Page 7 of Out of Control

“Mum!”

“Rob is a lovely lad. He worshipped the ground you walked on. Me and your dad thought you were a match made in heaven. It’s a shame you never got as far as producing kiddies, but he always treated you well.”

“Except for when we lost everything through his gambling addiction.”Including your unborn granddaughter.

Over the intervening years Dorothea had never mentioned the miscarriage. Immediately afterwards Rob had insisted, against Fiona’s wishes, on telling both sets of parents about it, even though they hadn’t known she was pregnant in the first place. “They have a right to know. And you need your mother’s help to get through it.” Fiona swore she didn’t need help. She wanted to stay in her black hole out of respect to Amber. Buteventually she had accepted Dorothea shopping and cleaning for them until she could face domestic activity and the outside world again.

“People change,” Dorothea said. “Apparently after all that business he went cold turkey and hasn’t gambled again.”

“Hmmm.” Whether he was a reformed character or not, Fiona had no intention of getting involved with her ex-husband again.

As Fiona put her coat on to leave, Dorothea pushed a foil-wrapped package on her. “Flapjack. For Joe.”

Chapter 6

“I don’t know why you’re so nervous,” Joe said, as Fiona stood in front of the mirror and tried to decide whether her floor-skimming scarlet sheath dress was too over the top. “Stop examining yourself. I will feel a million dollars with you on my arm.”

When she’d pressed him for more details about what to expect of his colleagues, he’d described a mix of other physios, podiatrists, a chiropractor, an osteopath, a couple of receptionists and someone who did Botox. Thoughts of the latter made her lean closer to the glass and examine her face. As her mother had forewarned, things were sagging, and she lacked those wonderful high cheek bones that act as scaffolding to keep everything in check. Joe eased her back from the mirror and kissed her.

She pulled away and looked at herself again. The phrase ‘scarlet woman’ came into her head. Conclusions would be jumped to that she had been instrumental in the break-up of Joe and Rose’s marriage. Had Joe emphatically told his workmates that he hadn’t met Fiona until after the divorce? A subtle outfit would be better, unless she wanted to star in the workplace gossip that would surely follow the party. She changed into her ubiquitous, knee-length little black dress, which went anywhere without problem.

Joe looked disappointed. “I preferred the other one. It made a statement.”

“I don’t want to make a statement. Let’s focus on us before worrying about how we appear to others.”

“That sounds like fun.” He pulled her close and kissed her again. Her toes curled and she warmed inside at the memory of the rationed evenings they’d spent together, making the most of every minute. Then she gently pushed him away. Now they hadall the time in the world to do that sort of thing, it wasn’t so important to take every opportunity.

“Talking of the future . . .” Joe produced a small black box from his trouser pocket. Fiona’s heart went cold.Please don’t go down on one knee. Please don’t ask the question. Please make that box disappear.“I got you this. Wear it tonight.” She closed her eyes and tried to concoct a neutral reply. She couldn’t agree to a marriage proposal. He opened the box. “It’s a pendant,” he said.

Her chest deflated like a balloon. The relief was overwhelming.

“You always wear that old amber thing and I thought it was time for a change. And since we’re going to paint the town red, a ruby seemed most appropriate. Let me.” His hands went to the back of her neck to unfasten the pendant she’d had specially made three decades earlier in memory of her lost baby daughter.

Fiona’s hand immediately went to the stone. “No. I . . .”

“Don’t be silly. Amber and ruby together will look out of place.”

She wanted to tell him to return the ruby to the shop. She would never wear it because the amber pendant only came off when she was in water. But he’d undone the catch and the chain cascaded into her hand, making a curled shiny nest around the bespoke mustard-coloured stone. He fastened the new gold chain at the back of her neck. It was just the right length and the red stone nestled neatly in her collar bone. Joe stood back to admire his choice. “That looks much better than the old yellow one. You are keeping those red heels on, aren’t you?”

That had been her intention but she disliked the way he was toying with her outfit and the impression he wanted her to project. Had this sort of interference been instrumental in his divorce from Rose?

“Joe, I am going to wear the amber pendant. It has sentimental value to me.” She fiddled with the fastener on the ruby’s chain and then handed it back to him.

“What sentimental value?”

“Just something from . . . it was a long time ago.” Her fingers were rubbing the smooth surface of the amber stone. She couldn’t talk about it now, casually, when they were in a hurry to go out.

He frowned but didn’t pursue it. Only in the car did the cost of the ruby occur to her.

“I appreciate the thought behind the pendant.” She tried to be diplomatic. “But I thought all your capital was tied up until the house can be sold next year? And you’re paying an arm and a leg to keep Adele at uni.”

He glanced across at her. “My house is uninhabitable so I’ve stopped the standing order for my rent. Fiona — for once just relax and enjoy. Let someone else be in control. You don’t have to be the boss all the time. And it’s not your money I’m spending.” His sharp voice was a shock. They’d never argued because they each had their own space and their own private lives to return to, and they both knew where the line was drawn. They’d been sharing their domestic lives for only twenty-four hours and already it had become difficult not to challenge where the new line now sat.

Fiona took a breath. She wasn’t ready to tell Joe the whole story around her divorce and reveal her vulnerability. But she wouldn’t allow herself to be treated like ‘the little woman’ who didn’t understand finance. “When I was married there were . . . money issues. That makes me want to know the ins and outs of where any cash is coming from.”

He patted her knee, his eyes still on the road, and then spoke flippantly. “Thanks for telling me. But don’t worry. I won’t bring the bailiffs to your door.”

Fiona went cold inside. “Don’t treat it as a joke.”

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