Page 62 of Waiting for a Bright New Future

He wanted to give her more. Jayne deserved a decent present from her mother. But he knew that even a few pounds more would mean the direct debit for the council tax would send him into the red and the mire of bank and interest charges.

“What about chocolates?”

“Are you sad, Stuart?” Lillian asked as they walked through the mall to a specialist chocolate shop.

“Sad?”

“That wasted life. I keep thinking about Jayne. How many years of her life might be lost if she insists on caring for me? Surely it’s better to go in a home and let our children lead their lives? Or is there a case for euthanasia? If we were animals we’d probably be put to sleep.”

“Jayne loves you. She hates the idea of putting you in a home.”

“But I’ve tried to tell her that’s what I want. Or I think I’ve told her.”

“Is it what you really want?”

Lillian was walking slowly, one arm on Stuart’s. Now she stopped and turned towards him. Her face said it was an effort to keep her concentration on their conversation. “It’s not what I wantfor mebut it is what I wantfor Jayne. I want her to be able to enjoy her life while she still can. Even at my age, you always put your children first.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. Just be a sounding board. I tried to talk to Jayne but she wouldn’t listen. At least I think that’s what I did.”

As soon as they entered the chocolate shop, Lillian’s attention was diverted by an assistant in a white coat giving out free samples. Her feet picked up speed and Stuart was pulled along in her wake.

“Would you like to try today’s speciality? White chocolate strawberry cup.”

“Yes, we would. Thank you.” Lillian picked up two chocolates and pushed one into Stuart’s hand. “Do you have a chair? I’m feeling a bit faint.”

Two chairs appeared and they sat down.

“If you’re not well, I can take you home,” Stuart said.

“I’m perfectly well,” Lillian muttered through a mouthful of chocolate, “but don’t tell them that.”

The other customers were giving them sidelong glances. Stuart focused on making his chocolate last. When it was completely gone, he turned to Lillian. “I think you should buy a box for Jayne and then we’ll leave.”

“Not yet. Watch.”

Another assistant approached them with two mugs and a plate on a tray. “This might help revive you. It’s from our new hot-chocolate range and the biscuits coordinate rather nicely.” She produced a small table from an alcove and put the tray down.

Lillian smiled knowingly at Stuart and passed him a mug.

“Have you done this before?” he whispered.

“Let’s just say it’s worked in other establishments.”

“Now we’ve got a seat and refreshments we can go back to our earlier conversation. Do you think Jayne is worried about the financial aspect of me going in a home?”

“It’s possible. But I think she genuinely wants what’s best for you.”

“And that is the conundrum. I might want to stay at home under her care but will that still be best for me if I start mithering and worrying about the impact that’s having on her? Or worse, I might not even notice the impact it’s having on her.”

“Are you feeling better?” A badge on the white coat indicated this was the store manager. She was carrying a stack of large boxes towards an empty shelf.

“Much better, thank you. Oh! Is one of those for me? How kind.”

“Er . . . yes, with our compliments.”

Lillian threw Stuart a superior smile and they stood up to leave. Stuart felt a sugar rush spring in his step as they walked back towards the car. “I don’t believe you just did that. Those boxes were fifty pounds each.”

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