Page 146 of An Engagement for Erica

But she remembered her father’s words when she told him she was dating Tucker.

Her father said how you get through the worst is more important because it lasts longer than the best.

She wasn’t going to let them not get through this. She was going to approach it the way she did everything else in life.

Logical and truthful.

Tucker had complained he’d taken all the first steps and maybe it was time she did.

“I’m surprised to see you,” he said.

She moved into his house and past him to the kitchen. “I need coffee,” she said. “I haven’t had it yet. It’s my one cup of the day.”

“Help yourself,” he said calmly. “I’m trying to figure out what is going on. Are you going to tell me or make me guess?”

She fixed her cup and then turned and pulled the ring out of her pocket and set it on the counter. “I wanted to give you this back. It’s a lie. Having it didn’t feel right. If we are going to make this work we don’t need this hanging over our heads.”

“Like starting over?” he asked, frowning.

“I guess that is a good word for it,” she said. “Why are you ticked off?”

His lips were twitching as if he was trying to stop himself from shouting. “Did my grandfather call you last night?”

“No,” she said. “I haven’t talked to him since he stopped over yesterday. And after he left I got thinking that he shouldn’t have done that. What we have is between us. I shouldn’t have taken someone else’s word for information without verifying the facts. That isn’t like me. I’m not sure why I did it other than when it comes to you I find I don’t always stop and think of my words first. I open my mouth and the words fly out haphazardly.”

“Why is that?” he asked, leaning against the counter.

She didn’t expect him to be so calm now.

“I’m starting to think that is what love is about. I’ve let go of being so rigid with you and by doing that, I’ve jumped the gun when I shouldn’t or don’t have a history of ever doing. When you told me about our relationship coming out at work, I had gotten off a call and was feeling unsure of myself and my chance at landing that contract. When you told me the news, I thought, oh crap, just another thing to make me doubt myself and running my business. It was thoughts in my head that should have stayed there until I could process them. My reaction made me think of my mother and that it’s something she’d say and it only upset me more.”

Her mother always went for the negative first without running scenarios to ensure she didn’t overreact.

He frowned. “You never doubt yourself in your career.”

“I’ve always done that,” she said, nodding her head. “Or did early on. Then I got to be successful so fast at my last job I got cocky.”

He laughed. “You’re the least cocky person I know.”

“I was confident,” she corrected. “No one is confident when they start their own business. They fake that they are to get where they need to be, because if you go in too confident then you don’t work as hard and rely on other attributes. That’s not me.”

“That’s the difference with us,” he said. “I’m confident in my career and my ability. Even though things are a shit show at work, I know I can fix it. That’s why I brought you in. I knew you could help me. But my personal life—that’s where I fake it.”

She took a sip of coffee so she could make sure her words came out right.

“Your grandfather said that when you love someone enough, you do things that you’d never find yourself doing any other time. And I’m not saying that so you think he said something that made me come here. I came on my own and have drawn my own conclusions. These are my words and thoughts.”

Because she realized last night that she probably talked about a fight with Tucker that TC knew nothing about and hated she might have given someone else information she shouldn’t have on an assumption again.

“Understood,” he said.

“I would have never, ever agreed to deceiving someone like we did your grandfather. I thought it was harmless and found out the only people it hurt were the two of us. More me than you because I was upset when the truth came out.”

“I’m sorry for that,” he said. “I’ll take ownership of it.”

“Why didn’t you tell me he knew?” she asked. She just needed to know that simple truth.

“Because I didn’t want to lose you,” he said. “That was the insecurity on my end. I told you I did it because I loved you before we even started to date. Maybe I didn’t recognize those feelings for what they were, but they were there. Even when we said we loved each other, you said it was about time I said it. If you felt it, why not say it to me first?”

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