Page 50 of Four Steps to the Perfect Fake Date

Dorothea spun in the wrong direction a beat too late, and her face connected with Flint’s outrageously violent flinging of his feather. The man was a danger to society. The back of the sheriff’s palm smacked the old woman across the jaw. Shouts echoed in the room.

And Daphne watched the poor old woman’s dentures leave her mouth like they were a sentient monster in a horror flick. They flew in a perfect arc, grinning maniacally as they came at her, and she didn’t even have time to lift her feather to block the impact.

The dentures hit her square in her left black eye. They were wet and warm and disgusting. Daphne screamed and flailed as she fell backward. Her foot caught on the edge of the rug, and she twisted in midair to try to break her fall. The giant pink feather went flying toward Archie Jr., who sat on his chair, staring at his grandmother with a look of abject horror painted on his features.

Daphne stumbled and crashed headfirst into his chest. Archie Jr. stomped on the arch of her foot as he tried to save himself, pushing Daphne away as he did. Pain lanced through her ankle as she tumbled to the ground, jarring her shoulder on the hardwood floors.

The dentures clattered and rolled under the sideboard, upon which the sound system blasted the music that was meant to be Eileen and Archie Sr.’s moment of glory.

Instead, chaos reigned.

Kathy wailed, using those impressive pipes of hers to destroy everyone’s eardrums. People clustered around Dorothea, who insisted she’dbe all right as soon as someone got her teeth back. Flint looked like a guilt-ridden mess, his big hands holding the old woman in place as he inspected her face. Archie Jr. sat up and shot Daphne a venomous look.

“I should have known inviting a Davis into our home was a bad idea,” he hissed.

Daphne, clutching her sore ankle, glowered at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Archie Yarrow the Younger was a man of average height with a growing bald patch on the crown of his head. He was the same age as Daphne, and clearly her prejudices had been correct. He’d been as full of himself in his youth as he was now. Sneering, he said, “Your mother burned my grandfather’s house down. Now look whatyou’vedone.”

“I’m not the one who smacked your grandmother in the face, genius.”

“Might as well have been. What Flint sees in you is a damn mystery. But I guess that’s what happens when you run topless through the streets just to get a date.”

Apparently the rumor had progressed. Wonderful. She glared. “Archie, I haven’t spoken to you in almost two decades. What the hell is your problem?”

Flint appeared above her, his gaze flicking between Daphne and the mayor, who shut his mouth as soon as the sheriff appeared. Flint dropped to a crouch. “You okay? Saw you go down hard.”

“It’s fine. Archie broke my fall.”

Archie blustered as he got to his feet, glaring at the two of them.

“I think I might have to keep you wrapped in bubble roll, Cupcake. You don’t seem equipped to navigate the world on your own.”

“Did you know I ran through the streets topless just to get a date with you?”

“When?”

“After we went to see Jerry Barela.”

Archie’s hands fisted where he stood, his gaze boring into the side of Daphne’s head. She discovered she enjoyed standing up for herself. This new, nonboring version of Daphne had its benefits.

Flint’s eyes glimmered as he ignored the man vibrating with fury above them. “I’m sorry I missed that.”

Archie let out a snarl and stomped out of the room without even checking whether his grandmother was okay. Flint watched him leave, then turned back to Daphne. The lightness had gone from his expression. His brows were drawn, his eyes full of concern.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Daphne asked, massaging her ankle.

The sheriff didn’t answer. He watched the movement of her hands, and his frown deepened. “You’re hurt.”

“I’m fine.”

“Can you stand?”

“I’mfine.”

“Last time you told me that, you walked away with two black eyes without getting checked for a concussion. Your behavior since then indicates that was a mistake.”

“You’re an unbelievably huge asshole, Flint. Did you know that?”

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