Page 47 of Out of Control

“I think you’re wrong.”

Fiona had refused to argue any further, but she’d stuck to her guns of making Adele do as much of the baby-care as possible and only stepped in occasionally to allow Adele to rest.

These ongoing stresses meant New Year’s Eve didn’t have any special feel about it. Fiona couldn’t dredge up any optimism for the new start that would be heralded by the midnight chimes of Big Ben.

“Are we doing anything special this evening?” Joe asked her after lunch. “I could ring round and see if there’s anywhere with a table free.”

“Two problems with that. Is it fair to abandon your struggling daughter and her new baby on one of the most emotive nights of the year? Secondly, going out at New Year costs an arm and a leg.”

“But it’s our first New Year together as a proper couple. I want people to see us. To know we are together.”

Fiona let his shallow sentiment go. It was becoming increasingly obvious that Joe wasn’t the man she’d thought he was and that scared her. It was more fun to miss him for most of the week than to have him living in her house. And now she was cornered without an easy way to ask him to leave.

“I could invite Mum and Meeko over,” she offered. “To make it a bit different to the other nights.” Dorothea would jump at the chance but Meeko would probably say ‘no’. She’d sent him some light-hearted quips and a couple of photos of Natalie since Christmas Day but had had nothing back bar a few thumbs up emojis indicating he’d seen her messages.

“Not Meeko.”

Fiona sensed an edge to his voice. “Oh?” Did Joe know something about Meeko’s distancing himself from her?

“I don’t know him properly and it would be weird having him here. We’re a couple and he’d be the odd one out.”

“He probably saved your granddaughter’s life; he could never be the odd one out in this house. And he’s the nicest man you could imagine. In fact, it would be lovely to have him here tonight, and my mum—”

“Adele told me about the way he looks at you.”

Her heart missed a beat. “What do you mean?”

“Like he fancies you! His eyes follow you round the room. He stands a little bit too close when he’s speaking to you. He touches you more than a normal person would.”

Joe was talking rubbish, and Adele was stirring things up to pave the way for a reconciliation between her parents. “Meeko is warm, affectionate and touchy-feely. But he’s like that with everyone.”

“Adele says he’s different with you.”

Joe’s jealousy of Meeko’s close friendship with her was misplaced and, by voicing it, he was spoiling what might remain of her relationship with her best friend. “On second thoughts, with all this rubbish in your head, having him here tonight wouldn’t be a good idea. You’d read things into him giving me a new year kiss or us holding hands forAuld Lang Syne. And I don’t want Mum here either if there’s these horrible undercurrents of tension between us.”

No visitors were invited and an unhealthy, claustrophobic atmosphere hung over the three adults and one baby as the light faded and the last evening of the year began. Fiona felt it was her responsibility to elevate the mood — this was her house and Joe and Adele were guests rather than permanent residents. She suggested ordering a Chinese and a bottle of prosecco to open at midnight.

“Yes to the food,” said Adele, pacing the floor with a restless Natalie, “but, fingers crossed, I’ll be asleep by midnight. And it says in the book that fizz and alcohol don’t agree with babies.”

“Fiona wasn’t offering it to Natalie.” Joe’s voice was sharp following their earlier disagreement over Meeko.

“Duh! Put your brain in, Dad. I’m talking about Natalie getting it second-hand through my milk.”

“Food for three but maybe a bottle of red for two?” Fiona looked at Joe, willing his attitude to settle so that, once mother and baby had gone to bed, they could cosy up on the sofa and salvage something of their previous relationship, now lost or buried through too much domesticity.

Joe shrugged.

Why did men so rarely admit when they were wrong? He was still smarting over Adele’s comment about the milk and probably would do all evening.

Joe went to collect a set meal for three because nobody had the brain power to think about individual dishes. Fiona warmed plates and set the table. As a nod to the date on the calendar, she added a couple of candles and dimmed the lights just enough to make it feel like an occasion, but not enough to make Adele feel like an intruder at a dinner for two. Then, before she could overthink it, she sent a message to Meeko wishing him a pleasant evening whatever he was doing, and hoping they could arrange to breakfast together in the next few days because she’d timed it wrong and missed him every morning for ages.She hoped this wasn’t because the hotel had dispensed with his services completely but she didn’t articulate that in the message.

Adele had soothed Natalie to sleep in the cot ten minutes before Joe arrived back with the white plastic carriers of food. But she started wailing again before they’d finished the starter of Peking duck with pancakes. The coloured lights on the monitor flashed in synch with the noise. Adele groaned and pretended to bang her head on the table.

“I’ll go,” Fiona said.

Adele mouthed a silent thank you and Fiona caught the sigh of relief that Joe unconsciously released. Upstairs, Natalie calmed as soon as she was picked up.

“I think you like to be in company, don’t you? Like any other person,” Fiona crooned gently. “But my dinner’s going cold downstairs and I’m hungry.” Natalie’s eyes closed in response to Fiona’s gentle noises and the rocking movement of continuously taking the four steps between the spare room’s door and its window. “Now I’m going to lie you down again and you’re going to stay asleep, aren’t you?”

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