Page 62 of Wolf's Whisper

Ashleigh looked in pain. Why was she in pain? Was it my fault? Was my Alpha pushing her down? Was I hurting her? I didn't want to hurt her. Not Ashleigh.

I looked at the man I was still holding. He had soiled his pants and his tears felt hot on my hand around his neck. I didn't want to hurt him either. I didn't want to hurt anyone. That wasn't me. No, that wasn't Akira.

I should put this man down. I should.

But Aspen's Alpha wouldn't have any of that. Mercy was wasted on him. As soon as that thought flashed through my mind, I could hear the Alpha growl in my ear. My fingers twitched involuntarily and my grip on him tightened.

Put him down. I told myself, willing my hand to release his neck. My fingers cramped and refused to obey. Put. Him. Down. I tried again, my muscles spasming as I tried to regain control over my body.

The man's face was turning redder with every second as I realised I was effectively crushing his windpipe. If I kept squeezing, he would suffocate.

Down, Akira. Down! I yelled internally, glaring at my traitorous hand. Why wouldn't it just open? Why couldn't I put the man down? Was this it? The other side of Aspen's Alpha? The price you paid for the ultimate power? Was this how he felt every time he lost control? Was this what he had to fight against?

I clenched my teeth, fixating on my hand, begging for it to open. I didn't need to kill this man. I didn't want to. And I wasn't going to. Not if I could help it. If only the Alpha would start listening to me again. If only I could make him listen to me, like in the beginning. But then again, was he ever really under my command? Had I used him or had he used me?

Refusing to believe I fell victim to Aspen's cunning Alpha, I bit hard on the inside of my cheek. The coppery taste of blood filled my mouth, the pain clearing my head a little. I refused to give in.

I tore my eyes away from the man I was choking and stared deep into Ashleigh's. If there was anyone who could give me strength, it was her. Her eyes were bright blue, so bright I wondered if someone had hidden a million sapphires in them. Oh, how I would love to stare in her eyes for all eternity.

The Alpha growled again, a wave of power washing over me as my grip on the man's neck tightened. At this rate, I would murder a second person before my first kill had grown cold. Was this what Aspen always had to deal with? No wonder he kept his Alpha locked up.

I glanced at him. He was standing still in the middle of the circle, sweat pearling on his forehead. He was frozen in a trance. In my trance.

I ground my teeth together. No, not my trance. Not anymore. I was no longer in control. His Alpha had taken over and we were both caught in the same haze.

Harshly, I bit down on my other cheek. More blood coated my tongue, pain shooting through me. With all the strength I had left, I silently begged Ashleigh to help me. To send her wolf to me. Helplessly, she stared back at me. Her blue eyes swimming with sadness and fear. A dread like no other settled in. She couldn't help me.

I was on my own. Ironic. Surrounded by my mates, by people who deeply cared for me, people I tried to save. And I would be my own downfall. I'd surrender to Aspen's Alpha and he would corrupt me, flood me with thoughts I never wanted to think. Fill me with feelings I despised. Turn me into the person I’d been working so hard not to become. He'd make me harsh, bitter, cruel. I would become my father. I would become who I hated most. And there was no one here who could help me and nothing that would stop it. I was all alone, just like I had been my whole life. Just me. Always only just me.

A low growl suddenly emitted from deep within me. A sound that sent a shiver throughout my whole body.

My wolf.

Of course, my own wolf. How had I forgotten about her? She’d always been here, had always watched over me. Had Aspen's Alpha even made me forgot my own animal soul?

Mate. The beast in my chest breathed, reminding me who I was fighting for again. I wasn't here to win my mother's approval. I didn't need my father's love. All I needed, all I wanted, was my mate. My mates. Ashleigh and Aspen. This was for them.

Mate. My wolf growled louder, more determined. I closed my eyes, picturing a set of amber and blue eyes, and forced my body to relax. I gathered myself and took in a deep breath. I would not let this Alpha ruin what I had going on with the twins. I would not let this Alpha tear this pack apart. I would not let it take me over. I refused.

All the power I could muster, all the will I had left, I channelled it to my hand. I would not kill this man. I would not take another life.

Pain shot up and down my arms as all my muscles cramped and with every twitch from my fingers, the man's eyes rolled deeper into his skull. If I didn't release him soon, they would stay there forever.

Come on. Come one. Come on.

With a flash, the world turned back on. All the noises came rushing in, overwhelming me as they crashed against my eardrums. With a loud scream, I yanked my hand loose, freeing the man who fell to the ground as he gasped for air.

With a frustrated growl, the Alpha retreated back into Aspen, where he belonged. His grip on me broken.

Free from the Alpha's trance, I realised how tired my body was. My right leg was trembling, the muscles in my back spasming, my thighs cramped. I was exhausted. Utterly exhausted. With a sigh, I sank down on my knees. I didn't care about the blood or soil staining my clothes. I just wanted to rest.

Before I could hit the ground, a warm body embraced me. Arms wrapped tightly around me as the scent of sweet strawberries engulfed me. Ashleigh.

"Thank the spirits, you're okay," she cried out, hugging me like she hadn't seen me in years. Abruptly, she pushed me away from her. With tears streaming down her face, Ashleigh shook my limp body. "Are you mad? You could've died!" she yelled, concern colouring her voice.

I gave her the best smile I could. "Worth it."

"You silly, silly girl. Dear heavens, I don't know what I'd have done if I lost you here," she wept, shaking her head as she feverishly tried to wipe away the tears streaming down her face.

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