Page 95 of Past the Broken Bridges

“Doesn’t know what?” my brother asks.

Mom doesn’t need me to explain. Her eyes are sad and sympathetic when they meet mine, a combination I hate seeing. “Honey…”

I shake my head, brushing off the hand she tries putting on my shoulder. All I want to do is get inside. “Let’s just have a nice family lunch together. I’m starving.”

I can tell Mom wants to say more, but she doesn’t. She probably knows it’s a lost cause. And she and Dad will probably have something to say about it later, but this can’t besurprising to them. I never said I was going to tell people the truth about me.

Not long after settling in with the plates full of food, I hear the door across the hall open and close. I feel a little bad for not inviting him in, especially because I’ll have to explain later. At least it’ll give me time to come up with an excuse.

That doesn’t stop my mother from bringing him up halfway into our lunch. “I still think that boy is cute. I don’t know, Sawyer. Maybe he’s understanding too.”

With food in my mouth, I say, “I wouldn’t get your hopes up.”

It’s something I’ve been telling myself for a long time now. The same thing I wish she would drive into her head. Hope is the only thing stronger than fear, which means it has the power to destroy.

Dad sets his plate down on the coffee table and scoots to the edge of the couch. “Your mother and I want to talk to you guys about something.”

Bentley and I share a look before turning to our father.

Mom puts her hand on Dad’s leg, and he puts his palm on top of hers. Considering how lovey-dovey they seem, it can’t be anything bad.

Dad smiles. “I’ve decided to retire after this year. I won’t be renewing my contract.”

Bentley perks up on the couch beside me, almost dropping his food on the carpet. “Are you being serious?”

Dad nods. “It’s time. I’m getting older, and I can’t keep up with the new recruits. Plus, I’ve been missing out on valuable time with family. I want to make the most of it.”

His eyes meet mine, and my stomach clenches when I hear the words he doesn’t speak.

While I still can.

My smile isn’t forced, but it’s tight with emotion. “Does that mean you’re moving back to New York?”

Mom and Dad look at one another, something in their eyes flashing as they silently communicate.

It’s Mom who answers. “We’re considering our options.”

Bentley frowns. “What other options are there? My school’s in New York. So are my friends.”

When Dad looks at me, I know what the other option is. Bentley is right though. He’s got a lot of time left before he graduates. Unlike me, he didn’t have to move around a lot when he was younger. He’s settled and happy where he is now.

I’ve already taken his peace away—the last thing I want to do is take his happiness too.

So, locking eyes with my father, I shake my head. It wouldn’t be fair to my brother if they packed up their things and moved down here for me. It wouldn’t be a permanent solution, only a temporary home.

Bentley deserves more than that.

Dad’s eyes dull, but his chin dips in acknowledgment. Even if they haven’t decided yet, they know my vote. And I hope it’s enough for them to consider what even five years down the line looks like, the way I have.

He turns to Bentley and says, “We’re only looking into other options. That’s all.”

Mom’s smile wavers, one of the corners of her mouth tilting downward.

She knows why I don’t want them to move.

So does Dad.

My eyes trail to the time on my phone.

---