Page 25 of Out of Control

“You can ask another question, if you want?”

“Will Joe and I be happy together?”

Meeko shifted in his chair and cleared his throat. He looked uncomfortable but gestured that she should take a card.

The next card was the six of clubs. Anotherno. The cards were talking rubbish.

Fiona asked no further questions and turned over no more cards. “There’s no science behind this. I could go home now, ask Adele to leave and build a happy love nest with Joe. My free will is more powerful than anything the cards might say.”

“But you won’t, will you? Nobody could be that heartless to a heavily pregnant woman.”

He was right. But any one of a hundred scenarios might also happen.

“Adele has free will too. The father of the baby might turn up and whisk her away. Or her mother might return.”

“Possible, and the cards might give a different answer tomorrow. Today’s answer is unique to you and this moment in time.”

Fiona picked up the cards and shuffled them again. “I’d rather playSnap!and make my own decisions about the future.”

Meeko shrugged and took the pack from her. Their fingers touched and that weird feeling fizzed in the pit of her stomach again. Did Meeko feel it as well? His face gave no indication.

“Changing the subject.” She averted her eyes from his and stared at the wall behind him, alighting on a wedding picture. He’d told her about it. He’d acted as best man at the wedding of two of his closest friends, just after gay marriage had become legal. Apparently, after waiting for so long to be able to tie the knot, the couple had pushed the boat out and the wedding had been an extremely joyful occasion, full of family and community. The sight of Meeko in his top hat and tails made her catch her breath and then look away. She softened her gaze so that she was looking at nothing in particular when she next spoke. “I’ve offered to host a baby shower for Adele and she’d like a real-life Father Christmas to be there. Can you take bookings on the side? I’ll pay you the going rate.” She made a mental note to add a big tip — today’s visit had shown her how precarious her friend’s financial situation was.

Meeko didn’t hesitate. “I’d love to. It sounds like fun. And don’t worry about payment. At mates’ rates it will cost you nothing.”

She brought her eyes back to his face. It was impossible to converse properly looking over someone’s shoulder. His face was twinkly and enthusiastic. She loved him for his zest for life and his generosity. For his inability to hold a grudge or remain in a black mood. She wanted his secret to seeing the joyand positivity in anything and everything. And his ability to go through life so unselfishly.

Her mind jumped forward to the practicalities of his appearance at the baby shower: the Santa outfit belonged to the garden centre — should Meeko ask their permission? Did Adele simply want a few ho-ho-hos or would there be gifts to distribute? Gifts would help her back into Adele’s good books; Fiona would fund them. Then she took a breath — it could all be sorted out in the coming days. It didn’t have to be done this very moment. Learn to go more slowly and give others a chance to catch up. “All you have to do is turn up. And it will be all women — no men allowed apparently.”

“I’m looking forward to it.” His eyes twinkled again.

“And I nearly forgot — Mum and I are no longer eating out on Christmas Day; it makes no sense now that Joe and Adele have landed. We’d all love it if you could join us?” With Lynn no longer on the scene, Fiona couldn’t bear to think of her best friend sitting alone in this flat, and she was already mentally preparing the doggy bag of food she’d give him to take home.

“Try keeping me away from a free dinner plus the company of three ladies!”

Chapter 20

On the way home, Fiona’s head buzzed with anxiety and overwhelm. The prospect of sharing her home with Adele and a baby for months and months was suffocating. Please come home soon, Rose! The potential for her retirement to be a time of self-indulgence and joy had gone. She had responsibility for a young woman she barely knew, an unborn baby she was not biologically related to, and a mother who was permanently disappointed in her only child and so lonely that she had resorted to picking up men from the lonely hearts column. Plus, a confusing transition to make from passionate affair to domestic cohabitation with Joe.

And then Rob’s grinning face sprang to the forefront of her mind. Fiona gasped and blinked hard to obliterate his image. He wouldn’t side-swipe her off life’s track again. “Go away! Go away! Go away!” she muttered, until home was in sight. Then she called on her ability to focus on the task in hand.

There were the details of the baby shower to work out and safeguards to put in place to ensure it wasn’t an uncontrollable nightmare in her own home. Joe was enthusiastic but didn’t have a clue how to arrange even the smallest event, and Adele seemed like all the young people Fiona had worked with — totally last minute in the organisation of anything, from a simple night out to a holiday abroad. Fiona needed to take control. By the time she walked into her house she was itching to start.Fail to plan, plan to fail. A ‘normal’ person would be happy with a simple paper and pen list, but only a spreadsheet would make Fiona feel really in control.

She stopped in the kitchen doorway. Adele was at the sink, washing up. The kitchen table and all the surfaces were clear and damp, indicating they’d recently been wiped down.

“Wow! This is great. Thank you.”

“I felt bad about the other morning, and Dad said . . .” Adele halted, as though realising any words might make her look less than willing.

“It doesn’t matter whose idea it was.You’vedone the job.” It did matter that this hadn’t been Adele’s idea. But Fiona remembered something Meeko had once told her, along the lines of: If we create an atmosphere of acceptance, gratitude and welcome to others, then they are more likely to follow our example and treat us that way in return.

Stepping further into the kitchen, it was obvious the surface wiping down hadn’t been done properly. The main large areas were clean, but the toast crumbs had been carelessly pushed against the silicone sealant running between the horizontal surface of the worktop and the vertical surface of the tiled wall. And there were further crumbs and blobs of jam on the vinyl flooring immediately below. It took immense willpower not to criticise. Fiona took the cloth from Adele’s hand, scooped up the jam and handed the cloth back. “Sorry, I just didn’t want that to get trodden out of here and into the hall carpet.”

Adele frowned and then turned back to the sink without speaking.

Fiona pursed her lips. She’d done the wrong thing. But anyone else would have acted the same. And she was still going to have to sneak back later and clear up all the crumbs now lurking in half-sight.

“I’ll dry for you.” She picked up a tea towel. This way she could ensure that everything had been washed properly. “Afterwards shall we dot the I’s and cross the T’s of the baby shower? What do you think — a paper list or a spreadsheet?”

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