Page 42 of Against the Current

“Hi, Daddy!” Willa cried happily, breaking his reverie.

“Hi, honey. Hi, Rudy. Hi, Gavin.” Ryan sat down beside his daughter and grabbed a plate. “Mom made a beautiful breakfast. Did you thank her for it?”

“Did you?” Gavin asked, his voice tinged with teenage attitude.

“You’re right.” Ryan raised his chin to look at his wife. “This looks really good, honey. Thank you.”

Trisha only looked at Gavin, Willa, and Rudy when she said, “It’s my pleasure.”

Ryan felt awkwardness drape itself across the table. A rogue thought fell into his stomach. If he didn’t make enough money at Sutton Real Estate, they’d have to move, and he didn’t know where they’d end up. If he didn’t make enough money at Sutton Real Estate, he would have failed his family—and Trisha—yet again.

He had to figure this out.

Ryan knew better than to bring up the Sutton Book Club with the kids around. He waited till Willa, Rudy, and Gavin were hanging in the living room, watching cartoons. He piled dishes into the dishwasher and scrubbed the skillet while Trisha took a washcloth to the kitchen table.

A male Sutton has never cleaned up in this kitchen, Ryan thought. He knew his grandfather had certainly never washed a dish in his life. Grandma Dana and the other mothers had always been in here by themselves, gossiping and laughing while the men watched television or went outside to talk about sports.

“Mom asked about taking the kids to the Sutton Book Club today,” Ryan said finally, then braced himself.

“What’s that again?” Trisha eyed him.

“It’s a sort of community center and library,” Ryan said. “My aunt Esme runs it.”

“Aunt Esme? The woman your uncle Victor left for his secretary? That Aunt Esme?”

Ryan grimaced. That drama had happened before he’d gotten together with Trisha, but the evil of that particular family lore had remained lodged in her memory.

“One and the same. Apparently, they’re back together,” Ryan offered.

Trisha’s mouth hung open. “You’re kidding.”

For a moment, Trisha seemed to forget that she was angry with him and at the world. Her eyes echoed her curiosity. “Come on. Tell me.”

Ryan explained what he knew—that Rebecca, Bethany, and Valerie were back after years away; that Esme and Victor had helped Valerie move back to Nantucket and in the process had talked out their differences and fallen back in love again.

Trisha continued to look at Ryan as though she’d never seen him before.

It was as though she’d never fathomed that that level of forgiveness was possible.

“I was thinking,” Ryan pushed it, “that my mom could take the kids to the Sutton Book Club, and we could go to that little wine bar by the harbor?”

The idea struck him all at once.

Trisha tilted her head and continued to look him in the eye. Ryan let his arms hang at his sides. He felt like saying,I’m doing my best. I still love you. I hope you see that.But he felt incapable.

Trisha sniffed. “Let’s go to the Book Club together and see what it’s like. If Willa’s happy there, maybe we can mosey down the block. Maybe.”

It felt like the first good news Ryan had received in years.

He said, “It’s a deal.”

That afternoon, the five of them drove to the Historical District and parked a block down from the ornate mansion that housed the Sutton Book Club—a gift from Aunt Esme’s father Thomas to Esme and her family of six. Jackie was waiting for them out front and hugged each of her grandchildren. “We better get inside before it starts,” she said.

Aunt Esme was stationed at the big library desk in the back of the first floor of the Sutton Book Club. Just as Ryan remembered her, she wore a pair of spectacles that gave her away as a big reader, and as she greeted each incoming child, her smile was joyous. Of course, she was older now, weathered, with gray hair that popped out in adorable curls around her head.

“Ryan!” she cried. “Is this your family?”

Ryan blushed. Sometimes he felt he needed to pinch himself to remember just how lucky he was to have a family in the first place. Some couples tried and tried to get pregnant. Some couples were never given that gift.

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