Page 8 of What Doesn't Kill Her

Kellen felt Dr. Brundage brush the bangs off her forehead.

Dr. Brundage made a “hmm” sound as she revealed the round red scar. She didn’t call Brenda in, either, but started irrigating.

“Mommy was in comma.”

“A comma?” Brenda sounded as if she was torn between amusement and a vast captivated interest.

“She couldn’t wake up,” Rae explained.

“That’s not good.”

“It was bad.” Rae sounded like she was telling a horror story. “Because she was pregnant with me and she didn’t know it.”

“That’s really not good,” Brenda agreed.

“She had me early.” Rae’s voice got gloomy. “My daddy and my grandma took care of me, and they were sad. Then one day, my mommy woke from her comma.”

“Coma... Never mind. What happened?” Brenda sounded eager.

Dr. Brundage was clearly riveted, too, because she pulled up a stool, said in a quick low voice, “I’m stitching now,” and went to work.

Lucky for them both Rae had such a piercing voice.

“She woke up and...?” Brenda’s voice trailed off invitingly.

“She didn’t remember she had a little baby girl. She didn’t remember my daddy. She didn’t know where she was. So she got up and got dressed and left the hospital, and we didn’t know where she was!”

“Wow. That’s quite a story.” Brenda sounded as if she wasn’t sure she believed it. Sensible woman.

“Don’t you want to know where she was?” Rae asked.

“Sure!”

“She joined the Army. She got to be a captain. She got shot and blown up and stuff. That’s how she got to be ThunderFlash.”

“I thought she was ThunderBoomer,” Brenda said.

“I haven’t decided.”

“Makes total sense.”

Rae continued, “One day she came back from the war and she still didn’t remember.”

The stitches pulled and tugged at Kellen’s hip. She could hear Rae’s voice grow uncertain.

“She went to work at Yearning Sands Resort for Annie and Leo—they’re my great-great-aunt and uncle, because I like them a lot and they’re great. Mommy met my daddy and she saved people’s lives and she kind of remembered and she almost got killed and then I told her she was my mommy.” Rae’s voice wavered more and more.

“And then?”

“Ithinkshe believed me.”

Oh, God.Kellen was such a bad mother. Maybe a bad person. She had a daughter, a daughter she hadn’t known, and sure, she was trying to be a mother now. But it was tough. She didn’t know much, but she knew she wasn’t supposed to make Rae uncertain and scared. Mothers were supposed to be smart. She was supposed to be right. She was supposed to know what she was doing—and she didn’t know anything!

She had no instincts.

She was a bad mother.

“Stop worrying about it. No mother knows what she’s doing.” Dr. Brundage was reading her mind.

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