Page 59 of Waiting for a Bright New Future

Life took on a steady routine of Jayne and Lillian and William and cycling, spoiled only by the absence of Florence’s brightness. Stuart wanted to ask Jayne’s advice on how to tell Florence that she would be welcome if she wanted to return but, even in his gaucheness, he realised it might not be an appropriate question to ask his girlfriend.

* * *

One evening Jayne filled in some of the gaps of her past.

“For most of the time my marriage was OK,” Jayne told him. “It was never a passion to set the world on fire but we were both ready to tie the knot at the same time. It was what a lot of our group that didn’t go away to university did.”

She paused just long enough for Stuart to feel relieved that Carl had been no stud and then to pick up the reproach directed at him.

“I always planned to come back here. I needed a degree to make a good life for us. I did come back. But you didn’t wait.”

Attaboy! Don’t let her put all the blame on you.

Jayne gave a wave of her hand. “We’ve already talked about why I didn’t wait. It’s water under the bridge now. After a few years of trying, Carl and I realised children weren’t going to happen. I got the all-clear but his macho ego got in the way of medical checks on him. That’s when he started gambling. With hindsight, it might have been his way of coping with the attack on his manhood. His addiction to the horses meant we never had any money. I hated the insecure, hand-to-mouth lifestyle. But despite that I stayed with him until he started playing away.”

“I will never do that.” Stuart kissed her slowly, wanting to take away her years of hurt.

Jayne responded deliciously, making his toes curl, before continuing. “And then we got divorced and that’s all there is to tell. What about you?”

“Can I ask you a question first?” Only now did he feel confident enough to broach the subject. “What about recent dating? There was a man in an Audi?”

Jayne flushed. “That was before you and me . . . He . . . he didn’t understand about Mum. He wanted to sweep me off my feet and for a little while I was blinded by his money and the secure financial lifestyle he offered. But my circumstances don’t allow for knights in shining armour. You know what it’s like to constantly have to put someone else’s life before your own. Unlike you, he couldn’t understand that. That’s why you and I are such a good match and the fact that we have a history and get on well and, somehow, we just fit together. Having you back in my life makes me feel that I’ve finally reached where I want to be. I’m whole again.”

She cuddled closer to him and put her head on his shoulder.

It felt good, very good, to be wanted — but if Lillian didn’t exist, would Audi man have triumphed? Would Stuart’s own star dim if Jayne decided to put Lillian in a care home? Perhaps then they wouldn’t be such a good match in Jayne’s eyes. It wasn’t a thought he wanted to pursue.

“What about you?” Jayne repeated her question.

“There were two or three girls at university. After you’d taken up with Carl. And a brief thing with a Dutch girl in Paris when I went inter-railing. But since then, nothing.”

“Life is changing for the better for both of us now.” She snuggled even closer to him.

Again, that wonderful feeling of warmth and being wanted flowed through Stuart. Audi man didn’t matter. Stuart had won fair lady. He gently kissed her and then inclined his head towards the stairs. “I think we’ve just got time beforeVera’s latest case is solved.”

* * *

When Jayne wasn’t there, the atmosphere in the house reverted to the heavy emptiness of Eric’s last years, despite the glow that Stuart carried within him. The silence was more absolute than being home alone when Florence had lived there. Stuart pondered this phenomenon and hoped, that wherever she was, Florence was happy. She’d never returned to collect Tibby; that both worried and pleased him.

The cat had eventually cottoned onto the idea of weeing outside and, after a lot of scrubbing and carpet shampoo, the unpleasant smells in the house had gone. Tibby’s habit of winding herself around his legs while purring like a jet engine had remained and Stuart liked the comfort this brought.

But he worried that his ex-lodger might be out there alone, still grieving for her daughter. He’d now texted a few times about Tibby’s progress and left several voicemails to tell her some post had arrived. When she responded to any of these, he’d promised himself he’d keep the conversation going by telling her she was welcome to return at any time. But there’d been no response.

Jayne wanted the cat taken to a rescue centre. “Florence has gone for good. She’s probably got her hands on the tortoise diamonds and is living the life of Riley somewhere. The cat can’t come when you move in with us. Mum might trip over it or catch some feline disease.”

“Move in with you?” He hadn’t been expecting that.

Jayne flushed. “Sorry. I assumed . . . I thought we . . .”

Stuart couldn’t form his lips into the right words. He was flooded with happiness at being wanted but panic-stricken at the prospect of another sudden life change.

“In less than six months you’ll have nowhere to live and we’re in a relationship . . . It seemed obvious that you’d move in with us. Did you have other plans?”

“No.” Plans needed money.

“You’d be around in the day to keep an eye on Mum. She’d be so happy as well as me — it would mean no strangers in the house confusing her.”

“Oh.” This needed digesting. He’d be part of a real family. There wouldn’t be the loneliness of caring for Dad because Jayne would be there every evening. They’d do things together. It would be like now, only better. He couldn’t understand why her suggestion felt like a pillow being placed over his face.

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