore a new shirt, it was less than eight hours before the brand and a link to buy would be posted. They relished every tiny detail of his life. If they thought he was dating someone, they would stop at nothing to know everything about her.

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