Page 58 of Waiting for a Bright New Future

It was Jayne who remembered first. She sat bolt upright and looked at her watch. “Verafinished fifteen minutes ago.”

They both leaped out of bed and for a second looked embarrassed at their nakedness. Then they were scrabbling for their discarded clothes.

“I’ll come with you.” He didn’t want her to have to cope with anything alone ever again.

When they opened Stuart’s front door, Lillian was standing like a pale ghost on the gravel. Her figure visible from the light of the streetlamp. She had bare feet. Stuart put his shoes on and then carefully lifted Lillian’s feet, one foot at a time, into his slippers while Jayne helped her to keep her balance.

“You said you’d be here,” Lillian said. “I came to tell you, I’ve made cocoa for all three of us.”

“That’s good, Mum.”

In the kitchen they found three mugs, each half full of lukewarm brown liquid and a trail of cocoa powder and milk spills along the surfaces. Jayne cleared up and Stuart made fresh cocoa.

“I hope you two get married,” Lillian said as the three of them sat on the lounge sofa sipping their rich chocolatey drinks. “I’m going to be quite a burden to Jayne on her own.”

“We’ll manage, we’re a team now.” Jayne put down her drink and placed her left arm around her mother’s shoulders and used her right to squeeze Stuart’s hand. He squeezed back. The future was suddenly looking bright enough for sunglasses.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

After that, Stuart and Jayne saw each other every evening. Sometimes she brought Lillian round too and Stuart cooked for them all.

“She’s so much better when all three of us are together,” Jayne said. “It helps that she’s known you for such a long time. She’s not good with strangers anymore. The day centre suits her because there’s a couple of ladies there she was at school with, but one day a week isn’t enough. I’m going to have to get someone to pop in once a day when I’m at work. I leave her lunch ready, but sometimes she forgets about it or eats something completely inappropriate — yesterday it was a full packet of digestives.”

Even though it wasn’t a question, Jayne seemed to be looking towards him for the solution. Stuart opened his mouth to offer to help. He had the time and it wouldn’t be much effort.

Stop! Remember what Lillian said about wanting you to help Jayne find a care provider and not to sacrifice your own lives at her expense. Is offering your help the right thing to do? Wouldn’t Lillian want you to suggest a better solution?

Since his conversation with William, Sandra’s voice had changed again. It had become less strident and less sarcastic. It was moving towards his own way of speaking and thinking.

“That’s a good idea. Getting a carer.”

Jayne frowned. “But Mum won’t like a stranger in the house.”

“It would only be a stranger the first time.”

“I’ll give it a bit longer and see how she gets on. But if you get a minute after William’s lunchtime visit . . .”

“As you say, let’s see how it goes.” Being noncommittal was a struggle. He wanted to say ‘yes’ to see the relief on Jayne’s face, plus it was silly to pay for a carer when he was only next door. And, with no Florence bubbling brightly around the house during the day, he’d be glad of the distraction. The flatness of the house without her still dismayed him each time he returned from William’s. He kept hoping she’d reappear but she’d not even responded to his texted requests for a forwarding address.

There was a charity shop near William’s house and, one morning, when Stuart was getting back in his car after a breakfast visit, he noticed a woman trundling a basket of DVDs out onto the pavement in the early autumn sunshine. She saw him looking.

“Not a fan ofVeraare you? We’ve just had a donation of what must be every episode ever made. They’re not easy to shift now that everyone’s got Netflix.”

“I’ll take them all.”

When he presented the pile of plastic cases to the old lady, Jayne caught his eye, a half-suppressed smile playing around her lips. She’d got the message. They developed a regular routine of Jayne settling her mother down with a DVD in the early evening and then scooting over to Stuart’s. They set an alarm for just under two hours later to avoid a repeat of the bare-feet-on-gravel episode.

“I feel guilty,” Jayne said on the third evening. “Gradually she’s going to get worse. She’ll be able to do less and less. By sitting her in front of the TV, I’m wasting what quality time she has left. Surely I should be doing something more stimulating with her?”

There was a frown line across his girlfriend’s forehead and anguish in her eyes. Stuart didn’t know whether to reassure her or suggest they both go and attempt a game of cards with Lillian. He kept remembering the earnest way Lillian had spoken to him about not wanting to destroy her daughter’s life.

“It’s not my decision, but Lillian came to talk to me the day after your birthday. She was emphatic that she didn’t want her condition to destroy your life.”

“Are you sure?”

He nodded and a little bit of the fun came back into Jayne’s expression.

After that, Stuart always made sure that his bedroom was clean, bought flowers for the chest of drawers and a bright new duvet cover. He invested in new boxers and threw out the old threadbare pairs. There was always wine in the fridge and sometimes chocolates too. They didn’t always have sex. Sometimes they just cuddled, talked and enjoyed being cosy together. The evenings were starting to get darker and it was good to be able to close the curtains on the world. Everything was more comfortable now that physical barrier between them had been demolished.

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