What kind of fucked up shit is this?

And how am I supposed to tell her?

13

ISLA

Trying to concentrate on work is an exercise in futility.

I’ve been hunched over my laptop for over an hour and all I’ve managed to do is return a few emails. Forget the reservations I’m supposed to be making for my boss’s upcoming trip to Europe or the caterers I need to contact about the company’s yearly retirement celebration. Those require far more brain power than I’m capable of right now.

It’s not that I’m trying to procrastinate. I want to be the conscientious employee I claimed to be in my interview. I want to prove to my boss that I can still get all my work done even though I’m working remotely and not from the offices in Dallas.

But it’s sohard.

Ever since yesterday morning, when Matt told me about the lead he found, it’s been a struggle to keep my mind from wandering. And not to nice places, like it did before, like Matt’s adorable smile and how incredible it was kissing him. No. Since yesterday, my mind is filled with all sorts of terrible possibilities.

What if he finds the man who did this to me and it’s someone I know? Someone I trust? What if Matt finds proof of my worst suspicions, and I’m forced to face a reality I’ve been trying to avoid?

What if he discovers the people behind this somehow—I’m not sure how, but my thoughts aren’t entirely rational at the moment—have a claim to my baby?

Or.

What if he finds evidence this is all in my head, and I fabricated this whole story without realizing it?

God. I can’t even imagine. The hours,days, Matt and his team have spent helping me, not once bringing up expenses or compensation. And if it’s all for nothing? If we discover I had some sort of mental break after finding myself knocked up after a one-night stand I don’t remember?

I don’t think it’s true. I really don’t. But until I know the truth, I still worry.

If nothing else, at least I know Matt’s safe. He called me late last night—or early this morning, really—to tell me he was back at Blade and Arrow and would see me after breakfast. When I asked him what he found in Dallas, he wouldn’t give me an answer, simply saying, “It’s late, Isles. Too late to get into this now. I’ll be over in the morning. It’ll be okay. I promise.”

So at this point, all I know is Matt, Erik, and Dante went to Dallas to investigate some sort of clue, the repercussions of which are serious enough that Matt wouldn’t tell me over the phone.

Not nothing, then. If he’d come up empty, he would have just told me.

Is it any wonder I can’t get any work done?

My nerves are so tightly wound, I’m jumping at the most inconsequential noises—the refrigerator kicking on, a door shutting next door, and even the tiny ding of an email arriving on my computer.

I want to call Matt and beg him to come over. To justtellme already and put me out of my misery. But each time my hand twitches towards my phone, I remind myself,It’s his job. Blade and Arrow are professionals. They know what they’re doing.

Still. I just want to know.

Just as I’m starting my search—again—for the best price for a first-class ticket from Dallas to London, a quick series of knocks sound at my door. Startling, I smash my knee on the underside of the dining room table, and the little I had for breakfast threatens to make a reappearance.

Though I know it’s Matt—who else would it be—I still snatch up my phone to check the video feed from the camera above the front door. At first glance, I see Matt, and the band wrapped around my chest releases.

Then, less than a second later, I notice the two other people with him, and the band tightens again.

Rhiannon and Sarah.

Rhi’s presence isn’t unexpected, since she’s been helping with my case since the beginning. And we’ve become friends, so I’m not surprised to see her here. But Sarah? Why did Matt bring her along?

But I have a sneaking suspicion Iknowwhy.

Sarah’s a counselor. Not that I’ve ever talked to her as anything but a friend, but if Matt thinks I’m going to be upset by what he’s about to tell me, he might have asked Sarah to come for extra support.

What is he going to tell me?