Page 88 of Waiting for a Bright New Future

“I can’t move in with you.”

Jayne’s face froze in an expression of pain. “What do you mean?”

“I can’t move in with you.” He didn’t know how to soften the blow, instead he squeezed her hand.

“Are you saying you don’t want us to get married?” She pulled her hand away and took a large gulp of wine, as though preparing herself for the worst.

“No, I’m not saying that. Moving in just doesn’t feel right for me at the moment.” He was trying to choose his words carefully. They shouldn’t sound like an excuse; Jayne could be quick to misunderstand. “If we start living together now, what is the point of us getting married? I want our wedding to be the start of a new life together, not just the continuation of something we started out of convenience some weeks earlier.”

Jayne drank more wine. “You’re making the wedding sound special.” She’d got the point but still sounded suspicious. “Are you sure this isn’t some clever way of giving me the brush-off?”

“No. Yes. Our wedding will be special, whatever the circumstances. But it will mean much more to me if we don’t live together until we are married.”

She smiled. “I understand and I like the sentiment. But does that mean we can’t . . .” She undid the first few buttons of his shirt and then leaned in to kiss him.

It was impossible to stop the comparison. Impossible to stop Florence’s face hovering. He tried hard to make it passionate. He held Jayne close, pressed against the warmth of her body. But now there was a comparison and Jayne was found wanting.

“Something’s wrong. You’re all tense.”

“I’m a bit under the weather. I stopped for a prawn sandwich when I was out cycling yesterday and I think it must have been a bit dodgy.”

Jayne shuffled a little away from him on the settee.

“It’s probably best if I have an early night and get it out of my system.” He needed Jayne to go. He was confused and afraid of saying the wrong thing that might actually turn out to be the right thing. Where were Sandra and William when you needed them?

“Phone me if you need help?”

Stuart nodded and listened for the front door closing.

* * *

Life became haphazard. Veronica had work for him most days but Stuart never knew until the night before what time he would be required and where he would have to go. The clients were often hostile when they discovered their usual carer was off. Most of them were ladies who weren’t used to being washed by a man but he did his best to preserve their dignity. It was refreshing to visit the occasional man who was pleased at the prospect of exchanging football gossip and Stuart tried to keep up with all the local teams so he could provide proper conversation, which was what most of his clients wanted above all.

As the days turned into weeks, it became easier to slot Florence into a box in his memory marked ‘Not To Be Opened’ and to focus on Jayne and the wedding. He rediscovered his mojo and made sure his fiancée knew he found her attractive.

Then Florence phoned. Stuart was immediately on his guard. Florence assured him everything was fine. The children were well, Tibby had settled without the help of greasy paws and she’d got work in the local supermarket.

“Actually, it’s Shayne who begged me to phone. He wants to ask you something. I tried to dissuade him but you know how kids can wear you down when they go on and on about something.”

Stuart didn’t know. “Oh?”

There were muffled voices and clattering as the phone was handed over.

“Uncle Stuart? It’s Shayne.”

“Yes.”

“Please can I have my birthday party at your house? Granddad doesn’t have enough room. He says I can only invite five people but I want all the boys in my class to come.”

Stuart hesitated.

“You can say no, if you want.” Florence’s voice sounded from somewhere behind Shayne. “I explained you needed to keep the house clean and tidy because you’re moving.”

“We won’t make a mess. I promise.”

When had there last been a party in this house? There’d been the odd sedate family gathering at Christmas when his brothers’ children had either been banished into the cold or amused with electronic games. He tried to remember parties from his childhood and drew a blank. Words from William and Sandra about grabbing a bright new future came back to him. In his mind Jayne frowned at this ‘out of their comfort zone’ suggestion and the brothers winced.

“Yes. I’m honoured that you’ve asked me.” Then Stuart had to raise his voice above the cheering. “But I will need help. Lots of help. I don’t know what happens at children’s parties.”

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