Page 49 of Past the Broken Bridges

If you only knew how good you had it.

Now I regret ever complaining about the days when I had to do the bare minimum. And I also regret my choice of Converse, jeans, and a sweatshirt today because I’m achy, sweaty, and cranky.

Just as I’m about walk into the store—that’s hopefully got its air-conditioning on high—my phone starts ringing in my back pocket. I smile when I see Mom’s name, feeling a little comfort hearing her voice.

“Hi, pumpkin,” she greets. “I hope I’m not bothering you, but I wanted to check in since we haven’t spoken all week.”

I step off to the side to let a few people pass by me on the sidewalk. I have been putting off our phone call because I’ve felt like crap for days. I knew the second she heard my voice, she’d freak out and assume the worst. “You’re not. I’m out looking around right now.”

“By yourself?”

“Yes, by myself. I’m safe.”

“Do you have your pepper spray?”

I frown, forgetting that they even got me that. Dad also bought me a purple stun gun. After showing me how to use it, charge it, and store it, he made sure I put it somewhereI’d have it at all times. Which is in my apartment, probably next to my pepper spray.

Whoops.

Hesitantly, I say, “Yes?”

Mom sighs. “Sawyer…”

“I forgot,” I admit. “I was excited to get out and enjoy the sunshine, but I promise I’m being safe. I’m sticking to the main roads where there are lots of people.”

“What happened to your friend? I thought she was going to go out with you. And make sure you wear sunscreen! You don’t want to get—”

“Skin cancer?” I snort, half amused. “I think I’ll be fine, Mom. And Dixie and I are hanging out tonight. We’re going to a party. And yes. There will be alcohol. No, I won’t be dumb.”

Probably.

She’s not stupid. She and Dad know I’m going to drink. I got drunk at the first party I attended in high school. I embarrassingly drunk dialed my mom and she showed up with Bentley in tow and all but dragged me out.

Too bad it hadn’t happened before I lost my virginity in the back of car and then got sick in front of everybody. Mom definitely wasn’t keen on letting me do much on my own after that. Not that it mattered. Life changed quickly not long after, putting a damper on my social life. The only people I was partying with for the years following were the doctors and nurses pumping me with cocktails of expensive medications.

Instead of lecturing me, she says, “Be careful.”

I smile, grateful she’s not telling me to stay home or going on about the effects of alcohol. “I will. How are things at home?”

Over the next few minutes, she tells me that Bentley tried out for the ski team, which is laughable. My brother plays video games and can barely walk in a straight line without hurting himself.

“It’s for a girl, right?” I guess. Why else would he sign up for something like that? “Because he always came home complaining about what the gym teacher used to make them do. Like run two laps.”

Mom laughs because she knows I’m right. “I didn’t ask him why he wanted to join. But if it is for a girl, or a boy, then maybe it’ll help him get out of his bubble. That kid is far too concerned with his games.”

Leaning against the side of the building, I watch a few dogs sniffing each other across the street. “And Maggie?”

“She misses you.” A pause. “We all do.”

Swallowing, I nod. “I miss you guys too. Have you heard from Dad? We talked the other day, but he had to go because there was some issue with one of the new recruits.”

Mom tells me about their last conversation, which mostly had to do with me. “He was going to ask if you wanted to meet up for lunch sometime. I think he wants to check in on you now that you’re closer.”

Most people would probably hate having their parents so close, but I spent most of my life hearing my father’s voice through a phone or video. Having him nearby is a nice change. “I’ll have to see when he’s free. There are a few things I have coming up on the weekends, but otherwise I should be around.”

Mom is quiet for a second. “What kind of plans do you have?”

She already knows there are things I want to do in my time here, but I never went into specifics. Who wants to talkabout going to parties and hooking up with people to their parents? Nobody. Plus, it’s sad to admit that I’m planning on having sex. That sort of thing should probably be spontaneous, not something to cross off a to-do list.

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