Page 49 of Out of Control

“And who would drive? You’ve had far too much, plus you encouraged Fiona.”

Fiona thought guiltily about her second glass, which she’d finished without thinking. Now she had to make the offer. “Let me take her and you get your head down for a couple of hours. We’ll manage this if we take it in shifts.” Adele looked at her with relief. Joe shook his head as if he couldn’t believe the drama they were making out of caring for this tiny being.

After the departure of her mother, Natalie grew even more vocal and restless. Pacing up and down the room had no effect. Swinging her gently in the car seat didn’t quieten her. After a while Joe put his hands over his ears. Fiona ignored him.

Finally, he spoke. “OK, let me take her.” His tone implied that he’d given Fiona her opportunity to prove herself and she’d failed so now he’d show her how it was done.

He cradled Natalie’s head in one hand and held her upright against his shoulder in the other. To start with, he swayed from side to side, then he walked, then he tried jiggling, attemptedsome gentle crooning and, finally, after a whole five minutes, handed her back to Fiona. “She must be ill,” he said confidently. “There’s no other explanation.”

“Ill! No, please no!” Adele was back in the room and rushing towards Fiona and her daughter.

“He’s probably wrong.” Fiona glared at Joe and then back to Adele. “And you’re supposed to be asleep.”

“I can’t sleep while I can hear her crying.”

“That means you are definitely a good mum,” Fiona whispered to the increasingly distraught young woman. Then she spoke more normally. “I don’t think she’s ill. There’s no sign of a temperature or floppiness or anything else the books tell you about.”

“You’ve read books about babies?” Adele’s eyes were wide.

It would be so easy to share Amber with Adele. After the girl’s support of Fiona over Joe’s mentions of Rose, it felt possible even. But she couldn’t do it now, with Joe there. His behaviour tonight had removed the last scales from her eyes. He wouldn’t understand. “Friends had babies. I did the odd spot of babysitting for them and tried to keep abreast of things.”

“I can’t take this stress for much longer. We need someone who knows about babies.” Joe’s voice was impatient.

You’ve supposedly brought up two yourself.

“What about Dorothea?” Adele’s face brightened a little as she spoke. “We could phone her. It’s not too late.”

Fiona put the old lady on speakerphone. Her mother was delighted to be approached for expert advice but could offer no suggestions other than what they’d already tried. “Sometimes it needs a person to hold her who’s not so emotionally invested,” she said finally. “You three are stressed and at your wits’ end. Little Natalie might have sensed that. If you could fetch me over, it might make a difference. No guarantees, but it could be worth a try.”

“That would be great, Dorothea.” The younger woman’s shoulders were visibly dropping back a little from their hunched position.

“But neither Joe nor I are fit to drive.”

“I’m sorting an Uber right now.” Adele’s fingers moved fast over the screen of her smartphone. “We’re in luck! Everyone who’s going out has gone, but there’s still a couple of hours until midnight and the massive rush.”

Chapter 35

Thirty minutes later Dorothea arrived. As soon as she had her coat off and the slippers that she’d brought with her on, she plonked herself in an armchair and almost snatched Natalie into her arms when Adele offered her. “You’ve no idea how lovely it is to hold new life close when you are as old as me.” The old lady shut her eyes for a moment and appeared to be breathing in great lungfuls of Natalie’s sweet milky smell. “This makes me feel like a solid cog in the circle of life rather than a spare part that’s not needed anymore. Natalie’s heart beating so close to mine is better than a rejuvenation drug.”

Joe rolled his eyes to the ceiling. Fiona swallowed tears and wondered if it would have been an even more potent drug if the baby were an actual blood relation.

“That’s a really lovely thing to say.” Adele paused for a couple of seconds before adding, “Gran.”

Dorothea’s eyes opened wide and a huge smile made her look like the young woman that Fiona remembered from her childhood. Fiona wanted to hug the tableau in front of her and never let it go: her mother nursing her great-granddaughter-by-proxy, whose startling screams were now replaced by gentle snuffles, and the baby’s mother, who was staring at the old lady in wonder, as though she had woven a magic spell to calm and quieten the infant. But she also wanted to wade in and urge her mum-to-be cautious with her feelings because these were not blood relatives and liable to slip away like sand through an egg timer.

“Thank goodness for that.” Joe picked up the TV remote.

Fiona took it from him. “No. Let’s just enjoy some quiet time.”

Adele indicated that she was going to bed for a little while. The three adults sat in silence until it became obvious that Natalie was sleeping the sleep of the exhausted.

“Shall I transfer her to the car seat,” Fiona asked, “to give you a break?”

“No. Let’s not take the risk of disturbing her. And, like I said, it’s really nice having the heart of another living thing beating so close to my own.” Then she looked pointedly at Joe. “A cup of tea would be nice right now.”

Dorothea spoke in an urgent whisper as soon as Joe was out of the room. “Have you spoken to Meeko?”

“No. I think . . .” She might as well be honest since their estrangement now seemed permanent. “I think I’ve done something to upset him but I don’t know what.”

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