Page 39 of Maid in America

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“You nailed it. Idon’t know what you said or did this time, but Ms. Aguilar was thrilled,” Will said through the phone.

Barrett balled his free hand and pounded it into the air, whispering, “Fuck yeah!”

“She said to tell you next time, ‘Freya wants Loki.’ I’m ordering a Loki knockoff costume right now.”

“You need my sizes again?”

“Nah, Ava keeps ’em all in a book. She’s so fuckin’ organized it makes my head spin sometimes.”

“Oh man, I’m so relieved she liked me. Am I off probation now?”

Will laughed. “We’ll see. I’m just glad it went well. She’s over the moon. Think you might have just gotten yourself your first regular. I’ll have outfits all ready for tomorrow, so just swing by the shop at seven and pick up the go-bags.”

“Ugh, seven?”

“Yeah, that means you’ll probably have to hitSwoleat six. They’re open then, right?”

“Yeah, they’re a twenty-four-hour gym.”

“Good. In the morning, you’ve got an eight-thirty as Elvis Presley inThree Creek Ranch, and in the afternoon at two, you’re out inShooting Stardressed as… a naval sailor.”

“Elvis? Like young Elvis, or, like, obese-toilet-Elvis?”

“Which one do you think, genius? Let’s use our brains.”

“Geez, wow. My boss is a dick.”

Will laughed hard on the other end.

“These costumes are lame. Why don’t these women ever pick any of the cool ones?”

“Barrett, I promise,” Will sighed, “you will get to wear the Jack Sparrow soon. I’ll… run a discount on that one or something. Five percent off the fee if they choose it.”

“Fuck, man, if Ava wasn’t marrying you, I’d step up to the platemyselfand wed your ass.”

“We wouldn’t mesh well, Barrett.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m, like, a nine… and you’re a three.”

“Oh fuck off, I am not a three. Ask Aguilar! I am aGod!”

“God of toe fungus.”

“Hey, Fuck-stick, I just had a pedicure recently.”

“You’re such a girl.”

“Speaking of, who do I turn in the receipt to? I can expense that, right? It’s a write-off.”

“Yeah, right. Ava’s gonna check with the tax accountant and see if your fuckin’spa daysare reimbursable,” Will teased.

“I’m picking up sarcasm, Mr. Jessup. Keep it up, and I’ll leave you. I’ll call our wedding off.”

“I wouldn’t marry you if youpaidme, Barrett.”

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