Page 49 of Against the Current

She suddenly burned with images of other families sitting around the back porch, watching the sunset. She imagined some other mom cooking at the stove. She was on her feet, breathless. Could she really do this?

What other option did she have?

Things happened quickly after that. By morning, she had two inquiries to see the place. By the following day, she had three more.

Ryan was too distracted at the office to notice that the Sutton Estate was on the market. He moved through the world like an angry, lumbering bear. But when Jackie had six viewings set for the Sutton Estate for the following week, she pulled him aside and told him, in a matter-of-fact tone, that she wanted to show the house and “see what happened.”

Ryan was pale and strange. He kept putting his hands into his pockets and pulling them out again. “If you think it’s right,” he said. “I’ll tell Trisha to be out of the house.”

Jackie nodded and lowered her gaze.This is it, she thought, speaking to her mother in her head.This is how I failed you, Mom.

All weekend, Jackie thought about her mother and father. She thought about the tremendous memories she had on the Sutton Estate. But more than that, she thought about how ridiculous it was that her mother had spent millions—literally millions—during the years after Jeremy’s death. She was reminded of the heinous way Dana had treated Trisha, simply because Trisha was from a family who didn’t have much. It turned Jackie’s stomach.

Why did I let Mom get in my head like that? Why did I give her so much power when I knew she was using her power all wrong?

Jackie knew it was almost impossible to fight the influence of your parents. She knew that was partially why Ryan was back on the island—ready to open his arms to his mother’s influence again.

He was lost.

But who wasn’t lost? Life was confusing. There were no right answers.

Jackie still couldn’t get her head around why they’d run into Trisha on Martha’s Vineyard. To Josh, she kept saying, “It was the strangest thing. She popped up out of nowhere.”

Josh just laughed. “I’m glad she’s exploring. She probably gets really bored, cooped up in that big house all day. And it sounds like the kids have had a really difficult go of it the past few years. She needs to have a good time.”

But ever since their trip to Martha’s Vineyard, Ryan had grown increasingly pale and nervous. It was almost as thoughhe knew something. Calling Sarah Strong or even Quinn seemed off the table. Once on Ryan’s desktop, Jackie spotted a job advertisement for a marketing position in Boston. Was he already making plans to leave?

At least Boston wasn’t so far away.

At least she wouldn’t feel so guilty for selling the Sutton Estate. Ryan would be off, doing whatever he was meant to be doing. She and Josh would be fully retired and eager to travel. They could visit Ryan and Trisha and the kids often (provided Trisha still allowed them to be around the kids).

On Tuesday morning, Jackie met the first of five potential buyers at the Sutton Estate. As they went from room to room and talked about the “tremendous potential of the space,” Jackie fought perpetually to keep tears from falling.

“Look at that view,” Jackie said, pulling back the curtains. “The sunset is always splendorous. Year-round.”

The first couple had made their money in the world of technology and social media. They were in their late thirties and still wanted to start a family—a family they’d bring here to Nantucket in the summertime.

“I suppose there’s no real market to rent out to tourists in the winter? When we wouldn’t be here?” the woman in the couple asked, frowning, as though she were already calculating the money they’d lose if they had a summer-only place.

“There are numerous people who live here year-round,” Jackie said brightly. “It’s a wonderful community. I raised my children here. I was raised here in this very house. The few vacations we took always made me understand how magical it was to live year-round in a vacation destination. I couldn’t wait to come home.”

The couple glanced at one another, communicating in a language Jackie didn’t understand.

“What I mean is,” Jackie added, “you could live here if you wanted to. You wouldn’t have to leave it empty during the winter.”

They seemed unconvinced.

The next couple who came to look at the Sutton Estate was slightly older and had recently become empty nesters. Originally from the West Coast, they spoke slower and louder than Jackie was used to and seemed nervous about the island’s lack of mountains.

“We’re used to hiking,” the woman explained with a funny laugh. “But I’ve always longed to live an island life.”

Her husband was crotchety. “She’s got this dream to open a bed-and-breakfast,” he explained. “But I don’t know why we wouldn’t do it somewhere warm. A bed-and-breakfast on Nantucket can only really profit half the year, if that.”

The thought rang through Jackie’s mind for the rest of the day. The Sutton Estate as a bed-and-breakfast? Why hadn’t she thought of that? Suddenly, her mind was filled with images of Josh, greeting guests at a front desk he would build from scratch and put in the foyer; she imagined meeting people from all over the world and showing them Nantucket’s generous spirit. She imagined telling them just how important that Sutton Estate was for her and her family and sharing Dana Sutton’s family recipes. Her heart swelled.

Suddenly, she had no interest in showing the Sutton Estate to anyone else.

But right around the time the older couple with bed-and-breakfast dreams finished their tour, another couple pulled in—a man in his fifties and his slightly younger wife, who confessed she was three months pregnant and eager to find a forever home for her family. Right away, Jackie realized this couple was far more serious about the property than the others. Her palms were sweaty. Still, she acted out the part of a real estate agent,taking them from room to room and answering their questions. The pregnant wife was overcome with joy at every little detail.

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