Page 40 of Waiting for a Bright New Future

He went out to the garage and surveyed Mavis’s old bike. He felt and inspected the tyres, looked carefully at the brakes and chain, and ran his fingers over the paintwork. The bike was obviously well used but in immaculate condition. Mike was known for his bike maintenance skills and Stuart guessed he’d given it a full service before even thinking about selling it. There was nothing for him to do except determine how to engineer time away from Lillian for Jayne. Since her mother had gone missing, she’d become hyper-protective of her.

He ate scrambled eggs on toast for his tea followed by a chopped banana doused in honey yoghurt. The crossword didn’t hold the appeal of pre-Florence days. The people talking on Radio 4 were saying things of no consequence. His mind wouldn’t focus enough to decide which excuse to give to John prior to the next speakers’ club meeting. The drizzle outside the window looked like the drizzle in his mind. It came to him slowly that, since Florence had arrived, he’d learned to prefer people to his own thoughts. He picked up the phone and dialled next door.

“7-6-9-3-2-5?” Lillian had that old person’s habit of announcing herself with her phone number.

“It’s Stuart, is Jayne there?” His voice came out hesitant and anxious. Stuart still couldn’t quite believe that he’d been given a second chance with his first love.

You think she might suddenly realise that you don’t measure up to Audi man? Man up! You are offering her something more valuable than a shiny car. Be confident in your own attractions.

Stuart hated Sandra’s impression of a cryptic crossword but there was no chance to answer back; Lillian was speaking.

“Yes, she’s here! And I am so glad you two have become friends. It makes an old lady very happy.” Then she lowered her voice. “Did I tell you it’s her birthday soon? I know it’s soon because I made her write it on the calendar in a different colour pen so it stands out. She’s such a good girl, she deserves a lovely day.”

“Mum!” Jayne’s muffled voice held a hint of reprimand.

“Here she is, I’ll hand you over.”

“I’m sorry, Stuart. She’s becoming something of an embarrassment.”

“No problem. Do you fancy coming round? If you’re busy or Lillian needs you, no worries.”

“I’ll be there in ten minutes. Mum’s settling down to watchVera. There’s something about that detective woman or the Northumberland countryside that calms her and keeps her in one place. We’ll have a couple of hours.”

As soon as Jayne arrived, Stuart told her about the death of Florence’s daughter.

“A drug overdose!”

He nodded. The events of the last twenty-four hours were still whirling around his mind like so much discarded litter outside a chip shop.

“So, this daughter, she was a junkie?” Jayne’s expression said she was trying to make sense of a situation far removed from her own experience. “Like you see on the TV — stick thin, hollow-eyed, sprawled on a dirty mattress in a squat?”

“Probably not as bad as that.” His instinct was to stand up for Florence’s family. “She had two children with her most of the week so she must have been functioning. And Florence went to stay with her a while back; she wouldn’t have done that if it was just a mattress in a hovel.”

“It makes you think, doesn’t it?”

“How do you mean?”

“The impression of ourselves that we give to others might not be the whole truth.” Jayne paused. “In comparison to Florence, I’m boring. But at least I don’t have a secret like that.”

“You are not boring!”

She ignored him. “Do you know that Florence is clean?”

“What?”

“This is going to sound awful.” She took his hand. “I’m not deliberately trying to be nasty or kick a woman when she’s down, but Florence can be very hyper. Is it natural that a middle-aged woman has so much bounce and spends so much time whirling like a dervish? And she’s always urging you to join in — that could be an attempt to normalise her actions.”

This was something Stuart had never even considered. “Florence doesn’t do drugs.”

“I’m only saying this because I care about you.” Jayne took a breath. “But what goes on in her bedroom or when she’s out doing those gigs? Take it from me, most middle-aged women don’t have Florence’s energy.”

Stuart felt his fists curl tightly in response to Jayne’s words. He made an effort to loosen them and put them behind his back. “She doesn’t do drugs.” He repeated his words slowly and firmly.

“OK. OK. I’m sorry.” Jayne held her hands up in surrender. “I jumped in at the deep end but it had to be said.”

The words elephant and paddling pool come to mind.Stuart ignored his sister and concentrated on what Jayne was saying.

“I raised the question because I care about you. And it’s the legal secretary in me. If, and I realise now it’s a big if.IfFlorence was involved in drugs in your house, you wouldn’t come out of it squeaky clean.” She moved towards him and took his hands. “Please can we start this evening again? I overreacted and I’m sorry. Very sorry.”

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