Page 51 of Maid in America

“Preferably out of the shell.” That, she said with a straight face.

He shook his head and walked away, mumbling, “Smart ass…”

“Okay, please don’t judge me by what you’re about to see,” Chastity pleaded, her jasmine perfume all Barrett could focus on as they stood outside the closed door to Apartment 208.

“How bad is it?”

“It’s bad.” She didn’t hesitate. “Think about the last crack den you saw onIntervention. It’s pretty much that.”

Barrett took a dramatic inhalation and chewed his gum, pretending to prepare himself for the worst.

The flickering halogen bulb outside of her hallway suddenly stopped blinking, casting him in a steady beam. For a split second, she couldn’t help but feel as if Barrett himself was, indeed, a light in all of her darkness.

He wagged a roll of trash bags at the door like a wand and said, “Open-ee-oh-sum!”

“You’re not a wizard, Harry,”Chastity said, mimicking Hagrid’s voice.

“Surely, that would have worked atHogwarts.”

“Nerd.”

He rolled his shoulders back. “I’m ready. Open it.”

Chastity shifted the pail of cleaning supplies to her other hand and unlocked the door, throwing it wide open.

Barrett stepped in, eyes wide with momentary horror as he looked around. Then, his expression changed to one of confidence. “Oh, yeah. Wegotthis.”

“This is going to take forever.” Her shoulders slumped.

“No way. Darlin’, you’re looking at a semi-trained amateur-professional.”

Barrett’s eyes studied the graffitied walls, the chaotic landscape of litter, and the paraphernalia that covered almost the entirety of the floor’s surface in the living room.

“These are your new digs, huh?”

“Yup.Home-crap-home. I told you. I wasn’t exaggerating.”

“I see that. The upside is that this place is tiny. Shouldn’t take that long to clean.” He shrugged and looked at her. “The upside for me, personally, is that at this moment, my apartment looksreal goodin comparison.”

She laughed. “Notthatgood.”

Barrett wandered through the rooms, taking mental notes and figuring out an order of operations. He halted, peering down at something in the bathroom. “Is that a blow-up doll?”

Chastity sighed. “You saw that, huh?”

“Yeah… I kinda like it.” He cocked his head to the side. “Kinda makes the place feel homey. You should put her by the door like a little Costco greeter.”

Four hours later, the apartment was garbage-free and smelled of lemon-scented disinfectant.

“We’ll get you some fresh paint and posters to cover the graffiti.”

“Thank you for this. It already looks a million times better.”

“You’re welcome.” He smiled. “Hey, maybe since you’re starting out on a new adventure,weshould start fresh, too.”

She scrunched her brows, confused.

“I’ll start.” He stood up straight and smiled. “Hi, gorgeous. What’s your name?”

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