Page 14 of What Doesn't Kill Her

5

The doctors and nurses had an attitude that grated on Roderick. They were nothing but glorified servants, but the way they behaved, they thought they were his masters. He told them he was in pain, and they told him he had had as much morphine as he was allowed. He couldn’t have more for another half hour. No matter how he yelled and cursed, they allowed him no more.

After the first day, they put him in a soundproof room and left him alone. The nurses only answered his call button once an hour. Every half hour, he got a nurse’s aide. The biggest outrage—he got a doctor once a goddamn day, and half the time it was a female and sometimes not even white. If he could, he would kick their asses, but the fall had shattered his legs and after the surgeries, he was in traction. He couldn’t move, he was ignored, and he was in pain.

He wanted drugs.Now. If he couldn’t have morphine, then a pain patch, and Oxycontin.

He twisted the self-medication button, trying to break it open and bring the rest of the morphine into his system, then punched the nurse’s call button once, twice, three times, four times, five...

Persistence finally produced results. A male nurse came in, one Roderick didn’t recognize. He wore a surgical mask. Everybody who came in wore a mask; the hospital was terrified Roderick’s compound fracture would result in infection and he assured them he would sue if it did.

The nurse stopped by the bed. “What can I do for you, Mr. Blake?”

“I want pain reliever. I want more morphine. I want Oxycontin. I want it all. I’m in pain here and no one in this goddamn place cares.”

“That’s true. No one does care. You’ve made yourself so obnoxious everyone will be glad to see you die.” The nurse fiddled with the morphine drip.

Roderick had put up with a lot of insolence since he’d come to this godforsaken country, but this was the worst. “You impertinent nobody. I’m not going to die! I’m going get out of here and sue the hospital and you—”

The nurse released a stream of morphine into his system. “No, you’re definitely going to die.” He pulled his mask down.

Roderick was in such a froth of rage, he didn’t notice the man’s features. He screamed, “Cover your face. You’re worthless. You’re incompetent!” Then the morphine hit. The pain was suddenly a minor annoyance, something to be contemplated from a distance. “That’s better,” he grunted and looked up at the nurse.

Recognition dawned.

“I expected better of you,” the nurse said. “You assured me you could watch her and kill her and make it look like an accident. You assured me you were the best.”

Roderick was aware his senses were rolling away on a tide of morphine, that he should be alarmed. But he wasn’t. “Don’t kill me.”

“You should have thought about that before you failed.”

“I never failed before.” Roderick slurred his words.

“Once was all it took.”

Roderick saw the nurse’s cold implacability. His hand moved in slow motion to push the call button.

The male nurse watched with coldly cynical encouragement. “Push it all you want. You’ve used up their goodwill. Not that they ever had any toward you.”

Roderick was dying. He knew he was dying. He thrashed. He tried to scream, but a huge weight rested on his chest. Morphine. Morphine depressed the respiratory system. He knew this. He’d killed with it before.

The nurse watched the life fade and blink out from Roderick’s eyes. “It would have been so much easier if you’d done your job. Now—it’s on to plan B.” He pulled up the mask and left.

6

Three weeks later, Kellen kicked at the boxing bag in the gym. One side kick, two side kicks, slow and easy. These movements were half balance and half making sure she warmed up the muscles in her hip and tore nothing loose in the healing tendons and veins. They were nothing like her usual rigorous workout and ferocious fighting attitude. She believed Dr. Brundage and her warnings; this healing would take time.

Next to her, Rae kicked at the bag, too, imitating Kellen’s reach and her speed, if not her strength.

Kellen grinned at the intensity of the child’s concentration. Rae so badly wanted to be Kellen. Flattering as hell—and worrisome. After Max’s lecture, Kellen was very, very worried.

The door opened.

Max stepped in. “Rae, your grandma’s looking for you. It’s time to get ready to go to day camp.”

Kellen stopped kicking and made conversation with the child. Her child. “What are you doing at camp today?”

“We practice our play. We have Bible study. We swim in the lake. The water’s cold. We have lunch in the tree house. We go down on the zip line. We get to buy one snack candy... I’m getting coffee brownie bites.”

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